NFL Pigskin Pigsplosion Preview Week 11
NFL, Pigskin Pigsplosion November 20th. 2009, 2:00pm
I think its great that LeBron James is going to play for the Browns. An big athletic tight end that hasn’t played organized football for the better part of a decade is just what the city of Cleveland needs to turn around its football team.
Ironically – or coincidentally, I can never remember – the answer to the Cavaliers’ problems is on the Browns’ roster.
That’s right, Brady Quinn. Now, I couldn’t find anything about him being a good player in high school and I’m fairly certain he didn’t play for the Irish basketball squad, but I did find this picture of him playing basketball.
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Now, let me point out a couple things.
1. He’s dribbling with his left hand. Dude is right handed! Obviously, he’s a good ball handler. (I swear that wasn’t intended to be a joke about his homosexuality.)
2. He has his head up. You know what that means – Court Vision! He would easily average as many or more assists per game as Anthony Parker.
3. His hair looks great. You look good, you play good.
4. He’s got a cannon for an arm. Delonte West actually carries a cannon.
5. The final reason Brady Quinn would be great on the Cavs doesn’t show up in the picture, but its easily the most important. Going 13-31 with 2 turnovers in a basketball game isn’t that bad.
Bye Week
The bye week is – there are no bye weeks! That means from here on out, every team plays every week. No matter how bad they are.
Unsplosive Video
For some reason, this video has been making the rounds this week. I don’t understand why. It’s old. It was originally on Digg in August of 2008. *pushes glass up nose*
Fraud
Cutler! Holy shit man. 29-52 for 307 yards and 5 picks… yeah. That’s why they traded for the man.
Game Manager
Vince Young again. Who would have thunk that he would become a game manager? I guess you could say that college football and the NFL are completely different.
Hot Chick
That’s Bar Refaeli. She’s cool. You knew that though, didn’t you. She comes to the Pigsplosion via Hollywood Tuna which is kind of NSFW.
Movie Time!
Each Friday a new slew of shit opens at the box office. Starting today, I’ll be discussing one or more of those films in the Pigsplosion. Today, what else could we discuss, but NEW MOON!
This movie sucks. Just a guess. The reviews are less than stellar. Can someone explain to me why people have been waiting in lines for days to see this? Confession: I along with a group of friends saw a midnight showing of Return of the King the night it premiered. We were in line for… an hour. We discussed dressing like Ents, (We discussed a lot of dumb shit back then.) but were way too lazy to do anything like that. My point is, we waited in line for an hour. That was the max. And that movie was awesome. I can’t understand why the youth of America are so fucking stupid. Oh, its because they have shitty parents. While we’re on the subject, an 8 year-old should not have a cell phone. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I don’t think anyone who can’t drive needs a LeBron damned Droid.
Picksplosion’em
Last Week: 9-6
Overall: 71-73
CAROLINA (-3.5) over Miami
I made the pick before the game, forgot to enter it into my pick’em contest and then saw Miami was up 14-3 in the 3rd quarter before I wrote this. My question to myself would have to be… why didn’t I just change my pick?
Indy (+1.5) over BALTIMORE
OK, I’m confused. Why is the undefeated team an underdog in week 11?
New Orleans (-11.5) over TAMPA BAY
6 of the 9 teams that have two word city names are playing each other today. This will be a major factor this weekend. Look for at least 3 of those 9 teams to earn wins.
GIANTS (-6.5) over Atlanta
I figure the Giants have to eventually win again. At some point. Definitely. It’s totally going to happen.
MINNESOTA (-11.5) over Seattle
Weather will not be a factor Sunday.
KANSAS CITY (+10.5) over Pittsburgh
Not so much a vote in confidence for KC as a vote of fraud for the Steelers.
JACKSONVILLE (-9.5) over Buffalo
My friends who are Bills’ fans would always say “Show them the Dick” whenever Dick Jauron was shown on television during Buffalo games. Needless to say, some disappointed text messages were exchanged Tuesday. Even more disappointing, saying “Show them the Dick” was the highlight of the last few seasons for Bills’ fans.
GREEN BAY (-5.5) over San Fran
A risky bet because the 49ers just shut down the Bears. Once you’ve shut down one high performance offense, you’ve shut them all down.
DETROIT (-3.5) over Cleveland
Let’s hope this game is blacked out. For everyone’s sake.
Washington (+12.5) over DALLAS
No word whether Beaker made the trip to Dallas or not.
Arizona (-9.5) over ST LOUIS
Must be the money.
