Who among us hasn’t been rejected from an exclusive bar, only to attempt greasing the doorman with an inconspicuous slip of $50? Or boasted of the size of our manhood to impress women? Or gone to a strip club and dropped some serious coin?

Mark Cuban did all of these things this week, presumably the night his Mavericks swept the Grizzlies out of the playoffs. Except someone told the tale to Page Six, and Cuban’s probably a little red in the face this morning.

“The girl then asks if they could just go in without a table, but [doorman] says no. Cuban then says to [doorman 2] something to the effect of ‘I’m Mark Cuban . . . What’s it gonna take?’ He offers him cash – I think it was a thousand bucks. He reaches in his back pocket, and at this point the girl he is with yanks him by the arm and says, ‘No, you can’t do that here.’ She was mortified.”

It gets worst (or better?).

As [Cuban] asked one hanger-on to round up some girls, he was overheard saying, “Just say I’m a billionaire. They’ll come over.” He also cracked, “For every billion dollars I have, my [bleep] gets 10 inches longer.”

The last stop of the night for fun-loving Cuban and company was Scores West, where cash is by far the most important credential. We’re told Cuban dropped thousands of dollars on champagne and “funny money” in the VIP room before leaving around 5 a.m.

We fully expected Cuban to have a retort on his blog by now, assuming he knew this was coming last night. But there’s nothing yet. Cubes shouldn’t sweat it – this will all blow over by tomorrow, when a celebrity does something stupid (or Paris Hilton cheats on Matt Leinart).

CLUB SLAM-DUNKS NBA OWNER (New York Post)
Blog Maverick (Cuban’s Blog)