Stuart Scott’s Lame Poetry Jam
Uncategorized October 11th. 2007, 11:49amWell, that didn’t take long. Mister Irrelevant just nabbed what we’ve been waiting for all morning - Stuart Scott getting very “She’s All That” on us last night on Sportscenter. Your emails all morning about this have kept us in stitches, so we’ll shut up now and let you have the floor.
57 Responses to “Stuart Scott’s Lame Poetry Jam”
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October 11th, 2007 at 11:51 am
As I mentioned on MI:
Etan Thomas did not need this in his life right now.
October 11th, 2007 at 11:51 am
Great reference, SVP.
This will be fun.
October 11th, 2007 at 11:52 am
I don’t really watch Sportscenter anymore. What the hell is going on over there? Who greenlights something like this? This goes beyond how Stuey still has a job. Obviously, the problem is higher up, we all knew that, but this, this, this… wow. I got no words.
October 11th, 2007 at 11:57 am
Somebody needs to pitch a poetry-off between Lee Lee Sobieski and Stuart Scott!
October 11th, 2007 at 11:57 am
Not the first StuScott poetry jam on SC, but the first with the artsy camera angles. All we need now is for Stu to be wearing a turtleneck and smoking clove cigs while he freestyles. He’s already got the pretentious-glasses.
Whichever ESPN producer had the idea to let Mr. Booyah get his poetry groove on has now become the official gatekeeper of my own private sports hell.
October 11th, 2007 at 11:57 am
Oh-I forgot to conclude.
Spoken Word.
October 11th, 2007 at 11:58 am
Begs for a Kid-N-Play styled battled between Stu and Scoop.
October 11th, 2007 at 11:59 am
Don’t forget the bongos as well Prof.
October 11th, 2007 at 12:00 pm
“As Stuart Scott speaks
My brain, it
leaks
Blood
from my ears
Yet in all my years
I’ve drank
many beers
Yet never enough
To like
Stuart Scott”
*Raises clenched fist and whispers* “Spoken word”
October 11th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Do black people think this is cool?
October 11th, 2007 at 12:02 pm
That was actually pretty good.
October 11th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
That was fantastic! I can’t wait for Beano’s!
October 11th, 2007 at 12:04 pm
Thank you, Darrell….I actually have no point of reference to even try to critique this….but come on…even if it is good…it belongs on HBO def poetry….sportscenter has gotten ridiculous
October 11th, 2007 at 12:06 pm
And just to clarify, I personally think it was horrible…but poetry jams aren’t exactly my area of expertise
October 11th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
Darrell … you mean Ron’s riff, or Stuart?
Me, I prefer my news straight-forward, not via poetry
October 11th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
“Do black people think this is cool?”
No. Next question.
October 11th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
I’m white, so there’s your caveat, but this is dreadful. Makes me glad I don’t watch SC. I really didn’t think they could ever top the Steve Phillips fake press conferences, but they keep trying. I almost have to respect their efforts. Well, maybe not.
If they’re gonna do this, they should at least bring Charlie Steiner back to “perform” it; there’s no way he could do it without laughing.
October 11th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
did they keep changing camera angles because they were unsure which direction his lazy eye was wandering
October 11th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
Sportscenter has become forced and contrived just like alot of their shows. Forced outrage, forced jockularity (sp) forced wittiness.
October 11th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
Only Saruman knows what Stuart Scott’s eye see.
October 11th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
s
/pluralization
October 11th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
Please god don’t make this a black thing, I woke up this morning and turned on ESPN to get my daily dose of sports, and this was the first thing that was on. I quickly went to the bathroom and took a shit, I said to myself ESPN is a joke. Just give me the effing scores that all, but now you got this one eyed clown actually thinking he can do poetry. Trust me MC Hammer could do Scotts’ job, but it isn’t just Scott its that whole ESPN attitude. Example Jim (fatehead dome) Rome, and everyone hoping Joe Torre gets fired. They all talk about how its going to happen and why. 90% of those fucks couldn’t play baseball, I think I am to the point now where when I watch ESPN now is to bitch about the people on there. I am done with sportscenter if there is not a game on then I won’t watch it. Thanks Stuart Not for your help, freaking sellout. You know all of his hip hop references are really outdated. Gotta go but love peace and Hairgrease. Keeping it real Chillimost
October 11th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
Stuart’s subtle allusions to the tried-and-true iambic pentameter and subtle wafts of alliteration evoke the feeling of John Donne’s epic odes to virginal innocence and how it dies within us all far too soon.
Truly, Mr. Scott has propelled himself in to the cannon of western literature without so much as a prior Cable Ace award to his credit.
Remarkable.
