The last-place Indians get a promising hitter who is pounding minor league pitching and three others, and the Brewers acquired rented last year’s AL Cy Young award winner, who stunk early this season, but has improved in recent weeks. Should we write the Indians off for the next few years? Is this a disaster if the Brewers can’t sign big-money wanting Sabathia in the offseason? Cubs fans, are you cowering in fear? Intern Bill explores all the angles.

This deal was notable not only because Sabathia might be the best pitcher in the American League (the better of two leagues), or that it’s the first big trade of the “trading season,” but rather 2008 might be the first time in the recent era of baseball that two cities with such lush histories in sports failure have come together on such a blockbuster trade. And it’s not a blockbuster because trade centerpiece CC Sabathia weighs nearly 400 lbs, it’s because the Brewers-Cleveland swap signifies a few things for the rest of baseball:

1. The Indians are officially done. As previously stated, the problem with the Indians has been a few injuries and major, nearly team-wide, offensive underperformance. And while it’s not unreasonable for the Indians to make a second half run into the postseason, it is extremely unlikely. Indians GM Mark Shapiro probably saw the choice of getting as big of a return as possible, rather than staying in the miracle business, and with the talent he’s been able to bring to the team since the beginning of his tenure in 1991, he’s earned that right. After all, even the 2007 New York Mets couldn’t blow a 14-game lead.* An interesting dynamic in the AL Central to keep your eyes on is that the more pieces the Indians trade this year to get better for the future, the better the chances are for the Detroit Tigers have to win more games in their division this year. Worth mentioning.

On the trade itself, the Indians clearly came out ahead of this deal, getting Brewers top overall prospect OF/1B Matt LaPorta, left-handed bullpen asset Zach Johnson, sleeper arm Robert Bryson, and a PTBNL that may be 2B Taylor Green.

They surrendered three months of a player they weren’t going to re-sign anyway, and got four players with six years of control each, two of whom (LaPorta and Johnson) have good chances of contributing to the major league club relatively soon. LaPorta might be a star.

2. Milwaukee is taking a major, major gamble. Let’s ignore the on-field ramifications of the trade for the time being. The Brewers now have two pitchers (Ben Sheets and Sabathia) on their team with upper echelon ability and proven track records entering free agency at the same time. A low revenue team such as the Milwaukee is unlikely to re-sign both, and it’s possible they’ll lose the two pitchers after the 2008 season. That means that if the Brewers do not win it all this year, then starting pitching will be a major concern of the Brewers for probably the next few seasons. With this gamble, the Brew Crew is absolutely playing to win in 2008. But was it the right move to make?

Despite their 49-39 record, the Brewers are not a great team. In the NL, their much ballyhooed offense has been merely above average, and they give up about as many runs as they score, meaning they’re playing like a .500 team that just so happens to have a better record. The addition of Sabathia might give the Brewers the best rotation in all of baseball, but the Chicago Cubs in their division are still a much better club. While the Northsiders have trademarked failure for the better part of a century, we still doubt they’ll cede the division crown. So should anyone be taking the Brewers seriously?

Price Fielder might be the only person on Earth whose switch to vegetarianism has actually made him fatter; Rickie Weeks ascension to being the next Gary Sheffield has gone almost hysterically wrong; Bill Hall is playing so badly it’s like he wasn’t quite finished ruining our fantasy teams in 2007, so he decided 2008 would be good too; and SBC called, they’re installing the Mendoza line in Mike Cameron’s house. Do you think a pitcher worth maybe three more wins over the player he’s replacing can overcome the comic badness of the funniest Brewers? We’re laughing just thinking about it.

Bottom line is this: Unless the Brewers were totally confident that: a) they will lose Sheets regardless of what happens this year (likely), b) Matt LaPorta is entirely blocked by Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder (unlikely, probably wrong, but possible), c) the draft picks they’ll be compensated by losing Sabathia and Sheets have a higher rate of return than the prospects they gave to land the hefty lefty (possible, also a big gamble, but Brewers fans should love the confidence the front office has), AND d) they have a very reasonable chance to win the World Series this year and this trade is absolutely one worth making. The NL Wild Card is still very much within reach. And if they make the playoffs, the Brewers might be the favorite to go to the World Series.

The Milwaukee Brewers, sick of being a national joke and hobby horse of one Allan H. Selig, have decided to make a run for the playoffs, and by doing so brought in what might be the fattest pitcher in major league history to a place where people have for generations subsisted only on spiced sausages and beer. Probably not going to end well! But whether the Brewers, Sabathia, or their fans are headed for heart break (from losing) or heart attack (from actually winning), the trading season has begun, and this baseball season just got a whole lot more interesting.

* Oh wait, they did. And did we mention this guy made the 2008 All-Star team? It’s great time to be a Mets fan!

Side notes: Apparently, Sabathia confirmed the trade to ESPN’s Amy Nelson via text message. Had the NCAA found out he would have had to transfer to Jackson State. That being said, how does CC actually send text messages? Aren’t his fingers too fat to press the buttons? Does he have one of those brick cell phones Zack Morris used to rock in the 80’s? Or a modified iPhone that has an application that morbidly obese people can use that turns the entire touch screen into one giant button? Someone needs to look into this.