Nothing like a Manny Being Manny piece to close the day. Let’s give it up for Intern Bill!

Yesterday, the Boston Red Sox defeated a very bad Seattle Mariners team. After the game, the sometimes mirthful and mercurial outfielder Manny Ramirez was nearly ticked for failing to obey a traffic officer. Apparently he had his headphones on and his mind was somewhere else … which is almost exactly the same way he plays the game. We here at TBL thought this would be a good opportunity to chronicle our favorite Manny moments that you might have missed or forgotten about assuming you weren’t interested riding the train of crazy that has come to personify one of the greatest right-handed hitters of all time.

1. Manny allows a triple, loss to the Yankees — Anyone remember the 1998 ALCS? In Game 6 of that series when Ramirez was a Cleveland Indian, Manny misjudged an outfield ball so badly that it might have cost his team the series. In the 6th innings, Derek Jeter drilled a ball in Manny’s direction, and Manny went back to the wall, looking to make a Torii Hunter/Kirby Puckett-like catch, only to see the ball land at his feet. Cleveland fans are still wondering how that wasn’t charged an error.

2. Manny “Gets High” — In 2002, Manny requested that Style’s P’s song “I Get High” be played as his at-bat music! The song was played uncensored during home games at Fenway Park until people, appropriately, started freaking out. The lyrics are as follows:

I Get High, high, high, high (Everyday)
I Get High, high, high, high (Everynight)
Everyday I need an ounce and a half
S.P.: the only flow’er that you know with a bounce in a half
Listen kid, I need a mountain of cash
So I could roll up, hop in the whip and like, bounce to the ave
I get, high cuz I’m in the hood, the guns in around
It take a blunt just to ease the pain that humble me now
And I’d rather roll somethin up
Cuz if I’m sober dogg, I just might flip, grab my guns and hold somethin up
I get high as a kite

Now, is it possible that Manny’s “High” is an intellectual and spiritual brand of greater consciousness? Sure. But c’mon. The dreds? The inability to pay attention? If the guy weren’t on a road trip right now, he’d probably be stoned and rolling in Harvard Square with like six homeless people.

3. Fraternizing with the enemy – This happened in 2003. Manny not only begged out of a series against the Yankees because of illness, but spent those same nights drinking with Yankee infielder Enrique Wilson! Back then, this sort of thing was cause for jihad, but now, people think it’s a pleasurable foible that’s the price of genius. Amazing what buying a few $130 million dollar championships will do for a fanbase!

4. The diving catch to allow a run — In 2004, then-Boston pitcher Pedro Martinez was getting uncharacteristically shelled against an Orioles team that hadn’t yet realized they needed to rebuild. Martinez gave up eight runs the real craziness occurred in the field, courtesy of Manny:

Martinez was also victimized by the game’s most bizarre play. With two outs and Larry Bigbie at third, Newhan laced a drive to center that bounced high off the wall, eluding Damon. Manny Ramirez then, surprisingly, cut off Damon’s relay in center.

“That was a big mistake, [which] we paid for,” said skipper Terry Francona. “Sometimes you give up runs. I don’t know why.”

Oh, we don’t know. Maybe it’s because you’re playing Manny in left field?

5. The catch and high-five –This is probably the clip that’ll make his Hall of Fame highlight reel. Manny made a terrific home run-robbing catch, high-fived a fan, and then heaved it to 1st to double up a runner. Classic Manny.

Manny is a distraction, both on an off the field. His contract snipings, base-pimpings, and general annoyances would probably have earned him a well-deserved baseball in the ear 30 years ago. But for a few reasons, not limited to the ones listed above, baseball fans continue to find him endearing. Maybe it’s because in a game that’s basically nine guys in weird clothes standing out in the sun for three hours, Manny helps make the game of baseball a lot more interesting. And if you think that’s crazy, well it’s time we all come to accept it – it’s Manny’s planet, and we’re just living on it.