October 11th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
Sportscenter kinda reminds me of MTV. In the beginning both stayed true to their niche and did the job as advertised. But slowly as time has gone by, they both have strayed from their base. MTV doesn’t play videos anymore, and Sportscenter doesn’t do sports news anymore. I find myself watching ESPN News more and more because they actually report on what is going on.
October 11th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
Stu should have left the poetry jams to the experts.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPxPciXcJvc
October 11th, 2007 at 12:28 pm
I didnt think there was anything that could make me hate SC more than the Sklar Brothers and their failed attempts to “make sports relevant” in the rest of society with those effin brackets of theirs.
Thank You Stu Scott. Just when I thought it couldnt get it any worse. You proved me wrong.
October 11th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
and people wonder why i watch the food network more than bspn these days?
i quit watching sportscenter in 2004. i got tired of my intelligence being insulted on a nightly basis.
for the disney crowd to chase away a sports nut like me, man, that;’s some accomplishment. kudos mouse network!
October 11th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
@ August West:
Brilliant!
October 11th, 2007 at 12:42 pm
Am I actually watching this? This isn’t some kind of awful SNL skit? This actually happened?
October 11th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
Sweet Fucking Christ. No wonder I watch ESPNNews now. They get the same information across in 30 minutes that SC gets across in 60 (and sometimes 90) minutes and it’s because of bullshit pieces like that. I get angry just thinking about it. Maybe for their next piece they’ll dress everyone up in costumes and have them re-enact the highlights on stage to music.
October 11th, 2007 at 12:47 pm
Anyone have a gun so I can shoot myself? I’d like the last 2 minutes of my life back please.
October 11th, 2007 at 12:47 pm
“They look at me and see a loser. Except that guy with the lazy eye., he sees a loser and a snack machine.”
October 11th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
is that one-eyed mr. bojangles wearing lipstick? seriously.
October 11th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
pkiguy22,
Not sure how far you go back…but I miss my morning dose of Australian Rules Football…seriously.
October 11th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
Sports Center is so yesterday. I just flip on ESPN News at any point in the day, and after ten minutes I get caught up. The WWL is kinda gettin like MTV — too much style and not enough substance.
October 11th, 2007 at 1:03 pm
Again, this happens the same day the ombudsman is praised for handing it to the network.
I see this shit and I just know they’re never going to listen to anybody but themselves.
October 11th, 2007 at 1:03 pm
the WWL is, in my eyes, irrelevent. one-eyed stu’s antics like above are just a thumbnail sket of why i rarely turn that network on unless it’s a live game (or college gameday).
can site countless examples of why that four-letter network is a joke, but my personal favorite in the past year came one june evening while i’m at the gym. i quit watching baseball tonight when harold reynolds left. even at that time, i only watched it sporadically because, well, i don’t give a damn about the yankees or red sox, thank you.
anyway, baseball tonight was on the tube while i was listening to some sports talk show i had podcasted, so i couldn’t hear the audio. but it was a wednesday night and i clocked about six minutes of coverage (highlights/discussion) on baseball tonight on a yankees-devil rays game.
you mean to tell me THAT was the most important game — in june no less — in the nation that night that it warranted that much coverage/discussion?
i just laughed to myself and told my friend next to me — a cubs fan/transplant from peoria — what a waste of electricity bspn has become.
he agreed.
for baseball highlights i turn to the final score on fox or one of the fox regional channels for team-specific information. for nfl highlights i go to the nfl network or nfl.com (which does a good job of uploading video highlights). for hockey highlights nhl.com has really upgraded itself and even outperforms nfl.com. i strongly recommend that for hockey fans.
the only thing i turn to bspn for is to catch college football information. i’ve stated this before many times, but bspn does solid work with college football. solid if not outstanding. i can’t believe the disney crowd hasn’t corrupted that.
yet.
in the currrent information age we live in, there is no need to rely on bspn for information/torture. anyone who does and gets disgusted with the WWL, well, put the remote down or better yet, turn to another outlet.
with the way the internet has evolved, along with blogs, and with regional tv sports networks and league-specific channels, there is no need at all to turn to the WWL for information.
the WWL dug its own grave. good job disney.
October 11th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
Several years ago, I caught an episode of Dream Job once. Once. What stuck with me from that show was the dude that does the hiring admonishing one of the contenstants by saying “SportsCenter will always be about the content, not the sportscaster.” Job well done.
October 11th, 2007 at 1:11 pm
While Stu is disturbing, what with the geco eyeball, WWJD bracelets and Fab Five Freddy persona, nothing beats the bizarre scene I saw on Tuesday night on the 4 letter.
Was around 7pm and on the split screen were Drew Rosenhaus and Screamin A Smith, it took a minute, but I finally figured out they were debating the impending damnation of the world when Joe Torre loses his job.
It was like watching a foreign film, only there were no subtitles.
