Memo to ESPN: STOP RUINING THE SUSPENSE!  It’s not that hard, people.  We’re tuning in to your draft coverage to see who will get picked — when the pick is officially announced.  Tell Suzy Kolber, your “experts” and the “Green Room” people to stop giving away the pick before Goodell announces it. 

For three hours before the draft started, Michael Smith had the first 4 picks confirmed.  Great.  Super.  You’re a “hard-hitting journalist”, Michael.  You have “sources”.  Awesome.  Why, ESPN, are you so hard and horny for being 1st?  You’ve turned your draft into an anticlimacitc snoozefest.

Imagine for a second, ESPN, that you and I go to the movies together.  I spring for the tickets and even pay for the sodas and large tub of popcorn — lightly drizzled with butter.  We sit down and start enjoying a Michael Bay film and immediately after the first appearance of the female protagonist, the film pauses and one of the ushers grabs a mic and says, “Hey movie-goers, that chick you just saw?  She dies in 20 minutes.  I just got off the phone with Michael Bay and he said as much.  Also, Nic Cage will crash his car in mere seconds and kill an kill an innocent, pregnant bystander.”

That would suck, wouldn’t it ESPN?  We’d feel ripped off.

You’ve injected too much journalism into the draft.  It became a watchable event because of the suspense factor… that was the entertainment.  Not the breaking news and pre-revealed selections.  So can it, will ya?

Take your green room and shove it up Nic Cage’s bum.