Reds 9, Pirates 6: Jay Bruce went 3-for-3 with two runs and two walks in his Major League Debut. It’s scary to think of what could be, if the Reds had Josh Hamilton and Jay Bruce in their lineup for the rest of the decade. Adam Dunn had a homer and four RBI, if you care.

Rangers 12, Rays 6: Josh Hamilton had a homer (grand slam) and five RBI. He’s 4-for-6 with 14 RBI with the bases loaded. I’m going to post his overall season statistics for all of you because they’re so damn fun to type: .329, 13HR, 58 RBI, 35 runs. The Rangers lead the Majors with ten 10-run games.

Mets 5, Marlins 3: Fernando Tatis had two hits and two RBI, which is odd because I thought he was in a coma. Johan Santana moved to 6-3 with a seven inning, seven strikeout performance, in spite of another Jose Reyes error.

Orioles 10, Yankees 9 (11): Johnny Damon had four hits and three RBI while his former Sox teammate Kevin Millar had two homers and three RBI. The teams combined for 28 hits, 19 runs, 14 strike outs, nine walks, nine homers and five errors.

Astros 8, Cardinals 2 (La Russa Alert: ELEVATED): Hunter Pence went 5-5 with 2 RBI and Miguel Tejada had a two-run homer. Their adversary A. Pujols went 4-4 with a homer. In other news, Tony La Russa started Chris Duncan and opted to keep Ryan Ludwick on the bench. In the event you hadn’t heard, Duncan has just four homers and a .252 average on the year, while Ludwick has a higher OPS than everyone in all of baseball except Chipper Jones and Lance Berkman. He also has more RBI than Pujols. This wasn’t a case of needing a day off, it was “going by the numbers” because Houston starter Shawn Chacon dominates right handed hitters compared to lefties, even though Ludwick is hitting .398 against righties (and Pujols went 4-4 as one of those right-handed hitters). It also happens that Chris Duncan is the son of his pitching coach. Ugh. If La Russa wasn’t so full of double-speak, he’d send Chris Duncan to AAA, bring up the red hot Joe Mather and let Duncan get more experience by playing every day – which was the same justification for sending down pitcher Anthony Reyes. Oh, but TLR doesn’t like Anthony Reyes and loves Duncan, so the justifications are different. Tony La Russa HAS to make a decision and HAS to have his imprint on every game. The man thinks too freaking much. Excuse me, while I go vomit.

I’m back. The Astros are good.