Magic Johnson May Need to Mix in a Salad
NBA March 26th. 2008, 9:44am
Before you drill us in the comments, we’d like to say that he’s our favorite player ever to dribble a basketball. Might even be our favorite athlete in the 20-something years we’ve followed sports. And we maintain that if there were an imaginary NBA draft, and every player in their prime was available, and we had the top pick, we’d go with baloney tits Magic. Your question: Should he get a free pass for having Moobs at 48? Definitely.
90 Responses to “Magic Johnson May Need to Mix in a Salad”
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March 26th, 2008 at 9:48 am
You’re mean today.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:48 am
Does this guy really have HIV?
March 26th, 2008 at 9:48 am
lol. Solid post title.
I just got back from out of town for the past two weeks. Let the UT apprehensive trash talking begin.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:50 am
Wow, TBL. A little harsh, no? It’s not like he’s terribly fat.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:50 am
Maybe some of the innumerable drugs he has to take each day makes you gain weight?
March 26th, 2008 at 9:51 am
Baloney Tits???? great call.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:51 am
Dude’s worth $800 million. He can eat whatever he wants.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:52 am
Maybe some of the innumerable drugs he has to take each day makes you gain weight?
I would imagine they impact his energy to workout at a minimum. Hell at 48 with his money, I might not hit the treadmill every day. I vote Harsh.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:52 am
Dr’s. say I might have a little bit of a weight problem!!!
March 26th, 2008 at 9:53 am
jb49ers, South Park’s episode a few weeks ago joked that he didn’t have it anymore because he has MUCH CASH and that it has helped cure him…
March 26th, 2008 at 9:53 am
I wonder if his milkshakes bring any ahhhh……nevermind……
March 26th, 2008 at 9:54 am
+1 nwilson26
March 26th, 2008 at 9:54 am
Magic Johnson paid off AIDS. Although that reads like a Chuck Norris fact- this one is actually true.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:56 am
Every extra pound helps repelnish the T cells…that and Movie Theater Money…
March 26th, 2008 at 9:56 am
@danny AIDS took a bribe?
March 26th, 2008 at 9:56 am
Magic Johnson has a normal bedroom just like everyone else, but he doesn’t trust banks.
March 26th, 2008 at 9:59 am
Honestly..If I was 6′9 48 years old with 100’s of millions of dollars and had HIV I would not have a problem with that body…hell I am none of those things..and I don’t have a problem with it…more to love bitches.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:01 am
man, if i was magic johnson…i’d get all sorts of ass.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:01 am
good for him. working out is so over rated. if he didn’t have the HIV he would still be bringing in all the ladies.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:05 am
where is Dave Winfield?
March 26th, 2008 at 10:07 am
I wonder if dude still gets laid? Does he still get crumbs from Cookie?
March 26th, 2008 at 10:08 am
Honestly, when I heard the news in ‘91(?) that he had The AIDS I thought for sure he’d be dead by now.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:10 am
Nobody going to make the AIDSburger in Paradise joke?
March 26th, 2008 at 10:10 am
Let’s remember something TBL, ahem, retard. Most HIV-AIDS patients end up wasting away into withering, gay skeletons before they die. Magic’s really bucking the odds on this one. Almost to the point where you would be proud of that much weight gain.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:11 am
Roethlishotdog…im not just positive, im HIV positive nobody is going ot make that joke.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:12 am
Looks OK to me for 48?
I think you can rule out HGH. Stallone looks like a freak. Magic at least looks natural.
And, Magic still rules….(except for “The Magic Hour”)
March 26th, 2008 at 10:13 am
Am I the only person who noticed TBL would pick Magic as their number one over all?! OVER MICHAEL JORDAN?!