Cincinnati (-9.5) over OAKLAND
How do you not stick with JaMarcus Russell?
NEW ENGLAND (-10.5) over Jets
Belichick cut the punter this week so he couldn’t be second-guessed again.
Philly (-1.5) over CHICAGO
If the city of Chicago has ever needed a win, its this Sunday. This is worse than what New Orleans was facing after Katrina.
San Diego over DENVER
I still don’t have a line for this game, so I’m just going to pick the Chargers by whatever the line is set at. Lines provided by Bodog.
HOUSTON (-3.5) over Tennessee
Hard to believe this is a MNF game.
65 Responses to “NFL Pigskin Pigsplosion Preview Week 11”
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November 20th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Indy (+1.5) over BALTIMORE
OK, I’m confused. Why is the undefeated team an underdog in week 11?
Beacuse vegas wants your dumbass to take Indy so they can make money off you.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
that stupid lebron quote was played on the local news in philly. what a fucking dumb thing to report on and make a story of. i almost ripped my tv off the wall. i don’t hate lebron or anything and don’t really care that he said it. the amount of attention it got was insane and here i am talking about it probably a week later. damn.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
HOUSTON (-3.5) over Tennessee
Hard to believe this is a MNF game.
You’re disappointment, expressed through lack of use of boldface, speaks volumes.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Looks great to me.
/MikeNYC
November 20th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Look – if I wanted to read this kind of detailed analysis I’ll wait for the Fridays with Artie Lange post on Saturday.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Your blackout wish is the Lions command:
November 20th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
i actually think it was sunday lol
November 20th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Philly (-1.5) over CHICAGO
Wow. That line was 3 yesterday. The smart money’s on ChiTown.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Okay, so my ability to post links doesn’t work, but the point is, the Lions/Browns game is blacked out, which is good for all of humanity.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
No worries, CRM, we’ve all been there.
/no we haven’t, loser
November 20th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
blacked out locally. im going to be pissed if i end up seeing that game
November 20th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
I am very happy that I had no idea what the fuck “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” was.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
this is why mid-afternoon gym trips are risky: If i left when i wanted to – 145 – i would have totally missed that ESPN story. i know, i know, that guy is a non-entity, but breaking news = hits, and breaking “inside baseball” news, IMO, is the most fun part of the job.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Let the Perry Fewell era begin. Jags going down
November 20th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
A mormon teaches teens about abstinence by making Kimberly Stewart the most desirable woman on Earth so two gay dudes can fight for the right to look pensively at her.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
I was really hoping that the detroit game wasn’t blacked out. I get the Detroit tv feeds and REALLY wanted to watch it. I’d be able to tell my grandchildren about the shittiest football game ever played.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
bring the smartphone to the gym tbl. something breaks, you break out the laptop. do you have wifi at your gym? you are a man of the town. you need to stay connected on all levels.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Just in case anybody is curious, the following site shows which NFL games are shown each week in your area. Can be handy.
Week 9 Games
November 20th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
its going to be staffords break out game, if you are a lions fan how can you not tune in
November 20th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Jesus, I thought that was Fergie for a second.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
omgomgomgomgomgomgomgtwilightomgomgomgomgnewmooneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
/teenage girl’d
November 20th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
this is why mid-afternoon gym trips are risky: If i left when i wanted to – 145 – i would have totally missed that ESPN story. i know, i know, that guy is a non-entity, but breaking news = hits, and breaking “inside baseball” news, IMO, is the most fun part of the job.
Morning person or not, the best time to go is right after you wake up (unless you get up after 8am). You can’t procrastinate and it jump starts the metabolism!
November 20th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
you need to get your eyes checked in a bad way man.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
whenever i see a preview for new moon i just wonder why the werewolves arent wearing any shirts while they are in human form? is it because it saves them money on white t-shirts because if they were wearing them and they turn into werewolves the shirts tear?
November 20th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
i thought twilight was about vampires
November 20th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
A couple of chicks in my office went to the vampire movie at midnight last night. These are grown ass women. DO NOT GET IT.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
They hot?
November 20th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Can’t be.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Depending on your workout, it jump starts your metabolism whenever you do it. Also, I can hardly see straight when I wake up, much less go to the fucking gym.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
is it because it saves them money on white t-shirts because if they were wearing them and they turn into werewolves the shirts tear?
If they wore these white tees, I think they’d have room to spare during after they turn.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
it never hurts to ask.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Do you mean hot hot, or office hot?
