What was ESPN thinking? Their primary crew for last night’s coverage consisted of Stuart Scott (not a bad host), Jay Bilas (good choice, knows his college hoops) and then two guys who a) obviously hope to coach in the NBA again, so their analysis clearly wasn’t objective, and b) obviously watched very little college hoops this season: Jeff Van Gundy and Mark Jackson. Those two are the primary reason we thought the coverage overall was pretty disappointing. (Though this guy disagrees.) Hey, look! A report card!

Stuart Scott, B …Putting aside your previous thoughts on the guy, he was palatable last night. These live events, and especially one where trades are happening fast and furious, can be devilish to get a grasp on, but Scott seemed to do an OK job. The whole Shan Foster-looks-like-Usher lead in to the video fell terribly flat.

Mark Jackson, D …When it comes to college basketball, his analysis is a mile wide and an inch deep. Almost every player was a good fit, everywhere, regardless. As for the NBA teams, Stu Scott should have said, “Mark, the way you’re talking, it’s as if everyone’s playoff bound. Anyone in the NBA actually suck, or is every single solitary team ‘heading in the right direction?’” Does the man possess the ability to criticize when necessary?

Jeff Van Gundy, D … He actually said the Rockets, when healthy, are one of the two best teams in the West, right there with the Lakers. Oh, right – he used to coach in Houston. We can say this with some authority – JVG was lobbying harder for a job last night than any of the draftees who sat down to chat with Stephen A. Smith. Viewers want the truth, not some on-the-fence wishy washy bullshit. If you hate the pick, defend it, and vice versa. There were bad picks last night. Just not in Jeff Van Gundy’s eyes.

Jay Bilas, B … Back has to be hurting this morning from carrying those other two jokers. This was the brick by ESPN – since Jackson and Van Gundy seemed to have scant knowledge of all these freshman who played just a year of college ball, Bilas would quickly be called upon to chime in on a pick. Thought he did an admirable job, but clearly needed help. Perhaps next year ESPN will realize that it’s more important to add a second college hoops analyst on the set than an NBA guy. Bilas is no Mel Kiper … then again, nobody is. If ESPN needed Andy Katz for the web and interviews, what about yanking Doug Gottlieb off the radio to sit next to Bilas? Say what you will about Gottlieb – he obviously watched more college hoops than Van Gundy and Jackson combined.

Stephen A. Smith, C …At least they put him in a role where he wouldn’t go into his shtick coma starting at 7:01. For the first three picks he seemed to do a solid job, but as the less obvious picks began happening, he and the voices in his ear weren’t quick enough on their feet. Not sure who gave the edict to ask the same question to every draftee – ‘what are you going to bring to team x?’ – but that got stale. Smith also didn’t seem to have watched enough college hoops to ad lib when necessary.

Ric Bucher, C … Reported all afternoon that the Sonics swapped spots in the Top 10 with the Clippers. Everyone kind of scratched their head … and then it never happened. Did redeem himself later with the Blazers-Pacers deal, and moreso with the revelation of the Darrell Arthur kidney situation.

Doris Burke, B … Maybe it’s just us, but what is the fascination with interviewing the parents of players? Is there a hope that maybe one of them will breakdown in tears of joy in a made-for-TV moment? They should have just put Burke at the same table with the Lopez Brothers to shoot the shit. Those guys seemed pretty chatty. Everyone was wondering if Darrell Arthur would do an interview as he slid down the charts … and even though she only got off two questions, Burke did fine in that spot.

Dick Vitale, C- … Effervescent as usual. Had him at a B+ … until his end-of-the-first-round-rant. Like how he slammed Larry Brown (not by name, obviously) for taking Darko a few years back instead of ‘Melo. After the first round though, we’re not sure why he was surprised Russell Westbrook went ahead of DJ Augustin and Kevin Love. Is he aware of Seattle’s needs? It’s lunacy, just like his “minimum of three years in college” idiocy – why should these kids serve three years of indentured basketball servitude so the schools can pocket all the winnings? Fuck that. What’s with the Mark Jackson blowjob? Good player does not equal great coach, as we’ve seen before. And then, the coup de grace – a completely unnecessary mention of North Carolina despite the school having nobody get drafted. If Vitale had mentioned Duke, we would have vomited, cursed the ghost of Mark Alarie, and given Dookie V an F. The UNC plug bumped him down to a C-.

Andy Katz, A … Criminally underused considering he’s their No. 1 college basketball source. Would have been much better suited out front as a ying to Bilas’ yang, or interviewing the players as they were drafted. There weren’t a whole lot of hard hitting questions asked all night, but Katz got in at least two to Bayless. Quick to get word from Kansas coach Bill Self about the Darrell Arthur kidney condition also was impressive.