Four-Step Solution to Fixing the Cleveland Browns
NFL, Video November 2nd. 2009, 10:30am
Patience, Cleveland fans. The Dallas Cowboys of the 90s weren’t built in a day.
1. The Browns must announce that coach Eric Mangini and GM George Kokinis will stay with the team through 2009 and 2010. Nobody can come in and turn a franchise around in a handful of games. Everyone cleans house and brings in their personnel guys and their players. Plus, as Peter King noted on NBC last night, the Browns still owe Romeo and Phil big bucks for terminating them last year.
2. Name Brady Quinn the starter for the rest of the season. He’s much more the future of the team than Derek Anderson is. (This doesn’t mean, as Rodney Harrison hinted last night, that the Browns should make a statement and “cut” Anderson.) We’re still in a tiny minority, but we think Quinn can be the QB of the future in Cleveland. It won’t help if Jamal Lewis is serious about retiring. For Quinn’s safety, it might be best to have him operate exclusively out of the shotgun vs. Baltimore in two weeks.
3. Bolster the weak defense (allowing 26 ppg and 409 yards per game – both are in the bottom five in the league) first in the draft, and then make sure to grab a sure-handed receiver in the 2nd or 3rd round (Jordan Shipley, Golden Tate, and Eric Decker should all be around). Cleveland is in desperate need of a possession receiver.
4. Try like hell to convince the commish to rearrange the divisions so that the Browns don’t have to deal with Ben Roethlisberger and Joe Flacco for the next five years.
Go Dallas!
Wait for the last replay to see a textbook stiff arm … albeit delivered to a punter. For another week, there won’t be any “Tony Romo isn’t an NFL QB” reactions. The kid is playing well. The NFC West does wonders for confidence. Next up: The hot-and-cold Eagles. That’s the best game of week nine.
Promise there will be no more playoff talk in regards to the Jets. Swear. Came into the season thinking 4-8 wins was likely. Deceived by the 3-0 start. Yesterday’s devastating loss – gave up only 104 yards and nine first downs to Miami – ends all playoff hope.
“They’re a great team,” Bart Scott said. “They’ll probably contend for the Super Bowl. They have a tremendous offense, great running backs, a great quarterback, a great tight end. They are stacked across the board. I’m serious. They are great. Like I said, they have a great team. They have a tremendous offense and they showed it today. They are Super Bowl contenders and they will probably take it all the way.”
Have no issues with those Bart Scott quotes. Like the sarcasm. There’s no way the Jets catch New England in the AFC East (no shot at winning in Foxborough), and the AFC North has three teams that are likely playoff-bound (Cincinnati, Baltimore, Pittsburgh), so there’s no room for another Wild Card team. It’d take a season-changing injury to Carson Palmer or Joe Flacco. And even then, the Chargers and Texas (who the Jets have a tiebreaker over) will be in the mix.
So with the playoffs out of the question, we’re starting to turn our attention to the 2010 draft. Our initial thought is defense. We’re thinking the line (heir apparent to Jenkins or a pass-rushing end) or cornerback.
The Worst
Vince Young and Chris Johnson led the Titans to their first victory of the season. Steven Jackson and the Rams registered their first win Sunday, too. That leaves the Tampa Bay Bucs as the only winless team in the league (0-7). The schedule is unforgiving – Miami is their only opponent in the next four games that has a losing record.
First pick in the draft? Tampa has the inside track (closely followed by Cleveland, St. Louis, Detroit, and Kansas City). It won’t be a QB. It won’t be a RB. Nobody takes a WR first. Which leaves a few options: offensive line (probably how KC and Oakland are leaning; those two are 2nd and 3rd respectively in sacks allowed this season) or defensive line (Suh!). Darkhorse: Tennessee safety Eric Berry.
Gus Johnson on Chris Johnson.
88 Responses to “Four-Step Solution to Fixing the Cleveland Browns”
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November 2nd, 2009 at 10:33 am
At least the Jets and Giants can split the cab fare to Fraudeville.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:33 am
Why? He comes off as a bitch. Fact of the matter is, the Dolphins aren’t that good. But you know what, Bart Scott? They beat you. Twice. Shut your mouth.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:33 am
The blimp shot of Chris Johnson’s run (he needs a nickname) is pretty sweet.