/still dont know what that means
November 20th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
i wake up at 5 for school. no way i can wake up any earlier
November 20th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
I can never get a good workout done in the morning. No energy at all.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
Is CRM not picking/noting the DEN/SD game at all? If we pretend it doesn’t happen can we ignore the fraudulence of the AFC West?
He better not give himself credit for a win on that one next week.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Depending on your workout, it jump starts your metabolism whenever you do it.
Truth. But if you, say, workout at noon and got up at 8, that’s four hours you burned less calories.
To each their own.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
i wake up at 5 for school. no way i can wake up any earlier
Jesus texans. When is your first class? Is the school two hours away?
November 20th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
im so gangsta i wear a shirt long enough to be a dress.
/probabluy one of the dumbest fashion trends evar. dumber than tight rolling jeans even
November 20th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Office hot works if its a big company. Plus, if you get the rep of a happy hour boinker, you get raises.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
50 miles one way. starts at 730. i give myself an hour to wake up, eat and shower. i have left at 6 and gotten there at 8 after a few wrecks.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Do you mean hot hot, or office hot?
Office hot is when women are rated higher because you are forced to see them everyday, like a gf or wife.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Do you mean hot hot, or office hot?
/still dont know what that means
It means are you ready to chance a visit from the Mad Shitter
/long story’d
November 20th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
made me laugh audibly, ill.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Criminy – I’d find a charter school if you couldn’t move closer.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Oh. Well these girls are neither kind of hot. Maybe that explains them lusting after teenage vampire/werewolves?
November 20th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Ill: I think its more, they’re hot by default. Meaning hottest amongst the office, but still a 5 in the real life bone zone.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
I’ve got another hour before calling it a day. bring it on.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
Still no line on my pick’em site for SD @ Den. Noted. I put the game in and took SD no matter what the line is.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Ill: I think its more, they’re hot by default. Meaning hottest amongst the office, but still a 5 in the real life bone zone.
True, just another way of putting it. Though, it’s entertaining to watch them go thru body transformations over time – sometimes looking thinner and hotter, sometimes gaining weight and always moody. That was partially the reason I compared the ‘hot’ office women to gfs or wives. They were always better looking at some previous time and will continue to have ups and downs.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
It means are you ready to chance a visit from the Mad Shitter
/long story’d
I’ve got another hour before calling it a day. bring it on.
miz: TBL After Dark Goes Off the Rails. I can’t bring myself to link to it-lol
November 20th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Pigsplosion is the best part of the TBL week.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
@Ill: That’s perfect. You see the mess unfold before your eyes and then think, “I can’t believe I thought she was hot when she first got here.”
November 20th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
One commenter said he knew a guy who, after a night of drinking, woke up with a deuce on his chest left by the chick he took home. Hilarity ensued.
/short storied
November 20th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
unbelievably disgusting/awesome/funny.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Yeah! Who needs books/tv/therapists/drugs/alcohol to learn women. Just observe the office environment!
/”I learned the facts of life from watching The Facts of Life!”
November 20th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
@Ill: +1 Cable Guy
November 20th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Got to love Lebron and his PR team. The football story is what people are talking about right now. Not where he is going to sign after this season.
November 20th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Groin: I owe you a +3:
+1 for summarizing the story so easily for miz
+2 for saying One commenter
November 20th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Ten/Hou isn’t exactly a horrible Monday Night Game. VY back starting playing well 3-0 as a starter. You have the best running back in the league running wild and fuckin explosive as hell. Houston has a great offense and is a fun team to watch. i can think of shittier games than this one to watch Monday Night.
November 20th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
I enjoyed this.
November 20th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Can’t stand skinny jeans or the douches who rock them. Same for anything that does not FIT YOU.
As far as working out, am I the only one who has enough energy to complete it following work (6 pm start)? I can’t do workouts before 3 pm. I guess you get adjusted to it if you keep at it in the mornings.
November 20th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
roeth- i was gone for a while but i would if i could. theres only one aviation mechanic school in houston and i like the area i live at. im not willing to move down south so i have to deal with the travel. im done in jan
November 20th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
@karma
I can only work out after work or on the weekends. i’m not a morning person. i barely function enough to get up and out the door to walk the dog after 7 hours of sleep if it’s not bright outside.
November 20th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
Yeah, I’m not a morning person either. That’s likely because I’m a student, but I’m trying to improve.
There was a stretch last year when I got up at 5 am every morning, and I got used to it within 2 weeks or so. It felt awesome. And then I killed it all one weekend by drinking till 2 am.
November 20th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
+1. Oversized or undersized. too loose or nut-hugging tight. Shit is just dumb. I feel sorry for the future.