I’ll be doing the same old stupid Live-Blog Live-Blog thing for the first two hours. Nothing better than making fun of people you don’t know to pass the time.

The first two hours the coverage will be on ESPN. At 2pm, I’ll be bouncing out of work while they move the golf coverage over to NBC. Hopefully, Ellen (Animal handler Jeff Corwin; a 14-year-old boy discusses apprehending a robber.) won’t be preempted.

Today we’re looking at the hobbled Tiger Woods and the poker-playing Rocco Mediate. Mediate played the better 1st and 4th round (69 and 71) while Tiger played the better middle rounds (68 and 70).

Tiger will be playing for his 14th Major Title. (A record for people named “Eldrick.”)

Interesting fact about Mediate – he’s the 157th ranked player in the world. (Just ahead of Chris Mihm’s brother, Frank.)

While we’re here, I might as well make a prediction, right? Uh… How about… Tiger 74, Rocco 72. That’s right – I’m calling the upset! It’s Tiger’s Mystique vs. Tiger’s Sore, Tired Knee vs. Rocco Mediate. Didn’t know there were 3 participants today, did you? We’ll be back in a minute to get this party started. Feel free to drink at work.

One more note before we get started: It’s not raining at Torrey Pines today, I just happened to find two weather-related pictures that I decided to use.

Rocco Mediate: Champion of weather-related safety.

Noon – Almost time to join a real live blogger who gets paid in something other than Sprite. Not that there’s anything wrong with Sprite. It’s delicious and it combines my two favorite flavors – lemon and lime. Mmmm.

This isn’t tennis, where the 158th-ranked player would barely stand a chance against Roger Federer. Anything can and often does happen in golf and while I did predict that Woods would win, I don’t think it’ll be a runaway by any means.

Nothing could possibly endear the sport of golf to the casual fan than comparing it to tennis. It’s impossible. Catch Golf Fever!

The first four holes will be crucial. Through four rounds, Mediate played these holes in 5-under-par, while Woods was 4-over. If Rocco can get an early lead, he’ll carry that momentum for a while.

So if history shows us anything, it’s that Rocco could have a 9 stroke lead through 4 holes. That seems like a big defect – even for Tiger!

In case you couldn’t tell, Tiger is the guy in a red shirt and black pants. Rocco is the other guy in a red shirt and black pants.

Wouldn’t it have been easier to say that Rocco is the guy who isn’t Cablinasian?

12:12 – Commenter/contributer, Rockabye Reggie Nelson is now live-blogging the live blog of the live blog. Ugh. It was only a matter of time folks. I apologize in advance of Al Gore’s head exploding like the guy from Scanners. Excuse me while I borrow a third monitor from the next cubicle.

My buddy Scott Van Pelt mentioned on the air yesterday that he’d have to recycle a suit, since he didn’t plan for a playoff. Well, he’s in good company. As CNBC’s Darren Rovell reports, yes, that is the same shirt that Tiger was wearing yesterday. What? You thought he’d wear green or something?

I haven’t changed my underwear since Wednesday, so I guess I can be considered a pro today.

Rocco misses his par putt; Tiger makes his. So much for that quick start for Mediate.

Tiger is winning! There’s no way Rocco can come back. Tiger has never lost a playoff where he leads after one hole.*

*Probably true.

12:24 – Anybody else hungry?

Ho-hum. A pair of pars and Woods heads to the third hole still up by one.

Tiger is pulling away. This thing might be done by the time I leave work.

12:31 – With only two players going today, this could just become a score update. I think I’ll have to start making wild accusations. Example: Tony Navarro just head-butted someone. Again.

Is it just me or do we not have nearly enough head-butts in golf?

And there’s our first two-shot swing. Rocco cleans up for birdie. Tiger makes bogey and Mediate now leads by one. That was fast, huh?

I guess calling it after one hole was a bit presumptive of me. How was I supposed to know. I’m not made of eyes.

First e-mail of the day, from Joe in Parts Unknown:

    What score today is achievable? Like yesterday, is there a 68 available? Or is the course set up to play more difficult?

