auburn-cheerleaders This one will be a bit shorter — I got some familial and non-familial duties to attend to as Friday unfolds. I could use a horrible Thanksgiving pun about this being “the appetizer” to the “main course” that is next Saturday, but I’ll spare ya. There’s a few interesting things going on across the next 48 hours on college gridirons, and goddamn it, that’s what we’re going to discuss. That and a few other things entirely unrelated to college football.

Top Five Games Of The Weekend

1. Nevada vs. Boise State: BSU, playing at home, should win. Thing most people ignore: BSU only won this game 41-34 last year. Nevada, as everyone who follows CFB now knows, had three 1,000-yard rushers this year. This one will be close. If you’re doing family stuff tonight, grab your cohorts round and round and explain the ol’ pistol offense.

2. Florida State vs. Florida: Means nothing really, but it’s Tebow/Spikes’ last home game and there’s a 150 to 1 shot it’s Bowden’s last regular-season game as a coach. Get after it.

3. Pittsburgh vs. West Virginia: May make Pittsburgh vs. Cincy irrelevant. Backyard Brawl = good rivalry title, because every time out, be it hoops or football, these schools smack each other in the mouf.

4. Oklahoma State vs. Oklahoma: If this game is decided by more than 21 points in favor of the Cowboys, bet on Bob Stoops as the next coach of Notre Dame.

5. Alabama vs. Auburn: Feels like a trap, but isn’t at all.

The Bar Plan

Don’t be a heathen prick. Hang out with your family. The games you need to round ‘em up for are: Nevada/BSU (let the little ones stay up late), Florida/FSU tomorrow and maybe ND/Stanford, just for the end if nothing else. This is, of course, relative to where you are geographically. If you’re in ‘Bama, chances are 2:30pm today is a family event in and of itself.

Non-Football Related Things To Discuss As Games Get Boring

1. The generic: What are we thankful for?
2. The controversial: Who’s the black sheep of this family?
3. The political: How far can Obama fall before mid-terms?
4. The social: Did anything burn down as a result of this?
5. The cinematic: Does “Up” or “Fantastic Mr. Fox” have any chance to win an Oscar — or at least get nominated, since the field is expanding to 10 nominated films this year?
6. The cougarific: Who’s a good athlete pairing for Lisa Ann, currently with a clown Kardashian? Our best bet: Bobby Ryan, Anaheim Ducks. From sports people follow? Jeremy Shockey would certainly be intriguing, as would Matthew “I look like I’m 16″ Stafford.
7. The movie marathon-centered: What’s the best football movie of all-time? Personally love this:

Douchy Thing To Say At A Family Gathering

“Auburn has about as much chance of stopping Mark Ingram as Rachel does of getting married.” (Gesture to your cousin Rachel as you say this. Take a sip of scotch.)

Five Most Overplayed Storylines Of The Week

1. Who will coach ND?
2. Rivalry games!
3. It’s not December 5th, but it will be soon …
4. Tebow says goodbye
5. Charlie Weis says hello … to the Kansas City Chiefs:

Legitimate Attempts At Picks

Easy: Alabama over Auburn
Hard: Notre Dame over Stanford. Let’s go out a winner, big man.

Back next week with a ton of junk related to UF/Bama, UC/Pitt, Clemson/Ga Tech and Texas/Nebraska including theories on Mack Brown’s livelihood.