The Roundup: Play Ball!
Uncategorized March 31st. 2008, 8:30am
Good Morning, TBL is off investigating the true cause of Kaz Matsui’s injury today, so this is Derrick Eckardt from RotoNation taking you through the day. If you have any tips, or just feel the need to email me, you can reach me at derrick@rotonation.com. It’s Opening Day, the Final Four is set, and the Culture Bracket picks back up today, so there’s going to be plenty for you to check out. In the meantime, here’s Hayden just hoping you don’t come down with a case of the Mondays.
Agent Zero doesn’t need all those zeros at the end of his paycheck. (Washington Post)
German engineering: Drink beer and fight cancer at the same time. (National Pub Crawl)
The debate has been settled, here are the Top 50 hottest student bodies in the country. It’s all about the Pac-10. (PopCrunch)
Teddy Roosevelt stopped for a chat with a couple of Braves last night. (Let Teddy Win)
John Calipari calls out UCLA and says they suck, sort of. (Gutty Little Bruins)
Obama goes three for four with his NCAA bracket Final Four (BarackObama.com)
Scientists ruin another thing. Apparently, Dimaggio’s 56-game hitting streak isn’t all that hard to do. (NY Times)
132 Responses to “The Roundup: Play Ball!”
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March 31st, 2008 at 8:35 am
3 hrs to go for work then its off to opening day…
March 31st, 2008 at 8:40 am
The Pirates are zero games back as of this writing. Gotta love opening day.
March 31st, 2008 at 8:40 am
i have a serious case of the Mondays today.
wish i was at the Jake for opening day.
March 31st, 2008 at 8:46 am
this chick needs a sex tape to boost her image
March 31st, 2008 at 8:50 am
Spencer, don’t you mean Progressive Field?
I also have a serious case of the Monday’s. Opening day should be a national holiday and everyone should get off work for it. Go Brewers!!!
March 31st, 2008 at 8:51 am
So when are we ditching to go to Chatzki’s or Flingers for coffee…
March 31st, 2008 at 8:53 am
benji – I picked up Bill Hall to be a back-up OF/3B. Think he’s going to rebound this year?
March 31st, 2008 at 8:54 am
oh yea, sorry.
March 31st, 2008 at 8:55 am
So can I get you gentlemen something more to drink? Or maybe something to nibble on? Some Pizza Shooters, Shrimp Poppers, or Extreme Fajitas?
March 31st, 2008 at 8:59 am
412, Just coffee.
I certainly hope Bill Hall will have a bounce back year. I would say he should. He said the move to the outfield was difficult for him and it affected his offense. He is now back in the infield so i would think he is prime to have a good year. Plus, the OF/3B versatility is nice.
March 31st, 2008 at 8:59 am
nothing is quite as nice as some extreme fajitas at 9-10 AM.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:00 am
Haydens arms look chubby and her hands look stubby… similar to that of a carney! But she is still a goddess with an *
March 31st, 2008 at 9:02 am
I’m making sure that I have the required pieces of flare before starting work…
March 31st, 2008 at 9:04 am
Is it too early in the morning to make the reference to Mantle’s quote about women with small hands (from “*61″)?
March 31st, 2008 at 9:05 am
I’m going to have to go along with irish on this one.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:05 am
@guinnessgirl – do you just want to do the required pieces? Personally, I have 37 pieces of flare on today
March 31st, 2008 at 9:10 am
Yea, well at least I didn’t sleep with Lumbergh!
March 31st, 2008 at 9:15 am
im about to flip out on half my office. how the hell can people talk so much at 9:13 on a monday morning? and why do they have to talk so fucking loud? seriously?
hey assholes, you didn’t do shit this weekend. you sat around with your fiancee, who thinks your a fat bitch btw, and watched stupid movies. fucking great, don’t wanna hear about it. yes, ive seen Remember the Titans too, and you know what? it wasnt that great. so shut up, read your fucking internet articles and stop talking or ill cut your vocal cords. sweet sassy molassy i need a day off.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:16 am
fox 8 news here has already started calling it “the prog”
March 31st, 2008 at 9:18 am
spencer nice work lol
March 31st, 2008 at 9:18 am
mmonast…it’ll always be the jake. tho, as a prog rock fan, i dont mind that at all. ill just listen to king crimson and Yes on my way there and all will be right.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:21 am
Woohoo, the Pirates are tied for 1st.