Nobody’s e-mailing me. I suddenly feel so alone…

Usually, when players miss the cut after two rounds and aren’t around on the weekend, they’re not eligible for the Monday playoff. Guess that’s not the case for live blogs of live blogs. Or live blogs of live blogs of live blogs, for that matter. Funny, but this is the exact same thing that happened during the Hogan/Fleck playoff in ‘55.

Sobel remains a friend to non-corporate bloggers. Excuse me while I try to figure out what Bela Fleck has to do with any of this.

12:50 – The Big Lead goes down for the count!

ESPN Traffic > Sprite-Powered-Servers

1:01 – While we were gone, both Tiger and Rocco pared the 4th.

Here comes another big swing. Tiger has an 18-footer left for birdie, while Rocco hit the cart path … then hit it again … and eventually saw his ball stop rolling when it got to La Jolla. He’s lefter than left.

No confidence. This is Rocco Mediate we’re talking about. He’s like the 157th ranked Superman in the world.

1:08 – We’re all tied up at 20. Tiger and Rocco have combined for 3 bogeys and 1 birdie. I’m starting to wish I had changed my underwear at some point.

1:10 – Hold on guys, it’s my turn to ride the stationary bike that powers the server. I’ll be right back.

Rocco misses the par putt and makes bogey (see, I was right after all). Tiger makes par. We’re all square once again.

I pretty much just said the same thing. Who’s live-blogging who here?

None at all, actually. He looks like a new man. Perhaps he really is part-robot and can just regenerate body parts like a salamander. (I’ll admit it; I had to look that one up.) Remember, though, in Saturday’s third round, he wasn’t grimacing, either, until about the 15th hole, so just because he looks OK now doesn’t mean he’ll be OK throughout the entire day.

I too assume he’ll be OK until he tweaks his knee smashing it out of the high grass.

1:16 – The server also hosts Oprah.com, so you can see why we’re overrun so often.

Tiger drops one out of the sky, knocks it stiff to about 6 feet short of the hole.

He hit a bird!@?

Terrible chip by Rocco … way left and short … wait, no, it’s coming back a little … it’s not that bad … and it’s still coming … and some more … and it wind sup a few feet from the hole. Wow, that was some great touch after what looked like a pretty awful chip.

I always say don’t judge a chip shot by it’s cover.

1:25 – It’s hard to type while I peddle…. Tiger’s first birdie of the day puts him up one.

Tiger pures his drive on 7. Rocco finds the first cut.

I’m confused. Can you put this into tennis terms so I understand?

1:27 – I can’t wait to get home so I can look for more images of Rocco warning you about severe weather:

“Hey kids, don’t golf in hail! Or typhoons!”

That’s not so much a bad joke as it is a dream.

1:37 – While I got distracted at work, Tiger birdied and then put on in the bunker. Rocco pared and his next shot is up in the air. Literally.

And Rocco comes up well short on the 171-yard hole. There hasn’t been much wind at No. 8 all week, so I’m surprised to see him miss by so much.

I’d blame it on the wind if I were Rocco. Come on, it’s wind! Nobody can see it. When I was younger I would blame bad dates on the wind.

Very similar to what it’s been like the first four days. Sunny, 75, slight breeze. Oh, and if you have a good e-mail, just let me know that it’s a goo done in the subject line. That should help me get to ‘em quicker.

So the weather in Southern California is sunny and 75? Good thing we’ve got a man on the scene!

As for “goo done” there’s a Eight Belles joke in here somewhere, but my TBL editors are shocking me. Bill Simmons’ book “Kicking A Dead Horse: Jokes That Write Themselves” will be out this October!

1:50 – We’re heading to the turn and it’s time for me to change venues. Back in a bit.

2:24 – I just got back and I’ve seen Tiger hit two bunkers in 30 seconds. Impressive.

2:29 – Rocco puts his second shot onto the green and Tiger misses is still a pitch away from a putt. We could have a ball game.

3:34 – Rocco is going to set a record for putts today. Tiger on the other hand has putted 7 times in the last 11 holes. You figure it out.

2:36 – The last post did not come from the future.

2:37 – Tiger actually misses a putt and Rocco can pick up a stroke with a par.

