It’s been a bit of a solemn morning here at The Big Lead, as we attempt to cope with the fact that rod-inducing goddess Marissa Cooper (aka Coop, aka, Mischa Barton) was sadly killed off “The O.C.” last night. We’ve got some beef with the writers who crafted this unnecessary exit: Shannen Doherty wanted out of 90210 in a far worse way, and to this day remains one of the most petulant actresses of the 1990s. Not even she was killed off.

Sure, Rachel Bilson’s (that’s Summer) smoldering good looks and witty rejoinders with Seth can carry the show – as long as Ryan continues to pound every low life the show throws at him – but we’re definitely going to miss Coop. Who’s going to have the lesbian encounters, bed the help, bed the bad boy, abuse drugs, and be held at gunpoint?

Sorry about that. Back to the story at hand: Remember Danny Almonte? He’s married! And still in high school! And 19! And she’s 30!

Bizarre? Yes. Hysterical? Oh yes.

They’re already calling his wife a cradle-robber – she began as his “interpreter” – and we figure that the Datelines and Prime Time Lives of the world are fighting over rights to the exclusive this very moment. (Does Cold Pizza have an outside chance? Probably not.)

What’s that? You don’t know who Danny Almonte is? Surely you remember that in 2001, he was the teenager throwing 70 mile-per-hour gas en route to helping his team capture the Little League World Series title. Of course, Sports Illustrated busted him for shaving two years off his age, the team had to forfeit the title, and Almonte became a national laughingstock.

He’s done it again.

Glove Stuck (New York Daily News)