The Tennessee Titans, a franchise flush with tradition, apparently enjoy a good hazing. Most rookies run through the “dizzy bat race,” where they spin in circle with their head on a bat while getting doused with condiments, water and other assorted fluids. The injured get taped to the goalpost for similar treatment, while beat-writers snicker with false insider glee.

I suppose broom handles would be a violation of the NFL’s personal conduct policy.

The Titans’ hazing seems lame and amateur, but does cool hazing even exist?

Most of it involves some form of Opus Dei-esque pseudo-sexual degradation, which is just creepy. The temptation of absolute power, I can see, but how does spanking another man’s ass with a paddle work it’s way into the mix?

I suppose the copious alcohol consumption may be thought of as cool, until someone dies.

Printers used to (may still?) dip an apprentice’s junk into bronze blue, which is not really cool, but curious.

Do hazing hijinks withstand distance and sobriety? Does an elephant-walk positively affect your future? Maybe the distinguished “Bonesmen” can elaborate?

So, if hazing is not cool, where does it come form?

For once, the male ethos escapes culpability. Girls are far more vindictive. Men want to physically humiliate, girls want to scar the self-esteem. No man would have thought up “circle the fat.€

Most American hazing directly stems from the practice of “fagging” in British public schools, which was overseen by the “fag-master.€ Read into that what you will.