2:38 – We’ve got a severe weather warning in my area as Rocco putts to get within one. And he makes it on the tiny little screen in the corner of my TV! I think! I can’t tell because they’ve decided to put up the doppler radar and a picture of lightning. While it is totally badass, I’d really like to watch the golf match.

2:43 – Did you know changing the filter in your air conditioner is good for the air conditioner? That’s why my local news guy just told me.

2:45 – Rocco….to the bunker. The beach is wonderful in SoCal this time of year. I’m sure Tiger will stop by and say hello.

2:46 – Tiger approaches – I can see the green so he should be able to hit it there, right? – I was right.

2:47 – Tiger is going to be taking a long eagle attempt while Rocco tries to get out of the sand. And there’s a beer commercial… mmm….

2:49 – “Rocco is a pretty good bunker player.” And he gets it pretty close. He’ll have a short bird-putt.

2:54 – Some asshole is trying to start a “Rocc-o Med-iate” chant. Where’s Tony Navarro when you really need him?

2:58 – How many times is TBL going to see Hitch opening night? I’m putting the over/under at 3.

3:01 – As Tiger chips on and we wait for Rocco’s approach…within a foot! Tiger misses, we’ll be tied with just 4 to play.

3:02 – What I meant to say before I was so rudely interrupted by Rocco, is that the storm is intensifying in my area so don’t be surprised if the live-blog ends abruptly.

3:05 – You guys wanted a 4-hole playoff? Here you go.

3:07 – Rocco puts it in the fairway and Tiger puts it outside the ropes. If the power goes out, I’ll cry.

3:08 – It’s hard to blog with my fingers crossed as I mutter “Please stay on. Please stay on. Please stay on.”

3:15 – Anything you can do I can do better….

3:16 – Tie game and we’re looking at a couple birdie attempts – Tiger’s is much closer.

3:18 – Wooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaah! What a shot! Rocco with the birdie! Unbelievable putt.

Incredible pressure on Tiger.

3:20 – It is now hailing at my house. Tiger…misses! Rocco’s in the lead with 3 holes to go.

3:21 – Tiger taps in to keep it within one. The audio on my TV is now getting jumpy. The hail continues.

3:24 – Rocco misses the green on his tee shot on the 16th. Tiger is testing the winds. Remember, never trust the wind. Ever.

3:25 – Tiger is on the front of the green. He’s a long way away. If he makes it everyone will freak out. That’s my only prediction for when we get back from commercials.

3:29 – Rocco comes real close on an insanely long putt. Now it’s Tiger’s turn. This is what I would call a “video game putt.” The kind of putt that I make playing Tiger ‘06 that makes my roommate say “What the shit!?” because he doesn’t know enough to line up putts with the scenery.

3:31 – I can’t describe how perfect Tiger’s put was. An inch from going in. Perfectly placed. Only the ocean pull kept it from dropping.

3:32 – Just realized I jinxed this storm with the pictures I used above.

3:34 – The storm is passing for me (hopefully) let’s see if Tiger is as lucky. He’s in desperate need of a stroke here.

3:40 – Tiger was about to swing, but Stevie called him off and they switched clubs. Tiger is on the green with a shot for birdie. (He’s down one and this is the 17th! Sorry I didn’t remind you.)

3:41 – Guess who else is on the green with a long birdie putt coming up? Rocco obviously.

3:45 – From earlier on Sobel’s blog:

If the players are tied after 18 holes, the playoff would be decided in sudden death using holes 7, 8 and 18 in rotation.

3:47 – Both players missed the birdie and made the par. Rocco is taking a 1-shot lead to the 18th.

3:49 – Rocco’s up first – missed the fairway. Into the bunker. Tiger can put the pressure on by putting it down the fairway here. (He’s missed fairways all weekend.)

3:53 – Tiger’s about to take his second shot – still trailing by 1. He puts it on the green here, we’re looking at Sudden death. Or worse!

3:56 – Fans have been behind the 18th green since 6am. Hope nobody needed anything done on the West coast today.

3:56:24 – Tiger is on in 2. Just over the water from the view from the seat on my couch.