Another random football note – Peter King busting out six exclamation points:
Brett had him at hello.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:33 am
that was just teddy being teddy yesterday
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:33 am
The Browns(+13) was such an easy cover until those ass clowns threw 2 pickles and lost 3 fumbles.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:35 am
yeah play quinn why the fuck not
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:35 am
Also, awesome call by Dick Stockton on that Crayton punt return. As Michael Cole would say, “Vintage Stockton!!”
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:36 am
Why won’t it help to have an old prison hardened running back who isn’t running well retire?
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:37 am
That’s spectacular.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:37 am
Promise there will be no more playoff talk in regards to the Jets. Swear. Came into the season thinking 4-8 wins was likely. Deceived by the 3-0 start. Yesterday’s devastating loss – gave up only 104 yards and nine first downs to Miami – ends all playoff hope.
I told you last week that I’d take a 3 month break from here if they made the playoffs. You and Jersey were the only people still riding that playoff hope, TBL.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:38 am
As Michael Cole would say, “Vintage Stockton!!”
I love Michael Cole!!
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:39 am
c’mon weeze, you missed the money quote from King’s interview of Favre:
And now, I wondered, how was the groin four hours and a lot of lost adrenalin later?
“It’s throbbing right now,” he said.
Then Peter politely excused himself, and changed out of his sticky shorts
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:39 am
ill – what’s your team? if you were projected as a .500 or below team, and then went 3-0 with wins over the Titans and Patriots, you’d be drinking the kool-aid, too
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:41 am
The blimp shot of Chris Johnson’s run (he needs a nickname) is pretty sweet.
Every Coaches Dream
is his choice.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:41 am
i wish gus johnson could get the national fox games instead of joe buck. maybe its just me but i like a guy who is excited to be watching and calling an exciting game not a dildo.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:42 am
If the Bears played like a real football team they would have put up 60 points.
/Glares at Ron Turner
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:44 am
oh no, that’d actually be a HUGE help. jamal lewis is TERRIBLE.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:44 am
i’ll bite on Bart Scott …
THE JETS ARE BETTER than the Dolphins.
*!*^%$#@%&*(^*^*
/clearly, still not taking the loss(es) well.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:45 am
I am still jaded. I still think this team is better than their record. Alligator arms took two kicks back to the house and Sanchez played well in the 2nd half. If I showed you just the team statistics from yesterday, you’d wonder how the fuck the Jets lost. But yeah, 1-3 in our own decision is terrible. Just awful football against our rivals.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:45 am
i feel bad for gus every time he has to call a browns game
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:45 am
In Ill’s defense, all it takes is something sparkly or shiny and you’re on all fours lapping the kool-aid out of the bowl.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:46 am
ill – what’s your team? if you were projected as a .500 or below team, and then went 3-0 with wins over the Titans and Patriots, you’d be drinking the kool-aid, too
Ironically enough, I’m a ‘Skins fan. After last year, I understand how hard it is NOT to drink the kool-aid created over the first half of the season. I see the Jets as the overachievers the ‘Skins were last year.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:47 am
This is one of those times where deep down I know this is true and I also understand that believing it so much definitely makes me stupid.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:47 am
Ron and Mark Anderson to the Chargers for Ron’s brother Norv and Ron Rivera. Everybody’s happy.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:47 am
Defense is on your mind after giving up 100 yards and 9 first downs?
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:47 am
Wow.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:48 am
Because we are the Cleveland Browns. We spit on your logic about young QB developmnet, seeing if your investment might pan out and not trotting out a QB who can’t throw a fucking screen pass. We’d rather count on shitting on our best player, having that best player be a goddamn kick returner and trotting out the decaying corpses of old running backs.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:48 am
Bart Scott is a bitch that talks too much trash trying to be Ray Lewis 2.0.
And I’m almost certain that the Browns will cut/trade Brady Quinn next offseason. Mangini wants to try his boy Ratliff under center and Anderson is giving him the excuse.
As for #1 overall next Draft, I still think it’s Suh. Nothing against Berry but given the high cost of the #1 overall pick, you’re almost forced to go against a safety.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:49 am
Haha, nice. The Vikes are on bye next week, I wonder if King is back on “I’m writing another 5 paragraphs about Favre even if they he doesn’t play” status with him? If only he had a Facebook.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:50 am
TBL/Jersey – You’re defense was overrated after he first three games. The Titans are inept on both sides of the ball and Brady had the Peyton-syndrome from 2007 after knee surgery. Parlay that with a rookie QB, I don’t think it was hard to see this dropoff coming.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:50 am
You are what your record says you are.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:50 am
*your
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:51 am
do you think those kick returns are “nonsense” plays too?
