“Press rewind if I haven’t blown your mind.” Who cares if we used that line a few months ago? How does last night’s LOST not cement the show as the greatest in TV history? That’s not hyperbole at all, even though the extent of our TV watching only goes back to the mid-80s when we were salivating over Just the Ten of Us and Fall Guy and Knight-Rider. Perhaps it is all about the era – maybe LOST simply rocks because it is infinitely more appealing than the other options, most of which are lame reality TV shows. Doubt it, though. Spoilers, questions, and photos of our soiled underroos after the jump.

Obviously joking about the crapped pants.

No sign of the EW recap yet (EDIT: Now it is – 945 am), so let’s dive into it with our inane ramblings:

* Kate and Jack’s meeting at the airport culminated with her saying something to the effect of it has been “three years” since they left the island. So Jack’s been strung out on drugs for how long?

* Fast forward to the end, and Locke in the coffin: Many nerds have already looked it up, and guess who Jeremy Bentham was in real life? (He’s No. 1 on google trends.) A weirdo. smart but also strange man. And if you scroll down on the wiki, you see the term auto-icon, and wax head … and yup, THAT’S NOT LOCKE IN THE COFFIN! No way. It’s a fake. A cunning ruse by Ben to try and get Jack back to the island. He’s just mind-fucking him. There’s absolutely no shot that Locke is dead with two seasons left.

* Possibly the exchange of the season happened early between Locke and Jack at the Orchid.
Locke: “You’re not supposed to go home. You know that you’re here for a reason. If you leave this place, that knowledge is going to eat you alive until you decide to come back. You’re going to have to lie. It’s the only way to protect it.”
Q’s: What reason?
Jack: “It’s an island, John. Nobody needs to protect it.”
Locke: “It’s not an island. It’s a place where miracles happen.”
Jack: “There’s no such thing as miracles.”
Locke: “Lie to them, Jack. If you do it as half as well as lie to yourself, they’ll believe you.”

Deep. Reggie Miller deep. HELP!

* It was glossed over, but Miles made it clear that he knew Charlotte had been to the island. There was something said about where she was born, and presumably, that was the island. Not really sure about all this.

* Sawyer whispered something to Kate on the chopper – obviously that was about taking care of his kid.

* Sayid goes in to grab Hurley and says that Bentham’s dead. This leads us to believe Ben relayed this info to Sayid, and he’s trying to get Sayid to rally and get everyone to go back to the island – perhaps he himself can no longer return. Sun will want to go back to look for Jin, Hurley will want to go back because he wasn’t crazy on the island, and Kate will want to go back for Sawyer, who probably will be hooking up with the busty chick whose name escapes us. Wait – it just hit us – everyone will go back to the island. (But why would Sayid want to go back? Ben has something over him, perhaps?)

* When Sun says to Mr. Widmore, “We’re not the only ones who left the island” she must be talking about Desmond, right? Not sure how that will play out – but Desmond and Penny seem likely to return at some point. That reunion with them on the boat was nice. There’s a photo below.

* Ben said “whoever moves the island can never come back.” So is Ben going to send everyone to the island, kind of like how Widmore put together that motley crew to go after Ben? Is Ben getting everyone to go back and get Locke?

* Claire’s appearance: “Don’t bring him back, Kate. Don’t you dare bring him back.” Hello? McFly?