Forever beautiful, Heather Locklear turns 47 this September.  Having starred in Dynasty, TJ Hooker, Melrose Place and my pubescent dreams (which occurred just two weeks ago), Locklear will always have a special place in my heart.Â

On top of that, she was more or less responsible for Wayne and Garth’s creation of the “Schwing” phrase, which was really cool in elementary school cafeterias and recess parking lots and playgrounds throughout the early 90s.Â

Mitch Williams lands an acting gig for a Comcast commercial, in of all places, Philadelphia.  [The 700 Level]

Minor leaguer John Odom is traded for 10 baseball bats.  Seriously.  [SI]

Miami Dolphins release Jason Taylor and sign Kristi Yamaguchi in his stead.  [eTrueSports]

The music inside Manny’s head.  [The Sports Hernia]

The Texas Rangers got the better end of the Volquez/Hamilton trade, so says Kevin Sherrington of the Dallas Morning News. [Dallas News]

As Gorilla Monsoon would say, Jose Valverde is “IMPERVIOUS TO PAIN!” [The Fightins]

It’s not sports, but it is the most realistic portrayal of Hellen Keller ever.  [Deadspin]

Brock Lesnar vs. Heath Herring is set for UFC 87 (more on UFC later today).  [MMA Mania]

Joey Porter is an idiot.  He also wants an asterisk next to the Patriots dynasty.  [Sports by Brooks]

The Chargers want Jason Taylor.  [Miami Herald]

Terry Glenn says he’s being held down by the Cowboys.  [Star Telegram]

MLBPA ratifies tougher drug testing policy.  [ESPN]

***Note*** the video of Jose Valverde taking a liner off the face and remaining in the game is after the jump.  It’ll soon be taken down, I’m sure, so enjoy while you can.  Although enjoy is probably not the right word to use.Â