Here’s how you know you banged too many groupies during your prime - when you don’t know how many kids you have fathered, and your lawyer tells a newspaper, “It’s more than I have and fewer than what Evander Holyfield has,” said Altman, who has two children, compared to 11 for Holyfield. Poor Jason Caffey. What do you think was more difficult - practice with Michael Jordan or outrunning creditors? Another line that might illicit a laugh, and perhaps get you to wear a condom next weekend: “The women listed as creditors in the bankruptcy documents had eight of his children— five boys and three girls between the ages of 3 and 14.”

Ex-NBA player with at least 8 kids files for bankruptcy (AJC)