In Memoriam: Brewers Playoff Hopes, Nine Months, Die
Uncategorized September 29th. 2007, 12:34pm
The playoff hopes of the Milwaukee Brewers, Major League Baseball darlings for the first six weeks of the season, died Friday night in Miller Park. They were nine months old. Though a coroner has not yet listed a cause of death, it is believed to have been choking. The Brewers health had been in decline for weeks due to underwhelming starting pitching, a terrible bullpen, and an occasionally misguided coach. The team’s playoffs hopes became gravely ill in June, when the Brewers went 10-20 over a 30-game stretch. Their health further deteriorated when pitching ace Ben Sheets went on the DL in July; with him out of the rotation, Milwaukee went 12-26 and lost its grip on first place to the bickering Chicago Cubs. The Brewers are survived by Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun, who no doubt long for a trade to a real franchise.
11 Responses to “In Memoriam: Brewers Playoff Hopes, Nine Months, Die”
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September 29th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
this, coupled with the rockies’ loss and FOX/TBS coverage, is gonna make these 2007 playoffs increasingly difficult to watch.
September 29th, 2007 at 1:38 pm
i’d say root for San Diego and Milton Bradley, but they just knocked you guys out. Maybe the Mets?
Can’t root for Philly. Not with douchy brett myers on the roster.
September 29th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
who really wrote this? and nine months? why nine months?
September 29th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
Yours truly. I think it was January that most people started penciling in Milwaukee as a playoff team. Didn’t google it up, though.
September 29th, 2007 at 3:47 pm
Nine months is conservative.
Baseball America’s Jim Callis in an ESPN chat, 9/27/06
“I continue to lead the “Brewers in 2007″ bandwagon that I jumped on a few years ago. They have some holes, but that whole division is weak and winnable.”
http://proxy.espn.go.com/chat/chatESPN?event_id=13023
He was hardly alone with this prediction at the end of last season.
September 29th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
oh, i gotcha. i wasn’t aware there was brewer hype.
and i only asked who wrote it because it was really well-written and clever. ha.
September 29th, 2007 at 4:15 pm
I was thinking the same thing as Lozo- the style of this post is noticeably different than any other I can remember reading here.
September 29th, 2007 at 4:47 pm
The real reason they are not making the playoffs is all of those fans who started a web site and promised to urinate on themselves when the Brewers made it. Urine = no playoffs.
September 29th, 2007 at 4:57 pm
thanks, fellas. if i had no full-time job, you’d see more of this kind of thing (though GQ or Esquire or Details has done some kind of death article like this in the past).
That, and Saturdays are a beautiful thing.
Basically, I’ve got two options – more posts, less time on each of them, or fewer posts, some with flair.
September 29th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
look at vegas watch. he has 37 pieces of flair. you have the bare minimum.
September 29th, 2007 at 9:33 pm
Prince Fielder is not amused, and plans on flooding your server with posts under the name, “The Hamburgler.”