This pasty, shirtless fisherman is Charlie Frye. Or at least that’s what the internet says. To our chagrin, he has been named the Cleveland Browns starting quarterback for Sunday’s opener. Suddenly, there is much optimism in Pittsburgh, because the Steelers are now 1-0 even though there are still five days until the game. Charlie Frye seems like a swell guy. If you need your sink fixed. Or if you were struggling with the hefty decision of which wireless router to purchase from Best Buy. You might not even get angry if he dated your sister because, let’s face it, he looks like a decent human being.

Quarterbacking this offense? Probably not. We’re thinking Pittsburgh 31, Cleveland 7. You?