I picked up Carlos Guillen off the waiver wire in our TBL league. Damn, why aren’t we playing for money?
March 31st, 2008 at 9:24 am
is carlos guillen only 1b eligible since the renteria trade?
March 31st, 2008 at 9:26 am
It’s reading things like that from spencer that make me so damn thankful that i work with one other person in my office and he happens to be one of my good friends. There is nothing worse than coming to work and hearing about shit you could care less about from people you don’t like. I don’t get paid enough to put up with that crap.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:27 am
Oh, and the Cardinals are tied for first wtih the Pirates.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:29 am
Who’s up for some Tollbooth Willy in honor of having seen that hottest coeds list 4 times now on this site (no offense rotonation):
Ahem,
I already heard that one you fucking unoriginal bastard. Eat shit. Eat my shit.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:29 am
@arkbadger – I suspect the Cardinals will spend a lot of time tied with the Pirates this season – for last.
I’m definitely ready to get the season started in Cincy.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:30 am
I’m coming out of the booooooth-a.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:36 am
He’s still eligible at SS this season.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:38 am
You guys see the Sportscenter MLB picks last night? Three guys picking the Cubs to make the World Series and Kruk thinks they will win it. They are fucked.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:42 am
@Whodey – until the Reds prove anything on the field, I refuse to accept that a team that looks at Adam Dunn to be one of their leaders will be decent at all. But hey, you do have Dusty Baker as a manager, that worked out so well for the Cubs…
March 31st, 2008 at 9:43 am
@hef – no offense taken. I couldn’t believe it hadn’t been covered before, and clearly I was wrong. I really just wanted some more pub for my alma mater (#2). And having partied at the number #1 school(ASU), it’s all true.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:45 am
@rotonation: As an ASU grad myself, I love seeing that list everyday. Plus, it gave me an excuse to do my best Adam Sandler impression from 1992.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:48 am
That list is a joke. All they did was a Google image search of major conference schools. The Top 20 or so is valid, but 20-50 has plenty of questions.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:49 am
Let’s go devils, clap clap clap clap clap, let’s go devils….
March 31st, 2008 at 9:57 am
@Diesel – That sounds pretty scientific to me…
March 31st, 2008 at 9:57 am
@spence, it looks like you spread your foul mood to everyone. I know it’s early but it’s opening fucking day, show a little cheer. I for one have started swearing more and fidgeting like a 12 year old in my seat. I’m cutting out of work early to watch the AZ dbags take on the Cinncinnatti Commies at my local drinking establishment. I told my boss not to send out a search party if I’m gone for four hours.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:58 am
the inanity continues in my office. imagine sitting in a conference room with your female boss and 4 other female coworkers talking about a purse party they had over the weekend. what the hell is a big button coach? sounds like brian billick to me, but i guess im wrong.
im going to chatzkis.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:59 am
Wait, debunking Joe DiMaggio’s 56-game hitting streak is part of the “Vast Liberal Conspiracy” too? Is nothing sacred?
March 31st, 2008 at 9:59 am
Hef…im sorry, the people in my office just need to die.
it’s been a total Office Space morning today.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:59 am
The Nazis had pieces of flair. They made the Jews wear them.
March 31st, 2008 at 10:00 am
@spence: I’ll give you a pass, but perk up man. Baseball starts today. How has that not sunk in yet? Are you retarded or what?
March 31st, 2008 at 10:01 am
oh dude, believe me, im juiced. considering taking some laxatives and shitting myself so i can get home in time to watch the 3:05 first pitch.
March 31st, 2008 at 10:03 am
You follow the Injun’s yeah? Not the Reds?
