PSU Athlete Masturbating in the Library?
College Basketball, Courts, Legal, Jacking off April 3rd. 2008, 8:54am
In college, the library is actually a decent place to meet women – don’t act like you never used Kramer’s line: “What does a guy gotta do around here to get a library card,” knowing full well that you don’t need one. The cute librarian will laugh – because she’s obviously never heard that line – and you might score some digits. According to the Penn State school paper, The Daily Collegian, Penn State point guard Stanley Pringle allegedly prefers a much more subtle approach: Masturbation in the stacks.
Police said Pringle, the team’s point guard, sat behind the victim in the stacks section of the library, attempted to start a conversation with the woman and began masturbating. Police have filed charges of public lewdness and disorderly conduct against him in connection to the incident
The police are also looking into a similar library masturbation incident that took place March 21st in a stairwell. No charges have been filed in that one, but the message is clear: Females might want to bring a towel on their next trip to the library.
Basketball player to be charged in library masturbation (The Daily Collegian)
42 Responses to “PSU Athlete Masturbating in the Library?”
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April 3rd, 2008 at 8:59 am
so it’s not a good idea to beat it when trying to pick up chicks?
damn, ive been going about this all wrong.
April 3rd, 2008 at 8:59 am
Carl Monday is en route to Happy Valley.
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:00 am
I thought Deadspin had exclusive rights to these stories?
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:00 am
Who knew chicks didn’t like that, well, lesson learned.
When my parents went there in the 70’s a girl was stabbed to death in the stacks, still unsolved to this day.
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:01 am
The Big Ten, full of masturbatory celebrations in libraries. (Carl Monday caught a dude in an osu shirt if you will remember).
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:02 am
@coop- you didnt mention that yesterday when you were bad mouthing the U
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:02 am
Once you pop you can’t stop?
/gross snack food/ last name joke
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:02 am
YOU TALKIN SHIT ABOUT THE BUCKEYES MAGS?!?!?!?!
just kidding, that shit was funny. i got my 15 minutes…er…my buddy go his 15 minutes of fame.
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:04 am
What is it about Big 10 schools and masturbating in libraries?
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:05 am
did this happen, by chance, at the “paterno library?”
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:06 am
b10 books are just really really hot
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:08 am
Step 1: Talk to girl in library.
Step 2: ….
Step 3: Masturbate!
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:08 am
Step 4. Profit? No, no, that’s not right at all.
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:09 am
Awesome to see that TBL now has a “jacking off” tag. Take that, Costas and Cuban!
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:12 am
Ha ha – that is a funny, funny post! LMAO!
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:13 am
so masturbation in Big 10 libraries is a common thing??
hey! Mr. Pringle might have a defense – “assumption of the risk”
/early morning lawyer talk.
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:16 am
As a PSU alum, this story doesn’t surprise. The “stacks” at Pattee library are pretty secluded and labyrinthian such that these types of strange things have been known to happen there is legendary….clandestine hookups, dead bodies, you name it, and it’s been purported to happen there.
This is just the first instance of these shenannigans I’ve ever heard make the Collegian.
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:18 am
I can understand a hookup, Mr. Dewar.
But meeting a woman and then just whipping it out and starting to jack it?
This is a crime committed by people who are a) drunk, b) on drugs, c) mentally deranged.
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:21 am
TBL just doesn’t understand how the courtship rituals of the young people.
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:22 am
mmm…pringles. i want some sour cream and onion ones STAT.
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:22 am
Maybe if these Big Ten basketball players didn’t wear themselves out beating off in libraries they could play a more up-tempo style
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:24 am
starting point guard cant get any ass so he has to jackoff in the stacks classic
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:25 am
Jerry: So, how did your date with Staley go?
Elaine: He took it out.
Kramer: (seconds later): Im out, Im out of the contest.
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:26 am
Shouldn’t we be commending a Division I athlete for actually locating the library on his campus?
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:27 am
What is a varsity athlete even doing in a library? Isn’t that the bigger part of the story here?
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:28 am
Seinfeld in bad car accident – brakes fail, car flips. He’s fine, though.
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:30 am
Seinfeld’s car accident was funnier than 30 Rock.
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:45 am
Why didn’t he just yank it in his car on the way home from the library?
regards,
Ghost of Eddie Griffin
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:52 am
Why do they say the brakes fail? I mean did it get an F on a paper?
\My opinion of Seinfeld’s lousy, unfunny “comedy”
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:56 am
cbh – Sorry, but if you are going to burn on Seinfeld we can’t be friends.
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:58 am
+1 cbh.
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:58 am
That’s gold, cbh! Gold!
April 3rd, 2008 at 10:01 am
412, the show itself I never watched much but when I did I found it funny, Seinfeld the man, not so funny in my opinion.
+1 to you clown for actually changing your name to clown.
April 3rd, 2008 at 10:02 am
Shouldn’t we be commending a Division I athlete for actually locating the library on his campus?
Very, very good point.
And nicely done on Eddie Griffin, too.
April 3rd, 2008 at 11:02 am
I like how the story refers to the person who got jacked off behind as “the victim.”
April 3rd, 2008 at 11:08 am
I don’t remember where I read it, but apparently this happened on a flight not too long ago. Some chick fell asleep and the guy next to her finished rubbing one out, with the ‘prize’ landing in her hair. She woke up, he was still stroking, and she felt it in her hair. Outstanding.
April 3rd, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Huh. And here I thought TBL had gone soft since going public.
April 3rd, 2008 at 12:26 pm
On top of this someone shit on a book in the library yesterday as well, I’m glad I never go to the library, its like a fucked up porno in there.
April 3rd, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Oh the headlines this lends itself to:
Point guard arrested for Palming.
Point guard whistled for double dribble.
April 3rd, 2008 at 1:24 pm
He wrongly assumes all chicks in the library must be fevering for the flavor of a Pringle?
Odds are strong that a good friend of mine will be prosecuting this one. Oh, but to be a prosecutor in a college town…
April 4th, 2008 at 9:08 am
[...] it all went down in the stacks. Yikes. This may affect library use at Penn State. (The Big [...]
April 8th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Haha “the victim”… that’s great. Pringle should at least hold a press conference and tell that chick that she’s ugly and he was thinking about someone else.