Can we stop with the rampant speculation about the Yankees coaching vacancy? It’s a complete waste of time. Here is what will happen: Randy Levine and George’s bumbling sons will meet in Tampa. They will say, ‘you know what, we need to get a puppet in here. Someone we can control. A figurehead.’ Then, they will cross Joe Girardi off the list. Too much of an independent thinker. To much of a pot-stirrer. Or, as the landlord on Seinfeld called Newman, an ‘agitator.’ Which leaves first base coach Tony Pena – hey, he’s a former catcher, he’s well-liked, and he can connect with the Latin players, since we all know they’re taking over the game! – and the people’s choice, Don Mattingly (full disclosure: Our favorite player growing up).

Bring Donnie Baseball in, have Levine pull the strings behind the scenes, and watch this franchise die a slow death. Fun for everyone!

OK, no more Yankees talk until the Red Sox win the World Series and A-Rod packs his bags for Anaheim. (You MUST read this. It’s tremendous.)

Joe Girardi impresses Yankees brass; Don Mattingly next (NY Daily News)