March 26th, 2008 at 10:14 am
He’s still got the delts, so he gets a pass.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:14 am
personally, i’d take george mikan.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:16 am
sports gal, irish noticed, but his #1 pick would’ve been Dwight Howard.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:18 am
Roethlisdog, I said it twice.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:19 am
Magic Johnsonn needs to get Fitness Made Simple. This helps build the bi’s, tri’s, the shoulders, and even the abs.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:24 am
basedow’s fitness made simple > chuck norris’ total gym
March 26th, 2008 at 10:26 am
sportsgal…Magic was an awesome athlete…the guy could start all 5 positions on the floor…MJ could not…I am not knocking MJ’s greatness…he was unbelievable…but its not like he picked Sherman Douglass or anything…oops
March 26th, 2008 at 10:28 am
basedow’s finess made simple > body by jake > chuck norris’ total gym
March 26th, 2008 at 10:29 am
basedow died in the tsunami
March 26th, 2008 at 10:29 am
Obviously Larry Legend would be #1 pick.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:31 am
RWH, I want a poll question. I’d like to see how many people would pick Magic over Michael Jordan. I don’t care if MJ couldn’t play center, he’s still the greatest basketball player to ever play the game. I’m not knocking Magic, what kid didn’t love Magic in the 80’s? But we’re talking Michael Freaking Jordan here.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:31 am
or Sam Bowie
March 26th, 2008 at 10:31 am
mmonast…is that true? basedow is dead? LONG LIVE THE BASEDOW!!!
March 26th, 2008 at 10:32 am
fixed for my own amusement.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:33 am
lol it was a rumor after the tsunami, there was a website for people to post missing peoples ads for those lost in the tsunami…someone put one up for johnny and the comments were absolutely hilarious…pretty sure it was a hoax though but a damn funny one…im looking for the website now but doubt it still exists
March 26th, 2008 at 10:34 am
MJ beats Bird, beats Dr. J, beats Magic, beats Chamberlain, beats Kareem… need I go on?
March 26th, 2008 at 10:34 am
Basedow is alive..he was on Boomer and Carton last week…Magic is a PG and was a great player…I love MJ..but it is not inconceivable to pick him 1st…he is the type of guy all these great scorers are looking for to make their team better…including Lebron..who can play like Magic but is more valuable as a scorer
March 26th, 2008 at 10:34 am
I thought I heard that Basedow thing was a myth and that he is alive and well with his peanut head.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:34 am
whats with sportgal and all the Freakings? Can’t she say fuck?
/Larry David
March 26th, 2008 at 10:36 am
that would be awesome if you could find that link. Doesn’t he have major cocaine/alcohol issues? there is a bunch of videos on youtube of him talking about his addictions of various talk shows.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:36 am
I’d go with MJ first for the sole purpose of not having to deal with anger and fuck you he’s gonna give you for having the nerve to take someone else first, but it doesn’t hurt that he’s the GOAT.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:38 am
Sportsgal..MJ also dominated in a downtime in the NBA..was he great yes..he was great..but Magic won 3 times over better competition at his best..Bird won 3 times over better competition you can put Centers in the mix…they are a different breed..the it’s Micheal Fucking Jordan argument needs to be exemplified a little more for me to take it as is.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:38 am
Magic does like to toss some salads
March 26th, 2008 at 10:38 am
can’t put centers
March 26th, 2008 at 10:38 am
ill do the best i can…the message board had some of the funniest posts ever..pure hate for a guy that people thought was dead
March 26th, 2008 at 10:39 am
John Basedown still missing
March 26th, 2008 at 10:42 am
lol nice benji…but the site im talking about was used for people who feared they lost family/friends and it was a way to put a pic up in case they were found
on the basedow page people just filled it up with some seriously funny stuff
March 26th, 2008 at 10:42 am
mmonast, that is not the message board you are talking about, but it may have actually started as a serious missing persons report.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:44 am
Freaking benji, this is a serious “Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player ever” discussion, I can’t be throwing in the word “fuck” every two seconds, it will ruin my credibility (that is, if it hasn’t already been ruined by me admitting to a threesome and knowing the definition of blumpkin, dsl and dirty sanchez)!
March 26th, 2008 at 10:46 am
update guys, sadly i think i found the links but they arent active anymore
March 26th, 2008 at 10:46 am
sportgal…threesome = instant credibility….It means I will listen to everything you say..everything…with the hopes of finding out details of said threesome
March 26th, 2008 at 10:48 am
whats a blumpkin again? i forgot, but i remember it being really funny.
MJ couldnt hold a candle to RASHO NESTEROVIC.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:50 am
Spence, I know the definition, but I can’t write it, it’s so disgusting… if this helps jog your memory, the blumpkin was brought up in the thread about the chick who sat on a toilet for 2 years.