March 31st, 2008 at 10:03 am
yea, Tribe all the way.
March 31st, 2008 at 10:07 am
How about we just start calling it The Mars Volta?
Also, that “scientific” study is pretty flawed. They used the most simplistic possible method to determine his chances of getting a hit. I mean, you have to account for the fact that sometime you’re going to run into a super pitcher which would reduce your chance of a hit from 81% for that game to like 30% (just randomly tossing out that last one). That would severely affect the statistical analysis.
In conclusion, SABRE-metrics are awesome, bullshit science is not.
March 31st, 2008 at 10:08 am
Spencer is in a foul mood on opening day and his team is actually worth a shit (as opposed to my Pirates). The Indians are my pick to win it all this season and, for what it’s worth, I’ve been right about 75% of the time with that pick over the course of my life. I probably should be placing $ on this sort of thing…
March 31st, 2008 at 10:12 am
Indians are getting 10-1 odds right now in Vegas 412. Pirates are getting 100-1 odds. You could go with the smart bet, or make a value bet there to really reach for it.
March 31st, 2008 at 10:15 am
Spencer..I am feeling you…I am out of here early to go home and watch Johan pitch on TV…that Times article is asinine..take you stats and shove them straight up your ass…you know why I know Joe D’s streak is tough to do..because He is the only one who has done…the closest guy was 12 games short…so take you coin flipping and try doing it with the media and fans all over you…fuck statistical analysis…use some common sense…now off to try an do 8 hours worth of “work” in to 5.
March 31st, 2008 at 10:18 am
How pathetic is it that I still have posted on my wall the standings from 4-25-07 when the Rays were 9-11 and the Yankees were 8-11…
March 31st, 2008 at 10:18 am
As an Orioles fan all Opening Day means is six months of torture has commenced.
March 31st, 2008 at 10:20 am
@spencer: Boy, if you’re pissed now, wait until the White Sox roll 7-3 today. Opening Day Fucking Rocks!
March 31st, 2008 at 10:22 am
ben…the white sox are a plague on the american league. they shouldve been contracted back when shoeless joe played. how anyone could root for a team led by kenny williams and ozzie g is beyond me, id say i hope they all get syphillis and cholera, but they probably all already have it, so it’d be pointless.
PUT IT ON THE BOARD…YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
March 31st, 2008 at 10:25 am
@spencer: shocking that an Indians fan would resort to petty name-calling and insults. P.S. – You are a stupidhead and C.C. eats cock for lunch.
March 31st, 2008 at 10:29 am
Just WTF is going on with the teachers down in Tampa?
By the way, the first one on the left looks like every female teacher I had in high school. And, despite the fact I was dating Rosie Palms and her five sisters at the time I would have passed.
March 31st, 2008 at 10:29 am
Ben…oh come on, we all know CC eats fried duck and donut sandwiches for lunch.
i really have no hate for the white sox other than that awful HR call. now the tigers and twins? thats a different story.
March 31st, 2008 at 10:33 am
With Jay Bruce in the minors and Joey Votto riding the pine, Crusty Baker is already my choice for NL Manager of the Year.
Oh yeah, go Reds! Edison Volquez ‘08 Cy Young!
March 31st, 2008 at 10:37 am
How could you hate something as pathetic as the white sox? More effort than it’s worth.
March 31st, 2008 at 10:50 am
@Hef: Who is your team? I need to know where to send some shit sandwiches.
@spencer: I fucking hate the Twins. I want to smash Gardenhire’s face with a bat.
March 31st, 2008 at 10:50 am
Opening day in my neighborhood, the weather is a balmy 47 degrees. It’s also doing that fun misting thing which is so fun to stand in while waiting for the shitty CTA. Why the F did MLB decide to do Brewers/Cubs opening day in Chicago instead of in Milwaukee where they have a friggin dome?
Corporate accounts payable Nina speaking! Just a moment!
March 31st, 2008 at 10:52 am
Cubs suck!
I told those fudgepackers I like Michael Bolton’s music.
Oh, Michael, that’s not right.
