Ok, so this could go as gracefully effortless as a John Elway flea flicker, or this could be the equivalent of your opponent guessing the right play in Tecmo Bowl and every single member of the defense joining in for the crushing sack. Let’s hope for the former.

All kidding aside, it’s great to be here and be part of this phenomenal site, so let’s get onto the links once you’re done ogling at Anna Kournikova, who I felt was the right one to start off with, a staple, an athlete (kinda), and hilariously married to a guy even she could school in any sport. One more of her after jump.

Bolt wins 3rd Gold Medal with another world record. Still can’t get over his name. A track star named Bolt even trumps a library cop named Mr. Bookman, although Bookman is still the bigger badass. (FoxSports)

This Merriman injury keeps getting worse. (LA Times)

Darius Miles relaunches his career as a high school phenom with the Celtics. Finley and his cigar face stay in San Antonio. (USA Today)

Jason Whitlock, the guy really needs to write about something serious, always with the jokes. (Kansas City Star)

So who has begun penning their ’softball must stay’ petition? (Indy Star)

I concur, Bela has been awesome. (Joe Sports Fan)

Crappy quarterback turned crappy third baseman turns back into crappy quarterback. (Yahoo Sports)

Pavano is eager. This should be good. (The Canadian Press)

You can now chat with a SportsCenter anchor, during SportsCenter! I’m boycotting this until you can virtually mess up John Kruk’s hair. (Awful Announcing)

Man makes record catch with Barbie fishing rod. If they pulled away in her pink corvette, I’d truly be impressed. (WRAL)

Tramp Stamps of the XXIX Olympiad. (Hugging Harold Reynolds)

Those in Boston scoff, but I still find Manny very amusing. (Boston Dirtdogs)

Cuban Taekwondo champ kicks Olympic ref in head. (Bloomberg)