Bad, bad week to try and pick NFL games. In many cases, nobody has any idea who is starting, or who is suiting up. How many plays will Eli Manning quarterback (if the Giants are smart, less than 10)? What about Peyton Manning? Since the Packers have nothing at stake, does Green Bay go with all reserves? Do the Cowboys? Still, we trudge on because, well, we’ve got nothing better to do, and we would rather shove our fingers in Mo’Nique’s fat rolls than write another post about the Patriots. Shaky picks after the jump. We were 4-for-6 last week.
New England 23, Giants 17 – We are morally obligated to at least spend one sentence on this game, and here it is: the Cheater is an obsessive nutjob, so he’ll keep in his starters long enough to ensure victory (probably the fourth quarter), but the Giants reserves, out of pride, will be eager to keep this one close and so the Pats won’t cover 14.

Cleveland 30, San Francisco 10 – The last three games between the Titans and Colts have been determined by a total of six points. Still, the Colts are at home, and we’ve never thought much of the Titans this season. We think that game will be surprisingly close, and we wouldn’t be surprised if the Colts (now seven-point dogs) won. But the Browns leave nothing to chance, and pound the Chris Weinke-led Niners.

Philadelphia 34, Buffalo 13 – Like the home favorite big here, for no reason other than the Bills have nothing to play after getting worked last weekend at home. Somebody should crunch the numbers on road dogs in Week 17 in which nobody has a damn thing to play for.

Green Bay 24, Detroit 3 – The Lions in snow? Don’t care if Dickie Thon is throwing passes for the Cheeseheads – forget it.

Chicago 17, New Orleans 7 – Dog of the week – Bears at home against the Saints. The smart move is just to take the Bears straight up to win. Because they will, regardless of what Orton is drinking. Another dog we love, regardless of what regulars play – Dallas, giving nine at home against Washington. Ha! Joke!