March 31st, 2008 at 10:54 am
This is standard Cubs home opener weather. Agree with the scheduling, it is ridiculous. All the guys in my office with tickets are pissed off.
March 31st, 2008 at 10:54 am
Ben…it’s not just gardenhire, who is baseball’s version of holmgren (i.e. walrusy and arrogantly obnoxious), it’s the whole organization. pohlad makes SO MUCH MONEY and refuses to spend a dime. the dome is an absolute joke, it looks like they just threw tarps over their walls, because thats probably what they did in actuality. their uniforms are just atrocious, they’d look fine on a bar-sponsored softball team, but this is the MLB, at least try to look classy.
can’t stand them, and good thing santana is gone, it’s only a matter of time before liriano jets too. the sad part is i like morneau and mauer, but when the rest of the team is a bunch of assholes like nick punto and lew ford, then fuck them, they deserve their shitty fate. id rather see the royals suceed than see the twins win 3rd again this year.
March 31st, 2008 at 10:55 am
thank you, i was trying to remember that all morning.
March 31st, 2008 at 10:58 am
i’m kinda glad that the game today is in chicago because i would be out tailgating in this shitty weather if it was in Milwaukee. Although, Friday probably won’t be any better. One thing i am a little worried about is having Ben Sheets pitching in this weather. They shouldn’t let Mr. Injury himself out unless the temp is 75 or higher. i could see him going out there and tightening up after coming out to pitch the second. Oh, just please don’t let him tear anything.
March 31st, 2008 at 11:00 am
@Ben – no one cares enough about the White Sox to be insulted by your “Cubs suck” taunting!
@spencer – you’re welcome. And Coach knock-off button purses are all the rage right now.
March 31st, 2008 at 11:05 am
Which is why I would rather spend a ridiculous amount of money on a real one
March 31st, 2008 at 11:05 am
sportsgal…really? thats some funny shit. this dumb bitch (pardon my french, but im sure youd think the same if you met her in person…seriously, her existence adds no value to society) in my office who ive known since grade school spend $260 on knockoff shit at this ‘purse party.’ maybe i dont get it but…i could think of some better ways to spend my money.
March 31st, 2008 at 11:09 am
@sportsgal: How are you planning on celebrating the centennial?
March 31st, 2008 at 11:10 am
Hey Ben, go to hell!
March 31st, 2008 at 11:10 am
She is pretty stupid to spend 260 for a knockoff when you can get real ones cheaper…
March 31st, 2008 at 11:14 am
guinnessgirl…it was 260 total, she bought like 8 different things. she’s just stupid in general. and ive heard her tell the story the EXACT SAME WAY 5 separate times now.
im this close to turning the coffee machine into a weapon of unfathomable killing and leaving early for the day.
March 31st, 2008 at 11:22 am
Spencer, deep breaths buddy, breathe in…….breathe out.
March 31st, 2008 at 11:23 am
@guinness – I’m with you, what’s the point of dropping $80 on a knockoff that falls apart in a month. I buy the real stuff, and I’m sure every guy on here would freak if they knew how much I spent on designer hand bags. Whatever, it’s my money, I can buy what I want!
@ben – I’ll be celebrating by counting the number of ugly chicks filing into the Cell for White Sox games.
March 31st, 2008 at 11:34 am
just like the 2 females on here would freak if they knew what i spent on golf and weed.
March 31st, 2008 at 11:39 am
God I love baseball shit talking.
@sportsgal: As your last shot has nothing to do with recent championships or the product on the field, it seems like a perfectly rational argument for a Cubs fan to make.
March 31st, 2008 at 11:47 am
@Ben – again, aside from the 30 or so White Sox fans, no one cares about your team. It doesn’t matter how many championships you win (2 in the past 100 years, great job!), your team is less popular than the Chicago Fire. Hate all you want, say whatever you want about the Cubs being a crappy team, I could care less. And let me know when you get back into town, we’ll make out. Ha ha!
