USA 120, Canada 65: With TIME coverboy, LeBron James out with a bum ankle, Team USA needed someone to step u…. Oh who am I kidding? The Cleveland Cavaliers could have beaten Canada sans King James. Dwyane Wade (Pictured here with Charles Barkley on hold.), Carmelo Anthony and Michael Redd all scored 20 points for Team America (F*** yeah!). Chris Paul had 11 points and 8 assists while Kobe Bryant pitched in 15 points. For some reason, Jason Kidd started.

Dwight Howard, who has recovered from the stress fracture of his sternum, blocked three shots and grabbed 7 boards whilst anchoring the defense that held the deadly Canadian squad to 65 points. While the USA defense shutting down the always-potent Canadian offense was nice, the bright spot for the homeland was obviously, the return-to-form of Dwyane Wade.

Like a teenage girl, he just needed to get off the damn phone:

“D-Wade is a warrior to anybody who knows him. He’s been rehabbing and he’s been working out probably more than anybody, just trying to get back in shape,” point guard Chris Paul said. “That’s D-Wade. We see it every day in practice and you saw it tonight, that he’s back. When he’s aggressive like that, we’re a dangerous team.”

Just as important than being aggressive - being able to run and jump:

“He’s healthy,” said Bryant, adding that he sometimes shows up in the gym for a morning workout to find Wade already there. “That’s the most important thing for Dwyane is that he’s healthy.”

As an American who loves his country, I hope D-Wade’s non-injury (I think it’s called “health?”) remains a constant theme for Team USA. With such a shallow front court, USA is going to the smaller guys to carry a heavy burden.

Jermaine Anderson scored 18 points for Canada. Isiah Thomas immediately signed him to help him fetch coffee for successful people.