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:51 am
Getting rid of Rivera for Babich really pissed me off. Their justification for the move was that Rivera wasn’t well liked. Well guess what? Life is about having to work with people you don’t like. He was the most qualified person for the job and never should have been forced out. And the player leading the whining about Rivera? Urlacher.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:52 am
Special Teams doesn’t count!
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:52 am
It must suck to think for 40 consecutive years you have a great team, but then find out you’re wrong every year
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:53 am
I loved how there was no mention of Favre’s quote prior to the game, then after, he fills King’s notebook with talk of “I told T-Jack and Sage to be ready because I wasn’t sure if I could go.”
Get. The. F. Outta. Here. The guy’s a hall of famer, but his past few seasons he’s been the biggest prima donna attention whore I’ve seen at the QB position since Jeff George was getting June Jones banned from the NFL.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:53 am
Btw, Kurt Warner is done. I think it’s time to start Leinart, again.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:54 am
Those games were epic. You can’t beat player-coach screaming matches on the sidelines.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:54 am
Really?
The Dolphins have had both the remaining unbeaten teams (Colts, Saints) on the ropes and they beat you twice.
I think the Dolphins are better.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:54 am
Favre and Big Ben have a bet going on for who has the balls to be the first QB to say they struggled playing with a pulled hangnail
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:55 am
Brett Favre is a Saint!
/30-23 and 38-26
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:55 am
Can’t do that, as bad as the NFC West is. They can still beat out the Niners and earn the right to lose in the wild card round.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:55 am
Brett Favre thinks you are a Brett Favre hater
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:56 am
The Falcons do not approve this message
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:56 am
I think it’s time to start Leinart, again.
Someone go wake him up from whatever ASU coed house he’s currently crashing at!
As for the Jets, Giants, etc…one of the side effects of so many bad teams is that we have seen teams feasting on bad teams and thinking they’re better than what they are.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:56 am
Oakland better than Eagles
/Everyone’s here logic except Bart Scott
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:57 am
i’ll bite on Bart Scott …
THE JETS ARE BETTER than the Dolphins.
*!*^%$#@%&*(^*^*
/clearly, still not taking the loss(es) well
Too bad then that the only venue to prove this, the field during game time, shows otherwise.
Not feeling too good about the Texans victory over the Bills. Slaton can’t hold onto the damn ball to save his life and Owen Daniels is gone for the year. Kind of makes me wish we still had Bennie Joppru.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:57 am
It’s amazing how healthy some teams look. Dallas has beaten 4 stinkers and one good team, and they seem like they might be really good. We’ll see next week.
Same with the Giants, if you count Dallas as a good team, they’ve only beaten one good team.
Philly’s only beaten one good team, too. And they’ve been beaten by a stinker.
So who’s really good in the NFC east? Probably nobody.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:57 am
Any chance we can get June Jones back to coach the Bears?
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:57 am
Just another chapter in the HOF resume. (/laughs). Lost me my knockout pool, thats what I get for trusting the Cardinals.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:58 am
Can’t do that, as bad as the NFC West is. They can still beat out the Niners and earn the right to lose in the wild card round.
Isn’t the NFC West bad enough that Leinart could win it? Warner is painful to watch back there, almost like robocop with his slow movements and excessive gear.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:58 am
Truth. I don’t really have a clue who the best teams in the league are right now, other than that I’m pretty sure Pittsburgh and Baltimore both will be by year’s end.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:59 am
I trust no one in the NFC East, especially for gambling purposes – not to cover or lay points or anything. Stay far far away.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:01 am
Any chance we can get June Jones back to coach the Bears?
He’s a little busy helping my Mustangs go back to a bowl for the first time since 1984.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:03 am
I’m pretty sure Pittsburgh and Baltimore both will be by year’s end.
My one lock yesterday, Ravens over Broncos.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:03 am
Ron Rivera wanted his money before Lovie got his. He was being a bitch so they had to let him go.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:07 am
I wish there was a reality show with Tampa as a CEO.
“Nope, being a bitch, hit the street.”
