Early today, TBL joked about doing 9 posts about Brett Favre. Luckily for you, I talked him off the ledge. Instead, I’m going to bring you all his post ideas at once. You know, the ones that have been covered elsewhere on the internet ad nauseum? Well, I’m putting them together in one conviniently skippable post.

Now watch as Intern CRM (I’ve been demoted and forced to type in the third person.) breaks down the Favre-post-ideas, one-by-one.

We’re thinking one about how Favre might handle the rabid NY media

Oh yes - the 36 year NFL veteran and the horrible New York media! Poor Brett.

You think the media outcry after throwing a drive-crippling interception that ends up costing the Jets a game against the Dolphins in the middle of November (I haven’t checked the schedule.) is going to faze Brett Favre? Please, this man has been throwing into triple coverage since before TBL could lift 300 pounds without a spotter. (Read: A long freaking time.) Do you really think a clever headline like “Favre From Perfect” on the back of the NY Post is going to make him consider retiring again? Hell no! His general indecisiveness will allow him to do that on his own.

one about how Favre will single-handedly resurrect the economy in New York and New Jersey

As our commenters will tell you on any random day - the economy is in terrible condition. Or it’s fine. One or the other.

What will Favre do to the economy? Well, besides pumping thousands of dollars into the dungarees industry, not much. Jets fans have been buying tickets to see Chad Pennington throw interceptions 20 yards down the field for years now - They’re sure as shit going to buy tickets to watch Brett Favre throw interceptions 40 yards down the field. I can hear them now “Oooooooh! Forgedaboudet!”

one about where Favre may reside in hopes of duplicating his country lifestyle

Somewhere outside the city, perhaps? I mean, I’ve only been south of Newburgh twice in my life, but I’m pretty sure I saw a tree or two down there. I’m sure Brett can find a nice log cabin next to a stream somewhere so he can wear his Wranglers and wrestle trout or whatever the hell he did in Green Bay.

Also of note: They do in fact have cheese in both New York and New Jersey. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.

one about how Aaron Rodgers will never have a decent career because this Favre experience is totally in his head

Is the situation in Rodgers’ head? I doubt it. The only lingering effect I can foresee is the arm injury he might have sustained while setting a record for fist pumps when he heard that the Packers had basically told Favre to shove his comeback up his country-fed ass.

one about how Ted Thompson and Mike McCarthy will be out of jobs in three years

Uh, I think that has more to do with the state of the economy than Brett Favre.

one about how the JETS WILL MAKE THE PLAYOFFS!!!!!

Well… The Colts, Jags, Pats, Steelers, and Chargers are sure things, right? That leaves the Titans, Browns and presumably Jets to vie for the final AFC spot. It’s possible. I mean, they say that “Vince Young just wins football games,” but you have to take into account that “Brett Favre just annoys people.”

one about how Tampa Bay will not sniff the playoffs

Possible… Cowboys, Packers, Vikings, Giants, Seahawks… The Bucs will need to win the NFC South, which they did last year. Who cares, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers aren’t winning a Super Bowl with Jeff Garcia and they wouldn’t win a Super Bowl with Brett Favre.

one simply running the list of every Jets starting QB in franchise history, just so everyone can laugh.

I don’t have time to sift through every quarterback that ever donned the green and white. I’ll instead direct you to the 1999 New York Jets - a team that featured one of the greatest trios of quarterbacks ever to inhabit the same roster: Ray Lucas, Rick Mirer, and then-a-spring-chicken-at-36, Vinny Testaverde.

Now, much like Rachel Nichols, I’m spent on Favre. Time to start “Pennington Watch 2008!”