Carlos Guillen’s Hemorrhoids Need Lancing
Baseball May 28th. 2008, 11:30am
Outside of the rampant arrests and the incessant partying, we absolutely love candor in sports figures. Which is why Detroit manager Jim Leyland had us in stitches this morning with the following comments about Carlos Guillen’s struggles with hemorrhoids: “He can hardly move — he’s got hemorrhoids so bad … He’s been playing with hemorrhoids that probably need to be lanced. He probably shouldn’t have been out there (third base on Monday) … He could hardly walk (Monday night).”
Kaz Matsui’s anal fissures in Colorado HOUSTON and now this. Wonderful.
Guillen battling painful case of hemorrhoids (Freep)
22 Responses to “Carlos Guillen’s Hemorrhoids Need Lancing”
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May 28th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Well then don’t make him play third base, then. Its the AL, he can be the Preparation DH.
/shows self out
May 28th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Latest excuse for shitty defense, shitty offense and shitty bullpen for the Tigers.
Starting pitching has been outstanding lately with nothing to show for it.
Sunday: Verlander, 7 innings, 5 H, 1 run. No decision in a Loss.
Monday: Rogers, 7 innings, 5 H, 0 run. No decision in a Loss.
Tuesday: Bonderman, 7 1/3 innings, 6 H, 2 R. No decision in a Loss.
May 28th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Maybe Leyland should do the job himself when he lights up a cig for the 900th time today.
May 28th, 2008 at 11:37 am
george brett approves this message!!
May 28th, 2008 at 11:37 am
TBL, for the last time, Matsui’s anal fissures found their way over to the Houston Astros…
May 28th, 2008 at 11:42 am
Leyland should burn them off with his cigarettes
May 28th, 2008 at 11:44 am
i just fucking picked him up too
that shit sucks
May 28th, 2008 at 11:46 am
@grunge: And Houston fans have been happy to see him trot out to 2B ever since.
May 28th, 2008 at 11:46 am
I think Guillen was saying the exact same thing
May 28th, 2008 at 11:52 am
+ 1’s for commenters 1-9. shit jokes just never get old.
May 28th, 2008 at 11:53 am
Luckily for Guillen he doesn’t play hockey, where they know how to target an opposing player’s injuries.
May 28th, 2008 at 11:54 am
@dirty: how do you suggest targeting a player’s hemmorhoids?
May 28th, 2008 at 11:55 am
benji…smart bombs. or popping their hemmorhoid balloons so theyre uncomfortable when they sit. either or, doesnt matter.
May 28th, 2008 at 11:56 am
Poor sap, that Guillen. That’s embarrassing to be put out there like it has. Remember last week when Leyland said he was done protecting his players and he’d “play games in the media?” Well this is it.
May 28th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Yo - somebody who can’t access YouTube please shoot me an e-mail. Thanks.
May 28th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Edit that - CAN access YouTube. alumnigonzo@gmail.com
/I’m an idiot
May 28th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
who knew Guillen was ‘roided up
Guillen has ‘roid rage
‘roids are ruining baseball
May 28th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Roids are not funny for those of you who have never had them. It’s like a little baby finger sticking out from your asshole and then trying to finger fuck you. I guess what I am saying is, It hurts.
May 28th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
i know, they are the worst, the pain doesn’t go away until they are gone, it’s just 4-5 days of pure pain
May 28th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Actually, roids are very funny. Until the day that I’m walking around like my ass is on fire and my boss is telling the entire world about it, then they will cease to be amusing.
May 28th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Alright kids, seeing as how were on the topic…Movie Trivia time!
You know this “Hell on Earth” business? Big fucking deal - I’ve got hemmorhoids
May 28th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
one of the greatest medical procedures of all times: lancing ‘roids. i’ve had mine carved out before. trust me, the agony of dealing with them was far worse than the outpatient surgery.