RWH, you will listen to AND agree with everything I say!
March 26th, 2008 at 10:50 am
Specner…its a blowjob while you are taking a dump…
March 26th, 2008 at 10:51 am
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
how could i forget that?
March 26th, 2008 at 10:51 am
sportsgal, i agree that swearing to prove an argument pretty much does the opposite by decreasing credability. i was just quoting a curb your enthusism where LD argues with this guy and uses “freaking” instead of “fucking.” LD calls him out and its pretty funny.
mmonast, good effort. the good news is is that he has been found.
RWH, should read hopes of seeing photos from said threesome since she already admitted she doesn’t like MFM groupsex.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:52 am
Anyone see the Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav? The worst/best/worst joke of the night went something like:
Flavor Flav looks like Magic Johnson should look.
/cringe
March 26th, 2008 at 10:53 am
atta girl…sportsgal…atta girl
March 26th, 2008 at 10:53 am
Hef…that’s pretty brutal.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:57 am
Your mom is brutal. Hey-yooooooo.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:58 am
i hope im not the only one that laughed at that joke hef…
March 26th, 2008 at 10:58 am
BTW, has there been any internet consensus on the proper spelling of the Ed McMahan response (hi-yo)? I don’t want to do an impression of a wolf
March 26th, 2008 at 10:59 am
go jump on a knife.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:59 am
i always go with HI-YO!!!!
March 26th, 2008 at 11:00 am
@mmonast: I laughed the first time, then I cried, then I laughed again. Then I made a sandwich.
March 26th, 2008 at 11:00 am
Why a knife? Won’t it hurt?
March 26th, 2008 at 11:01 am
It’s not hey-ooooh?
March 26th, 2008 at 11:16 am
@sportsgal: maybe? Shouldn’t there be an internet regulator for some of our most honest/important queries?
March 26th, 2008 at 11:35 am
I love Magic, but I’d probably take Jordan too.
I say “probably” because the sheer agony of agreeing with the relentless homers of Chicago fandom makes me feel physically ill, and might be enough to push me toward taking Russell or Kareem or maybe Mookie Blaylock instead.
March 26th, 2008 at 11:40 am
I think hey-ooooooh doesn’t work. When someone type ‘ooooooooooh’ I think it rhymes with ‘ewwwwwwww’ and doesn’t work.
I think an acceptable McMahon spelling would be “Hey-O!” because it gives the proper sound to the ‘O’ part of it.
March 26th, 2008 at 11:41 am
His boobs aren’t frowning as much as Berman’s were
March 26th, 2008 at 11:44 am
Ben, are you going to change your zip on your name, or are you going to stick with the Chicago one?
March 26th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Knick fans would pay big money for Magic fly to NYC right now and give Zeke a big ‘ol kiss (w/ bloody lip).
March 26th, 2008 at 11:48 am
re: Magic/Jordan logic …
There is none. Personal preference. This is another subjective argument that will never be solved.
March 26th, 2008 at 11:50 am
TBL, I solved the argument for you, it’s definitely Jordan over Magic. ha ha!
March 26th, 2008 at 11:59 am
I think Hey-O! (with exclamation point) works. Let the news spring forth throughout the interweb.
March 26th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
TBL owes us big time after posting these Magic Johnson godzilla biscuits. Better have TBL2, 3, 4 (and TBL Voom) working on lining up some prime wags for the afternoon round-up.
March 26th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Conspiracy theorists speculate that David Stern came up with the Magic-AIDS story after secretly suspending Magic for gambling.
March 26th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
sportsgal you should give those pics to tbl so he can do a post.
March 26th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Salad?? The guy has Aids!
Who wouldnt eat anything they wanted if they had a death sentence?
March 26th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Magic over Michael
It’s his versatility that puts him above MJ.
March 26th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Come on Spartan, we all know why you’re picking Magic over MJ. I’m surprised you didn’t pick Mateen over MJ.
By the way, I like State, so I’m not giving MSU any crap.
March 27th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
If he’s your favorite player, you don’t show pics like that. The man hasn’t played hoops since 1996. What do you expect? Pricks.