A female friend phoned us Monday, cooing about Tom Brady as if he just discovered absolute zero.

HER: Ooooo, Tom Brady looked so good in his gucci suit at the press conference. I wonder who does his hair.
US: Mike Vrabel? He does everything else. I thought the handkerchief was a bit much.
HER: You know that Tom Brady is the next JFK Jr., right? He’s totally the next John John. Girls couldn’t name four football players but could tell you all the magazine covers he’s been on in the last year.
US: Tom Brady failed the bar exam twice and his dad was president? [Aside: That is the only thing we know about JFK Jr. Like all moms, our mom was a big fan of JFK Jr. She made mention of this bar exam once or twice when we shot 1-for-8 in rec league basketball games and were downtrodden.]
HER: No, jackass. JFK Jr. was the man that everyone woman wanted. Right now, that’s where Tom Brady is. If they go undefeated this season … Backup at Michigan? Sixth round draft pick? Super Bowls and The Supermodel? The dude is dripping in gucci and prada everywhere he goes. He’s a style icon already! (Out of breath)
US: Interesting theory. Dan Marino could have pulled this off if he had won a Super Bowl or dated Kathy Ireland.
HER: Dan Marino had a fuckin’ cameo in Ace Ventura. [Ed. But it was great.] You watch - next Brady will be in movies, and he’s not going to do any lame shit, either.
US: How could you forget his turn as a computer geek in Stuck on You?
HER: You’re annoying me. Bye.

Tom Brady & the Heartbreakers up to their old tricks (Sportaphile)
Brady’s headset KO’d (Boston Herald)
Tom Brady, MVP (Kenneth in the 212)