Our look at the first round. We’re too exasperated to do the second round. More on the draft throughout the day. Caption Yi: “When does the plane leave to go back to China?”

1. Greg Oden, Portland – Kevin Pritchard made great picks and great trades and vaulted himself into the ‘very, very good’ class of GMs. Oden will wear the No. 52.
2. Kevin Durant, Seattle – Centerpiece to an amazing night that hopefully will keep these guys in one of our favorite cities in America.
3. Al Horford, Atlanta – Though Hawks fans are nonplussed, where else could Billy Knight have gone?
4. Mike Conley, Memphis – Poor Kyle Lowry. Poor Pau Gasol.
5. Jeff Green, Seattle (from Boston via trade) – Like it, but isn’t he the same position, SF, as Durant and Wally? Surprisingly, Celtics fans don’t seem crushed but Bill Simmons is.
6. Yi Jianlian, Milwaukee – It’s like having first pick in the neighborhood football game and selecting the guy you don’t get along with who doesn’t want to play with you. Confounding.
7. Corey Brewer, Minnesota – He’s already praying KG stays.
8. Brandan Wright, Golden State (from Charlotte via trade) – Hated him in Charlotte, love him with the Warriors. Was he jettisoned for what he said about Michael Jordan? Nah.
9. Joakim Noah, Chicago – That hair is going to be the end of Scott Skiles. A curious pick, indeed. See, now Spencer Hawes would have been nice here …
10. Spencer Hawes, Sacramento – … but not here. Kings fan reaction is priceless.
11. Acie Law, Atlanta – Stud.
12. Thaddeus Young, Philadelphia – Billy King is the new Billy Knight. Draft positions where we don’t need help! Outstanding analysis here.
13. Julian Wright, New Orleans – Wake us when he gets a handle or a consistent jumper. Regrettable.
14. Al Thornton, Clippers – Surprisingly, Clippers fans aren’t all that upset about this, even though Nick Young or a point guard may have been a better fit.

15. Rodney Stuckey, Detroit – Don’t see how he contributes with Rip and Prince in town, but whatever.
16. Nick Young, Washington – It’ll be an offensive orgy in Washington next year.
17. Sean Williams, New Jersey – We’ve got to get this guy the digits for the weed delivery service in NYC. Yes, they deliver to your apartment. Should he room with New York’s Zach Randolph?
18. Marco Belinelli, Golden State – Best foreign player in the draft will step into J Rich’s role, minus the ego. Oh, and the J Rich trade is not going over well with fans.
19. Javaris Crittenton, Lakers – When Kobe walks in a couple years, this kid should be able to run the team nicely. All-around terrible draft for the Lakers, though.
20. Jason Smith, Philadelphia (from Miami via trade) – Those rabid fans in Philly are going to eat this kid alive. After they tar and feather Billy Knight.
21. Daequan Cook, Miami (from Philadelphia via trade) – Pat Riley’s lost it; Cook should familiarize himself with the D-League bus schedules.
22. Jared Dudley, Charlotte – You know, he could end up starting over Adam Morrison.
23. Wilson Chandler, New York – Promise was kept. Leave it to the ornery old man to find fault with the addition of Zach Randolph.
24. Rudy Fernandez, Portland (trade from Phoenix) – Three foreign point guards walk into Portland …
25. Morris Almond, Utah – So AK 47 gets moved, right? Because he’s a small forward, so is Almond, and so is last year’s top pick, Ronnie Brewer.
26. Aaron Brooks, Houston – Back to streetball, Rafer Alston.
27. Arron Afflalo, Detroit – Your frontline of C-Webb, McDyess and ‘Sheed on the verge of collecting social security … so you draft two guards?
28. Tiago Splitter, San Antonio – Spurs drafts are like our visits to Taco Bell – same order everytime (steak baja gorditas, baby!).
29. Alando Tucker, Phoenix – Perhaps a sign Shawn Marion is still on the block?
30. Petteri Koponen, Portland (trade from Philly) – Might as well give ever foreign point guard a chance, right?

2007 Sports Agent Draft (Sports Agent Blog)
Rating the Mock Drafts (Vegas Watch)