Chad Johnson Hates Life, Cincinnati, and Kittens
NFL April 17th. 2008, 11:30am
And especially his QB, Carson Palmer.
“I want to make this very clear,” Johnson said Wednesday. “I don’t know where he got that. I made no assertion to Carson that I would do that. Nothing has changed from what I’ve been saying for three months that I don’t want to play for the Bengals.”
Read: Carson Palmer can’t read a defense, but he can read my mind?
“I want to be traded before the draft, and if that doesn’t happen, I want to be traded as soon as possible,” Johnson said. “I don’t intend on reporting to anything.”
Read: I want out before Chris Henry gets arrested again. I want out before Emmitt Smith mixes up their and there again. I want out before Brett Favre bends Peter King over again. I’m a celebrity, get me out of here!
“I wish [Carson Palmer] would stay out of my business,” Johnson said.
Read: Just mind ya bidness alright? Just mind ya bidness!
Johnson says he won’t attend team functions, demands trade (ESPN)
41 Responses to “Chad Johnson Hates Life, Cincinnati, and Kittens”
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April 17th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Call me when he is doing crunches in his driveway.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:34 am
Didn’t he and Palmer use to be, you know, friends?
April 17th, 2008 at 11:34 am
… with helicopters circling overhead.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:34 am
Fresh Prince rules.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:35 am
I know a team that could use him.
Da Bears.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:35 am
4/20/2006
CINCINNATI (Ticker) – The Cincinnati Bengals are especially concerned with keeping Chad Johnson happy.
Already signed through the 2009 season, the three-time Pro Bowl receiver got a new deal on Thursday. Johnson is now signed through the 2011 season.
According to reports, Johnson will receive $35.5 million over the next six years.
“This is a key development for our team,” Bengals coach Marvin Lewis said. “It further secures our future with one of our top players, in the prime of his career, and I want to commend Chad for his efforts in making this happen. He is showing his commitment to what we have going here.”
A second-round pick in 2001, Johnson has spent his entire five-year career with the Bengals and compiled 379 receptions for 5,556 yards and 34 touchdowns.
Last season, Johnson led the AFC with a career-high 97 catches for 1,432 yards as the Bengals won the North Division title.
Nice, things fell apart pretty quick.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:35 am
What is it with wide outs and DB’s, I mean really… If you wrangled up all the clowns and bojanglers in the NFL from the past decade or so I bet you 90% of them are from those two positions.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:35 am
@Hef – remember the story of Palmer and Ocho driving to Indy to see the Colts play in a Monday nighter so they could see how Manning and Harrison work together in person.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Brady Quinn called Carson Palmer a faggot.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Carson Palmer can’t read a defense?
Trade his ass to MIA for their 2nd round pick. Win/win.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:38 am
Last night the story was “Chad Johnson reiterates that he wants to be traded.” So this is what is happening? They’re gonna have John Clayton talk to him twice a week, he’s gonna say the same thing, and the story will be “Chad Johnson still wants to be traded.”
See, I’m old enough to remember when Chevy Chase did the “Generalisimo Francisco Franco is still dead” stories on SNL Weekend Update. Back then, it was supposed to be sarcasm.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:40 am
Much as I hate seeing these assclowns get their way, Cinci needs to just clean house, get some value for this trash, and build a franshise that resembles Mean Machine a little less.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:43 am
i remember that day fondly. 4/20 is my christmas, easter and MLK day rolled into one.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:43 am
Chad has grown tired of Hudepohls, Big Red Smokeys and Skyline Chili.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:44 am
I’ve never liked Chad Johnson. The media tries to play off his touchdown celebrations as fun for everyone, but they are childish and selfish. He wouldn’t be able to score without the help of his 10 teammates.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:45 am
No story here. Who wants to live in Cincy anyway? Ocho looks like the spawn of that one lady in “Thunderdome.” In addition, remember that ESPN 360 story?