March 31st, 2008 at 11:57 am
I like to relate White Sox fans to Purdue fans. They both feel so vastly inferior that all they do is bitch about it. I’ve been to 3 non-Cubs games at the Cell and every time I have been in the bathroom all the WT Sox fans can talk about it is the Cubs.
“Cubs suck!”
“We might be losing but hey at least the Cubs lost today!”
“Ozzie rules, Piniella blows!”
March 31st, 2008 at 12:02 pm
We can be as unpopular as a shit popsicile, I don’t care. I’m not a White Sox fan to be popular, which is apparently the only thing the Cubs fans have in response to a discussion concerning actual baseball. Oh yeah? Well we’re more popular! Congratulations.
March 31st, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Ben, you’ve won ONE championship in the past 75 years. It’s not like you’re rooting for a baseball powerhouse! Everything in life is a popularity contest, that’s why you have such a baseball inferiority complex, and it’s the reason why Cubs fans don’t care what White Sox fans say about them. I’ll take whatever shit talking you throw out about my team… at the end of the day I’m still going to watch the Cubs play baseball, and I’m going to have a better time after the game’s over regardless of the outcome.
March 31st, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Being a cubs fan is definitely something that white people like.
March 31st, 2008 at 12:32 pm
@sportsgal: I don’t care how many title the White sox have, they’re my team and I’ll root for them until I’m dead. I can’t believe you’re shallow enough to think everything in life is a popularity contest, although that does conform to Cubs fans stereotypes.
The fun after game is over is not even a question. I think baseball fans anywhere would be hard pressed to find a better scene for post-game good times than the area around Wrigley.
March 31st, 2008 at 1:13 pm
ben, I say the same thing about the Cubs – I don’t care how many titles they (don’t) have, I will always be a Cubs fan. Some of my favorite memories of my childhood involve the Cubs…
I’m not shallow because I think life is a popularity contest, I just live in reality.
March 31st, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Wait, so life is or is not a popularity contest? I need this ironed out quick because it drastically affects the way I start behaving on these boards.
March 31st, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Life was a popularity contest when I wont student council treasurer in middle school, and it was a popularity contest in high school when I didn’t run for anything.
March 31st, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Hef, life IS a popularity contest… you’re gonna have some major sucking up to do!!
March 31st, 2008 at 1:22 pm
That’s unfortunate you think that way (the popularity thing, not the Cubs thing) because life isn’t a popularity contest. Granted, if you have common sense, half a brain, and treat people decently, you’ll succeed (and probably popular) but the people that try to be popular for the sake of popularity should be punched in the back of the head.
March 31st, 2008 at 1:27 pm
@Ben: the cubs thing is also unfortunate. The white sox aren’t the only shitty thing in Chicago. Ya burnt!
March 31st, 2008 at 1:32 pm
I’m not someone who is trying to be popular because I’m desperate for people to like me. In fact, aside from my designer bag addiction, I’m one of the least shallow people I know. But you can’t tell me people get promotions or jobs over other candidates just because they treat people nicely. Hell, some college just did a study that showed better looking people have an easier time getting jobs and raises than those who are unattractive!
March 31st, 2008 at 1:35 pm
I love these colleges that do study’s on the most obvious things.
March 31st, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Is attractive the same as popular? I’m having trouble understanding your premise because you’re switching up terms all the time. Also, based on this post, what does liking a certain baseball team have to do with getting ahead in life?
March 31st, 2008 at 1:39 pm
@cbh: I just did a study that finds that women consuming alcoholic beverages increases my chances of getting laid.
March 31st, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Hef, well I’ll be damned. I did a study that found that smoking marijuana increases a person’s hunger.
March 31st, 2008 at 1:47 pm
If with Hef on this one, why change the basis? To use your promotion analogy, but going with the nice (and thereby popular) guy…two people who have more or less the same technical performance review but one is an asshat and one is a nice guy. Who gets the promotion?
March 31st, 2008 at 1:48 pm
I recently completed a study that concluded bullshitting on TBL is more appealing than work. Who knew?