October 11th, 2007 at 1:12 pm
So Sportscenter will basically let any of its anchors do whatever they want at any time? What’s next, will John Buchigross delight us with his observational stand-up comedy? Or will Neil Everett juggle torches? Anything not to show hockey highlights. You realize that of the 12 NHL games played last night, Sportscenter showed clips of 3 of them. At this point, you could get more sports coverage from Project Runway.
October 11th, 2007 at 1:16 pm
4 questions
how much longer until they screw up espn news? does stephen a battle stu next? is there a sign up sheet for the anchors? does the omsbudman know about this?
October 11th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
on the split screen were Drew Rosenhaus and Screamin A Smith
OMG!!!! those two could scream through a mute button.
October 11th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
J2B, you may have something there.
Heidi Klum giving the hockey highlights.
Get Bettman on the phone.
October 11th, 2007 at 1:21 pm
You realize that of the 12 NHL games played last night, Sportscenter showed clips of 3 of them.
nhl.com my friend. they give about five minutes of highlights — per game! right now, and im being very objective here (although i do not do the nba nor nascar), nhl.com is providing more video highlights than nfl.com (shamless plug: i like nfl.com. help TBL out and click on the nfl.com ads daily). i’m very impressed with what the nhl is doing with its website.
October 11th, 2007 at 1:21 pm
It’s hockey season? Who cares!
Maybe if the NHL put a team in New York it would get some coverage.
Stupid Canadians. Not the team…
Stupid Canucks. Damnit.
Oh forget it.
October 11th, 2007 at 1:27 pm
I heard a rumor that Scott Van Pelt is debuting the “mix tape” he made for Joe Torre on tonight’s SportsCenter.
October 11th, 2007 at 1:45 pm
let’s see, yahoo! breaks (more) reggie bush news while the WWL regales us with poetry and poker.
phil mushnick hit the nail on the head when he referred to the WWL as an “idiot’s picnic.”
October 11th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
I was a broadcast major in college. Always had my eye on the prize of being on ESPN….I was actually pretty good and did local sports for a dinky ass cable channel while in school for free.
Looking at how ESPN was evolving, I had no desire to try to create a character for myslef and have to look like a putz every night so I threw that dream in the trash. What’s that!??!>…I could have done sports on a local channel? Not for 24k for the first 6 years in Bismarck, ND…..now I sell those little screws that hold the light switch plates on the wall…..thanks for ruining my life espn
October 11th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
Espn has become what the WWE and MTV is all about. Entertainment. Not music, not wrestling, not sports. Entertainment only. Which sucks if you liked what the original was based off of. They are going off the name and fame of the past and shoving down crap to us. If people stop watching or going to there websites, maybe just maybe we will be a better place and get to see the change back in the future!
October 11th, 2007 at 2:04 pm
Espn has become what the WWE and MTV is all about. Entertainment. Not music, not wrestling, not sports. Entertainment only.
you call stu scott entertaining? or that chipmunk neil everett?
October 11th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Good luck with that “entertainment” thing, ESPN.
“The Best Damn Sports Show Period” is almost as credible as “SportsCenter” is as a news source. Congratulations.
October 11th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Fuck sportscenter….I watch ESPN News now….just so I don’t have to hear douchebag stu. Or I hit the web, just so I don’t have to hear some assclown force feed me some producer/network bullshit that doesn’t have anything to do the news.
October 11th, 2007 at 3:03 pm
ESPNews can be very dubious too. I lost respect for them when they had a live, in-studio visit from “Jeffrey Maier: Ten Years Later.”
ESPN is still treating this guy like he’s some kind of folk hero. Good God.
October 11th, 2007 at 7:10 pm
I thought it was actually kind of funny having watched Def Poetry Jam before. If he was trying to be serious, that’s another issue, but I thought he was making fun of the HBO show. I don’t understand why this angers so many people!
October 11th, 2007 at 9:33 pm
Kinda reminds me of when ultra-conservative Dixie Carter had to make a speech espousing liberal ideas on Designing Women. The writers/producers made it up to her by allowing her to sing in an episode later in the season. What did ESPN make Stu do against his will to be allowed to do THAT?
And, yes, I made a Designing Women reference. What of it?
October 11th, 2007 at 9:38 pm
Since when did ESPN start making fun of HBO shows? They are doing comedy skits now?
“Several years ago, I caught an episode of Dream Job once. Once. What stuck with me from that show was the dude that does the hiring admonishing one of the contenstants by saying “SportsCenter will always be about the content, not the sportscaster.€
I remember that well. I remember thinking, WTF are you talking about you little nerd? Chris Berman, Craig Kilborn, Stuart Scott.
I’d like to know what that dork was thinking when he said that.
October 12th, 2007 at 12:13 am
i think david milch wrote that for stu. he dumped out…