“And for our head of security, Darth Vader. Gimme a fist pump, YEA!”
“Now bitches, all bend over and the one with the fattest ass gets to be my assistant, cool?”
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:09 am
“Now bitches, all bend over and the one with the fattest ass gets to be my assistant, cool?”
There’s an Easy E song where he’s a rapping bank robber that this brings to mind, involving his preference for the larger of two vaginas.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:11 am
Truth. I don’t really have a clue who the best teams in the league are right now, other than that I’m pretty sure Pittsburgh and Baltimore both will be by year’s end.
I think the Steelers have righted their ship. Baltimore though I’m not sold on just because they have lost to teams on their level (Minnesota, New England, Cincinnati) but have also won against the Chargers and Broncos.
For example, the Saints beat the Jets when they were 3-0 and the Giants when they were 5-0. Those wins looked impressive back then. Now, they don’t look so impressive.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:11 am
Christopher Walken reading lyrics of Poker face. You’re welcome
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:12 am
Well, Baltimore looked pretty dang good yesterday, but it’s tough to say what that means, since they literally *always* beat Denver. No matter how good/bad either team is. It’s like the Broncos-Patriots mojo in reverse. I can only remember one Bronco victory and it came in ‘96, when Vinny T. was the Ravens QB.
Pisses me off, but I was resigned to a loss when I saw this game on the schedule. Bmore’s divisional opponents seem to play them much, much tougher. Well, except for Cleveland.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:15 am
I liked this from Pete Kings earlier column.
7. Sidd Finch, aka Miles Austin, trying to continue his Ruthian streak against the Seahawks.
Mixed metaphor?
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:15 am
BREAKING – Emily Valentine making her debut on 90210 right now.
Great ep.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:16 am
Well, if the Raiders had beaten the Eagles twice, they might have more of a case.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:17 am
Yes. As i said above, the DOLPHINS ARE A JOKE.
Jets need another CB, and the DL doesn’t get any pressure on the QB (well, yesterday they did). Safe to say Gholston is a bust.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:20 am
i realize there is nothing i can say that will prove the jets are better than the dolphins?
why?
because there IS NOTHING that shows that.
if you watched both games though, and you were a Jets fan … you’d agree with me.
/let me be, please
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:21 am
Goddamn Sanders, you know me too well.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:23 am
don’t be afraid to take your medicine, TBL.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:23 am
I’d drink a quart of bleach?
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:23 am
fire the o coordinator…im actually shocked it didnt happen on the walk to the team plane last night
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:24 am
if you watched both games though, and you were a Jets fan
then you’d wish you kept your yap shut prior to both games.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:26 am
aren’t the jets just playing with house money anyways??? they did win the superbowl in week 2 afterall
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:27 am
Guess that makes the Jets a laugh track.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:28 am
Its definitely hilarious to hear Bart Scott make those sarcastic statements, I was thinking if the Dolphins are really so bad, then how awful are the Jets??
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:28 am
Guess that makes the Jets a laugh track.
HEY-O!!!!
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:29 am
Fuck you dolphins!
/South Park’d
//Bart Scott’d
///TBL’d
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:29 am
If Rex Ryan is any kind of coach, he’s screaming this at his players all week in practice.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:29 am
Guess that makes the Jets a laugh track.
I’m tipping my waitress, and trying the veal.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:30 am
+1 Tampa
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:31 am
took my medicine yesterday. Ted Ginn served it to me.
then, i spat it in his face.
/clearly, not quite over the loss
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:32 am
Yet instead he will be beating his chest and telling anyone who will listen how good they are.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:35 am
very nice
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:40 am
Emily Valentine. That little minx caused so much trouble.
Browns should go for Berry in the draft. He is going to create turnovers for years. Having a great safety has worked out well for the Ravens and the Steelers D. I could also see Suh or McCoy for them as well.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:50 am
Having a great safety has worked out well for the Ravens and the Steelers D.
Also the Colts (when he’s healthy) and the Cardinals, too. Wilson’s the first guy at the bottom of the steep dropoff after the first three.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:54 am
B Dawk still pretty good.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:58 am
B Dawk still pretty good.
quite true. I feel a little foolish now.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:59 am
When Walken get’s to the “Oh Oh Ah Oh Oh, I’ll get em hot!” part, it’s epic.
+1 for the link