Hey Boston: Big Papi or Tom Brady?
Baseball, NFL January 31st. 2008, 2:03pm
Sucks to be the post following the epic Berman video, but … a reader asks (we have altered nothing): Could you ask your readers, particularly the Massholes, whom they would save from a burning car fire if they only could pull one person from the wreckage (and the other is sure to perish, all deification/granting of super powers are ineffective here), Tom Brady or Big Papi.
Brady seems to have inspired all sorts of man crush type articles, more than he has in the past, but it’s really not a question that the Red Sox are more popular and Big Papi has that Paul Bunyan legacy up there. I think people will pick Brady, but I’m curious where Boston’s allegiances lie.
A grim topic to debate, but please. Discuss.
34 Responses to “Hey Boston: Big Papi or Tom Brady?”
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January 31st, 2008 at 2:05 pm
probably brady because they are all racists
(ducks head…im only kidding!)
January 31st, 2008 at 2:06 pm
I’m not a Boston sports fan, but I’ll say Big Papi. Seems more affable.
All the news articles after the car fire would say that it was Brady who rescued me.
Oh, and “burning car fire” is redundant.
January 31st, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Papi seems like a stand-up guy, but I’d save Brady just to see if the chicks would still dig him after his face melted like Freddie Krueger’s.
January 31st, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Oh, and “burning car fire†is redundant.
This is why i don’t alter emails.
January 31st, 2008 at 2:10 pm
412, as long as he was still making millions, chicks would look past his Freddy Krueger face.
January 31st, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Why are you running a question from Simmons?
January 31st, 2008 at 2:12 pm
And we HAVE to save one of them? Shit, that is a tough question.
January 31st, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Can we save them both and push the Boston fan in the fire?
January 31st, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Wouldn’t Larry Bird be able to reverse the rotation of the Earth - thus going back in time - and be able to prevent the car fire from happening?
January 31st, 2008 at 2:14 pm
let them all burn to ashes.
January 31st, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Papi’s a Packer fan so I guess he’d get the nod if it were up to me
January 31st, 2008 at 2:19 pm
I wonder how Curt Schilling would answer.
January 31st, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Curt Schilling would answer Curt Schilling
January 31st, 2008 at 2:21 pm
nice car
January 31st, 2008 at 2:21 pm
“I’d piss on them both. F*ck Boston!!!” - D. Jacobson
January 31st, 2008 at 2:26 pm
CJ its okay, you don’t have to edit yourself on TBL.
Clearly it’s Brady because it is less likely that he used HGH or steroids. If Papi dies, he will go down a legend, and no one will bother to investigate him further or tarnish those wonderful Red Sox championships.
January 31st, 2008 at 2:26 pm
I’d save Big Papi. He seems as down to Earth as can be all things considered. And i hate brady.
@lohur: Have you never made a mistake before that you must call out the redundancy?
January 31st, 2008 at 2:27 pm
@benji - I am a mistake. My parents told me so.
January 31st, 2008 at 2:29 pm
The real question that needs to be answered here is what were Big Papi and Tom Brady doing in a car together and why did that car get into an accident? Was Tom Brady going down Big Papi while he was driving?
January 31st, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Its a trick question: Lemmy is God.
January 31st, 2008 at 2:34 pm
My question is - What Would Berman Do, or WWBD?
He’d probably cuss the 7 assholes who caused the fucking fire, save Big Papi because he has more material for his name, then savor the moment over a Diet Coke while cussing God and the terrible fate of Tom Brady.
January 31st, 2008 at 2:35 pm
If that is a Mavs Michael Finley jersey he is wearing, I’m saving Papi for sure…..Mavs all the way.
January 31st, 2008 at 2:40 pm
In a perfect world Derek Jeter would save both and all of Boston would convert to Yankeeism. But I doubt that Boston would ever truly see the folly of their ways.
January 31st, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Jeter could do it, not because of his strength, but because he has the intangibles to save lives.
January 31st, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Could fire hurt Tom Brady? Wasn’t he forged in the fires of Mordor?
January 31st, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Bridget would save Brady just to get the child support..
January 31st, 2008 at 3:32 pm
It wouldnt matter, both would rise from the ashes like a Phoenix.
@Dan-tastic: excellent “Airheads” reference.
January 31st, 2008 at 3:35 pm
I love the Red Sox and baseball more than any sport, though I do hate the Red Sox bandwagon fans lately.
But without a doubt it’s Tom Brady.
Ortiz’s big hits are just as good in many ways, but baseball is largely an opportunity sport when it comes to “clutchness.” You have 1/9th of a chance of being up in that big spot. Ortiz gets points for capitalizing when it counts, but who’s to say Millar, Lugo, or some other joe wouldn’t have had the hit. (Of course, I’d rather have Ortiz up, but you see my point?)
With the Pats, there’s no other quarterback who could do what he’s done. Once. Fluke, perhaps. Twice. Still maybe a flue. Three times? Maybe he’s just good. Not to mention the numerous other times he’s played great in the regular season with offensive weapons that no one even remembers. Sure, QB is largely based on the coach, and Belichick knows offense much better than people think (c.f. The Education of a Coach). And in baseball it’s batter vs. pitcher–no externalities. However, Brady on another team: He would do the same. Put him on the Colts and he puts up Manningesque stats. Put him on the Redskins and he runs the play action to perfection. Put him on the Eagles and he can dink and dunk the West Coast game with the best of them.
January 31st, 2008 at 3:38 pm
can’t they both die
January 31st, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Ted Kennedy is glad it’s not a car at the bottom of a river.
January 31st, 2008 at 4:20 pm
lol at WC …
I wonder who ManRam would send down in flames. I’d save Papi, chiefly because it would give the rest of the NFL a realistic chance to make it to the SuperBowl next season.
January 31st, 2008 at 5:33 pm
post this again on Monday, then we’ll see what happens.
January 31st, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Neither.
Papelbon.
January 31st, 2008 at 6:09 pm
I’m disappointed. Someone above already said it, but that’s a fucking stupidass question straight out of a Bill Simmons mailbag column. I expect more from TBL. I don’t care how popular Boston sports are right now, we don’t need to spend time debating made-up situations about their stars. They’ah both fahckin’ queeahs anyway.