Sure, it’s only one start, but for a sub-.500 team – not just any team; the biggest spenders in baseball – in desperate need of starting pitching, four walks in 2 1/3 innings, and 30 balls vs. 32 strikes from a guy who has been viewed by delusional New Yorkers as the savior, Joba Chamberlain certainly had an ominous beginning to his career as a starter last night. Mike & the Mad Dog will likely spend three hours on this today, perhaps analyzing each pitch. In the event you missed the glorious disaster, Intern Bill kept a running diary.

This is exactly like a live blog, but delayed so we can add in things like additional thoughts and links in semi-real time, and take out things like “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.€

7:00 — We come in the Yankees Entertainment and Sports’ (or with all due respect to Bob Raissman, Al Yankzeera’s) coverage of Jobapalooza 2008, hosted by Michael Kay and Al Leiter. Leiter’s analysis is generally sober, thoughtful, measured, intelligent; at times he’ll steal a sign from the catcher and call a pitch before it’s thrown. Almost exactly like ESPN’s coverage of the 2008 draft, actually, except less annoying. Joined by Leiter is Michael Kay, whose voice is so irritating and distracting, it makes one pine for Yankees radio broadcaster John Sterling (and that’s saying something!).

7:05 — The Yankees organ player delivers a less than Sterling (no pun intended) rendition of “O Canada” followed by our national anthem. Rather low-key for Chamberlain’s start, “eh”? (Pun definitely intended!)

7:06 — Yankees broadcast showing pictures of Joba as a little kid and boy was he fat! Looks a lot like Andruw Jones does now, actually.

7:07 — The broadcast flashes Toronto’s lineup. It’s mediocre, uninspiring, and the way things usually go for these types of manufactured media “events” they’ll score eight runs! Here’s hoping!

7:08 – The first pitch to Jays leadoff hitter Shannon Stewart is a ball. We hear a smattering of boos.

Yankee fans are a lot like Philadelphia Phillies fans, actually. Except with less loathing, more self-respect, and without the battery throwing. During the race riots in 1977, I think Bronx store owners would keep essential goods like batteries under lock and key to prepare for the blackouts, fires, and police beatings that were typical of the city in that era. Expect that to change if Chamberlain falters.

7:10 – Stewart leads off with a walk. Dead silence in Yankee stadium. Expect Toronto to go up 1-0 here. As Tim McCarver said in more lucid times “Lead off walks score.€ He’s right.

7:11 — Decent numbers from Marco Scutaro. Another 1st pitch ball. Leiter is going on about how starting is different than reliving from a mindset aspect. Apparently when you start, “you think about it when you wake up, you think about it when you eat, take a nap…” Nap? When Randy Johnson was playing in Arizona, he was so intense he wouldn’t sleep for 36 hours before a start. Right? It’s worth looking into, we think.

7:15 — Scutaro K’s on a high curve.

7:16 — Joba gives a (questionable) balk to Stewart, sending him to 2nd. Alex Rios is up now. The Blue Jays had a trade on the table sending Alex Rios to San Francisco for Tim Lincecum. Worth mentioning. Rule of thumb, GM’s, any chance you get to screw Brian Sabean, you ought to take it. It’ll make your career last a lot longer.

7:17 — Passed ball by Molina, Stewart to 3rd.

7:18 — Ground out to 2B, Stewart scores. Toldja? Cheap runs are still runs.

7:19 — Scott Rolen is up, looking out of place in blue and gray. Winner of the pre-season straw poll: “Which 2008 Blue Jay will attempt to fight John Gibbons this year?” Scott Rolen.

7:20 — Single to the right side. Who says Giambi has no range?

7:21 — Career journeyman Matt Stairs is up and batting 5th for the Blue Jays. If that guy is in the five-hole, it’s probably not a good sign for your team.

7:23 — Stairs walks on a high curve. More silence from the Yankee faithful. Nearly 30 pitches (on a 70 pitch limit) means Jobapalooza ‘08 will be like Woodstock ‘99 – an enormous, overhyped, expensive, and dangerous letdown. Probably going to see another walk here.

7:24 — One more BB to Milwaukee castoff Lyle Overbay. Bases loaded and the bullpen already going.

7:25 — Rod Barajas (former Texas Ranger?) coming to bat.

7:26 — More Nuke LaLoosh than Walter Johnson at this point, Joba K’s Barajas. 1 IP, 1 ER, 3BB, 2K.

