Doesn’t Mischa Barton get you excited about summer? Those teenage punks in Florida who beat up the girl will be tried as adults. Sweet. Let’s see how tough they are in prison. Golf-loving Cousins of Ron Mexico will be guiding you through the weekend.

Can’t a pitcher celebrate his birthday by getting drunk, spitting blood, and swinging wildly (after getting jacked in the face) at anyone in the vicinity? Also, Al Reyes got tasered. Twice. (My Pinstripes)

We’re temporarily lifting an OJ Simpson ban, but only because of this gem from the SI Vault. (The Commission)

Class trip to a brothel? Sure, where do we sign up? And can we take the class every semester? (MSNBC)

Hacky Jim Armstrong goes to the basement, gets the treatment. (Fire Joe Morgan)

The Texas Longhorns backup quarterback is a suspect in an assault case. (Views from the Press Box)

Quite simply, awesome: The Suckiest Sports Blog that Ever Sucked tournament. (Why Don’t We Get Drunk and Blog)

Jose Reyes was totally out at home plate last night, and the Phillies got jobbed. (Bugs and Cranks)

Florida RB Chris Rainey - the guy who beat WVU’s Noel Devine in a race last year in a Wal-Mark parking lot - is about to win some races in Florida this weekend. (SI)

Berman was preparing for the NFL Draft, that’s why he’s not at the Masters. (Fanhouse)

Jennie Finch, now a MILF, threw a no-hitter last night. Requisite drool-inducing photo. (Greensboro News & Record)

Everyone has sent us this EW story about upcoming episodes of LOST. We refuse to click on it. But if you want the spoilers, go right ahead. Please do not put any spoilers in the comments. (EW)

Kansas stud CB Aqib Talib, who should have been a Top 10 pick, is dropping in the NFL draft because he smoked a bunch of weed in college. (KC Star)