April 17th, 2008 at 11:46 am
spence – 3 days…
April 17th, 2008 at 11:46 am
CRM, that story made it seem like Chad and Carson were destined to be best buddies forever. I cannot fathom what went wrong.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:48 am
Chad Johnson is a whiny ass baby.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:49 am
+10 to Jay for the comparison to the Generalisimo.
As a Browns fan living in a split-town of Browns/Bengals* fans, I thought we were going to be subjected to the renewed threat of Cincy rising, but talk about a complete implosion and role reversal. Palmer even had the balls to bitch about the Browns getting a handful of nationally televised games. I guess he felt the Bengals should get them?
*No bigger bandwagon jumpers than Bengal fans.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:50 am
Agreed. But, I think some of these guys–probably more than not–are all about putting on a ridiculous show that will make Joe Buck weep, be replayed on “Sportscenter” for eternity, and may be woven into “Madden” somehow.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:51 am
Say what you will about Chad – the dude has some sweet deodorant commercials.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:51 am
Waiting for Jay to write his comments for the Hard of Hearing
/old guy who remembers the glory days of SNL
April 17th, 2008 at 11:51 am
Ocho-Cinco made me laugh.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:57 am
Jane you ignorant slut
April 17th, 2008 at 11:57 am
@ IU -
“Your Honor, the Bag o’ Glass is a respectable product.”
(in the background there is the Bag o’ Syringes)
April 17th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Bringing it full circle, maybe later TBL could post a “Finda the Pope in the Pizza contest”
April 17th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Don’t care either way about Bengals (don’t like or dislike). I just hope they make this ass-clown sit all year. If I see this idiot show up one more time for an interview and plead with the person to keep talking (ie Keyshawn, Brian Kenny), I’m going Brandon Marshall and sticking my arm through the TV. This guy has SERIOUS issues with needing attention, and the best thing that could happen is to let him rot on Cincy’s doghouse!
April 17th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Chad Johnson LOLcats?
April 17th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Can the Bengals asshat of an owner, Mike Brown, see past the $8m cap hit they’d take this year to move or release Stinko?
April 17th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
the same guy who charges his players for socks and gloves? um…doubt it.
April 17th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Take it back, TBL. Now.
/”I’m a dolphin, ma’am.” — “Well that’s okay I guess.”
April 17th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Chad Johnson needs a dickepedia page.
April 17th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Clown, I made the mistake of taking of swig of water and reading your comment…almost came out my nose..
April 17th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Dan Aykroyd: In order to perform the experiment, we need one ounce of marijuana. Weekend update correspondent Garrett Morris was sent into one of our urban neighborhoods to provide us with one ounce of marijuana. This bag contains one ounce, Garrett, it feels light. This isn’t a full ounce. We gave you money for one ounce, you’re going to have to go back and get more.
Garrett Morris: Man, don’t make me go back there! Those guys will kill me!
Dan Aykroyd: We need one full ounce not .97 ounce of marijuana for the experiment.
[Morris leaves]
Dan Aykroyd: In other news
[phone rings]
Dan Aykroyd: Hello. Thank you. This just in; Garrett Morris is dead. The Weekend Update correspondent was found dead in an alley, the victim of a senseless killing. Another drug related death, Jane.
April 17th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
Fr. Guido Sarducci is currently tied up with the Pope’s visit. He’s been assigned to sell “Pope Soap on a Rope” outside Nationals Stadium.
He’ll be available to run the “Find the Popes in the Pizza” contest later.
April 17th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Just wait, Cleveland, this is you in a couple of years. It’ll start with Kellen Winslow telling you how he’s a soldier, and it’s all downhill from there.
April 17th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
He is clearly a prick, but we’d love to have him back home in Miami. Come home Ocho……come home…….
April 17th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
#85 is going to regret wearing that jacket with “HOF Class of ????” on the back cuz he isn’t getting in. Unless, he has about 4 more career years, and shuts his stupid mouth, he’s not making it. Sorry Ocho Stinko.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Who’s the wiseass that put Flava Flav’s picture at the top of this post?
April 17th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Fuck Carson Daly…who cares what he thinks about football anyway? Now, golf–that’s a different story.