Quick in-commercial analysis point that in our opinion is true: When a pitcher, any pitcher, throws a lot of pitches in an inning, it’s crucial that when that pitcher’s team comes to bat, the hitters can’t go down 1-2-3. You need to give said pitcher some time to recover. Otherwise, the damage will snowball until the starter is out early and the bullpen is taxed.

7:30 – Aaaand Damon gets a triple. D’oh! The former caveman does a Pete Rose style head first slide in third.

7:31 – Jeter up. According to Kay, Halladay as a child threw against a mattress in his basement in order to build up his arm/accuracy. Mike Mussina also threw against his basement wall. Coincidence? Is the lack of young pitching in the game today really due to the fact that kids don’t throw in their parents basements any longer? Is it because they blog instead. Bissinger was right after all!

7:32 – Jeter grounds to 3B, fails to get the run in.

7:33 – Bobby Abreu up. John Sterling loves the guy. Calls him “El Como Dulce.€ No idea what it means, but it reminds me of Mussolini.

7:35 – Abreu K’s on a big slider. That’s two Yankees who fail to get the run in from first. Can you believe the team is under .500?

7:36 – When your team is counting on Alex Rodriguez to come through in a tight spot, it’s usually not a good sign. According to Kay: A-Rod is 8-38 with runners in scoring position. That’s a .211 average.

7:37 – Yeesh! A-Rod gets plunked in the back with a breaking ball. The fans rejoice, because he didn’t strike out.

7:38 – Just as we learn that Matsui is 2nd (!) in the batting title race to Josh Hamilton, he serves a pitch to LF. Tie game, 1-1.

7:38 – Up now, Jason Giambi, rocking the porn ’stache that makes him look even more dirty, if that’s even possible. If you’re in the mood to be offended, read the OnTheDL forums on some Giambi blind items. The man is more depraved than Tom Sizemore.

7:38 – The Giam-BALCO goes to the other way, drives in A-Rod. 2-1 NY.

7:39 – Robinson Cano (slowly earning the reputation of fantasy team killer) grounds out on the 1st pitch. It gave Joba enough time to rest. Can he capitalize? The chances of him going long enough to earn a “win” in this game seem slim.

7:42 – According to Joe Girardi, they’re thinking 65 pitches for Joba. That should be about 2 IP.

7:43 – Brad Wilkerson up. Kay compares Joba’s hype to that of Doc Gooden when he came up for the Mets in 1984. Let’s hope for his sake that he stays off the crack. Meanwhile, Chamberlain goes up 0-2 on Wilkerson, and then lets him back 3-2 before getting him to fly out to LF. For those paying attention at home, fly outs are usually not good.

7:44 – Yankee gnat David Eckstein batting. Joba K’s him on a fastball outside.

7:45 – Shannon Stewart up, again. Walked his first time up, flies out to RF this time around. Commercial break.

7:49 – Jose of the flying Molina brothers (it’s funny because they’re slow), comes in vs. Halladay, promptly strikes out. Meanwhile, NY is interviewing Harland Chamberlain, Joba’s father. The elder Chamberlain is confined to getting around in a motorized scooter after being stricken with polio as a child.

7:50 — Melky Caberea grounds out.

7:51 – Kim Jones, YES network’s less attractive version of Heidi Watney, is tossing Harland more softballs then Jennie Finch. Nothing too controversial, we were kind of hoping Joba’s dad would be like the baseball equivalent of all the crazy basketball moms (LeBron’s mom, Iverson’s mom, etc.) but no such luck. Damon doubles.

7:55 — Jeter flies out after a battle with Halladay. Onto more commercials.

Quick note about Halladay. In Tom Verducci’s piece from a few years ago “I Was a Toronto Blue Jay” he wrote that Roy Halladay comes to spring training with his stuff basically season ready. Three thoughts:

1. Verducci can’t be right, can he?

2. If he is right, then Halladay just has righteous natural stuff, even for a big leaguer.

3. Does this guy prepare for spring training? What is he, a rookie? Could that be the reason he’s hurt so often? Someone get Baseball Prospectus on this.

7:58 – Marco Scutaro batting, and flies to right field, and Abreu actually touches the wall while making the catch! Phillies fans shake their head in disgust.

8:00 – Walk to Alex Rios, and that’s all for Joba. His final line:

2.1 IP, 4BB, 3K, 1 ER.

The results weren’t there, but Chamberlain showed the upper-echelon stuff with velocity touching the triple digits on one occasion. Two innings and a nearly 9.00 ERA 3.86 ERA isn’t going to get it done, but he seemed to show decent flashes in, what was for Joba, an over glorified spring training game.