March 31st, 2008 at 1:52 pm
ben…your study is backed up by my independent research.
March 31st, 2008 at 1:54 pm
I was working on the assumption that pretty people = popular people. I didn’t realize I had to create a thesis to back up my “life is a popularity contest” statement! Can we please just go back to arguing Cubs vs White Sox?
March 31st, 2008 at 1:58 pm
@sportsgal: both suck. Argument over. Back to work.
March 31st, 2008 at 1:59 pm
@spence & cbh: I just got a grant from a charitable foundation to pursue further investigation into that matter myself.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:01 pm
@spencer: It’s always good to have multiple and independent review cycles to ensure accuracy. I thank you.
@sportsgal: Your assumption is flawed. There are many popular people that are not attractive, and vice versa.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:08 pm
This conversation is more ridiculous than my actual job, I’m sorry I even brought it up.
I think I’m going to head over to Wrigleyville so I can get drunk and partake in some fellatio.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:09 pm
so cubs games are like 8th grade parties?
March 31st, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Sportsgal, 412 is not impressed.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:12 pm
You got a blow job in 8th grade?!
March 31st, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Don’t act like you weren’t there Sportsgal.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Ha ha ha ha!!! I guess I blacked out, Hef…
March 31st, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Please see my earlier comment about alcohol and chicks.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:17 pm
yes, i remember it fondly, well not fondly because it was a horrible horrible experience.
it was the 3rd time i got drunk, and we were drinking peach schnapps and eating nachos. me and this grade-school-slutty chick, with some beastly braces, left the rest of our friends and 30 seconds later, rejoined them. then i had a lovely 2 year period where i could barely even talk to a chick because the experience was so awful. fortunately, there wasnt any permanent physical scarring…my psyche? that’s a different story.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:20 pm
They don’t call it a JOB for nothing…
March 31st, 2008 at 2:21 pm
seriously, spence, were you that drunk that you didn’t consider the consequences of braces and skin..
March 31st, 2008 at 2:23 pm
I think a good rule of thumb is you shouldn’t give/receive BJs if the person performing the act is wearing braces.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:24 pm
pardon my ignorance. i was 13, cut me some slack.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Damn that means Brett Favre was screwed for a while.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:29 pm
brett favre didnt give a shit either way. he’d just pop some Vico’s and let the healing process take over.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:31 pm
what are you talking about now? blow jobs and vicodin
March 31st, 2008 at 2:33 pm
beats working.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:34 pm
well, we were just talking about bjs but somehow vicodin got added to the mix.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:34 pm
This isn’t the first time on this board.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:36 pm
brett favre came up.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:38 pm
What’s it called when a girl gives you a blow job, while you are either snorting or chewing Vicodin?
March 31st, 2008 at 2:39 pm
i have no idea, but would love it if someone knew.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:40 pm
A number hummer?
March 31st, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Is that how you spell numb – er ?
March 31st, 2008 at 2:42 pm
probably. i agree tho, whenever ive fooled around after taking vicodin, or on VERY rare occasions Oxy, i never enjoy it and it takes me fuckin days till the big squirt.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:43 pm
That’s how you spell number like 1,2,3,4 etc…
March 31st, 2008 at 2:47 pm
@Hef and @Roeth: It’s both.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Spence, you are one wild and craaaaazzy guy!
March 31st, 2008 at 2:49 pm
hardly. my advanced age has calmed me down.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:50 pm
@spencer- how was the new piece?
March 31st, 2008 at 2:53 pm
irish…FUCKIN AWESOME. the bowl must be able to hold at least a gram. still miss my bong, but it’s a good substitute thats fo sho.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:56 pm
invest in a vaporizer spencer, im telling ya. When you get that Tax Stimulus check, go buy one. fuck groceries
March 31st, 2008 at 2:58 pm
ive been considering a volcano, or similar product. i like em a lot, but ive always been partial to water filtering devices.
and hell yea, i forgot about the tax stimulus check. every tax return ive recieved since 2003 has mostly gone towards weed. i hope the govt is happy with that.