Sizing Up the College Football Weekend
College Football October 2nd. 2008, 1:50pm
Lee Diekemper, briefly, on this weekend’s decidedly mediocre college football schedule.
Tonight
Pittsburgh at No. 10 South Florida, 7:30 p.m., ESPN
A trendy preseason darkhorse based largely on an upset win to close last season, Pittsburgh has recovered from an embarrassing opening-game loss to climb to 4-1. If the Panthers collapse, will Dave Wannstedt continue to live off of Jimmy Johnson’s name and find work possibly at in the CBS college sports both? Winner: South Florida.
Saturday
No. 13 Auburn at No. 19 Vanderbilt, 6 p.m., ESPN
Vanderbilt is ranked? Vanderbilt! No, this isn’t an F Troop rerun on Nick at Night. Should the Commodores somehow win, Auburn coach Tommy Tuberville will consult Phil Fulmer’s therapist. What’s next, Cpl. Agarn posthumously receiving a Silver Star? Winner: Tigers.
No. 5 Texas at Colorado, 7 p.m., FSN
Upset alert. While Texas is impressing pollsters with blowout wins, the scores are hiding the fact the Longhorns’ pass defense is getting lit up. [Ed. By terrible teams!] Look for Cody Hawkins to exploit this. To celebrate a Colorado win, Chris Fowler will have an intense personal workout session with Jennifer Dempster. Winner: Buffaloes. [Ed. Big 12 bonus upset alert: Texas Tech will have trouble at K-State.]
No. 23 Oregon at No. 9 USC, 8 p.m., ABC
Critics contend USC’s roster is filled with talented yet soft players. Pounding Oregon will dispel that belief. If the Ducks win, Rodney Peete will spend an entire special episode of the Best Damn Sports Show Period sitting on Tom Arnold’s lap. Winner: Trojans.
No. 14 Ohio State at No. 18 Wisconsin, 8 p.m., ABC
The loser can begin preparing for the Alamo Bowl. It’s quite possible the Badgers are overrated, something the Buckeyes are familiar with. Winner: Buckeyes.
Photo: Wiz of Odds
85 Responses to “Sizing Up the College Football Weekend”
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October 2nd, 2008 at 1:53 pm
“Winner: Buffaloes.”
Missing two offensive linemen. Hawkins is going to be on the run all day. Which might not be a bad thing for the style he plays. Should be a fun game and a great College Football Saturday.
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:53 pm
+1 for picking Colorado. -1,000,000 for the pic.
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:53 pm
uhhh – yes, yes, yes, motor boat for 10 hours straight, maybe
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Here’s how it’s really going to go:
Pitt: USF not deep enough
Vandy: Auburn isn’t that good
Colorado: Defense is actually good
Oregon: Is USC playing for anything now?
Wisconsin: I hate Ohio State
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Really you couldn’t find a better picture of IU girls tailgating?
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:55 pm
So this afternoon, Tampa gets to host their first MLB playoff game, followed by a nationally televised game by their Top-10 football team.
These sure are strange times we live in.
PS – I’d like to make that into a wet campus.
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Let’s play, “which one of these girls is not like the others?”
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Pittsburgh is 3-1.
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Kansas State will upset Texas Tech, Vanderbilt is beating Auburn.
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:57 pm
I’d put money on there not being any better pics of IU girls at all.
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:57 pm
@St Bear – I’ve spent the last 5 mins trying to come up with some sort of “dry campus / boobs” joke, and you topped anything I’ll think of.
/tip of the cap
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Vandy only needs about 9 points to beat Auburn, and we’ve had an extra week to prepare…
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:59 pm
@cbh49er – for the sake of college football, Texas Tech needs to win. We need Coach Leach in a major bowl game, just to see the opposing sideline when he has some wild formation. He would line up 9 receivers, if the rules allowed.
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Look at the tits on the one second from the right. She looks like fun.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:00 pm
+10000 St Bear
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:00 pm
find the fattest dick you can and then start sucking.
and you’d lose that money in a heartbeat…IU is quite a nice school for poonery
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:01 pm
I’d put money on you either being an idiot or going to Purdue.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:04 pm
now those are some Godzilla biscuits
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:06 pm
I am in Godzilla Biscuit heaven! That girl has enough for all the other girls. I am guessing DD cups? Any takers for DDD or Fs?
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Wisconsin might have the best Big Ten Poon.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Sparty-LOL. Those Skeezers looked wrecked.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:09 pm
G’s
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:09 pm
freakiest girls in the Big Ten belong to PSU.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:11 pm
oh, and Pitt sucks. they struggled with the Cuse.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:11 pm
There are 10,000 better looking chicks at IU. IU is either 1 or 1A for best looking chicks in the big ten. Wisconsin might be second. I’ve been to all the other schools. Just b/c the playboy issue doesn’t have them, doesn’t mean they aren’t there.
Go to Little 500 weekend and you will see what I mean.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:12 pm
“or the sake of college football, Texas Tech needs to win. We need Coach Leach in a major bowl game, just to see the opposing sideline when he has some wild formation.”
Amen. Also, KState isn’t any good. Tech may be wildly overrated. I have no clue how this game turns out, but it should be a good one as well.
Fun fact, after four weeks of college football, this is the first weekend that any Big 12 school will play another Big 12 school. With the exception of Mizzou, OU, aTm and Baylor, I have little clue how the league will go.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:13 pm
what a dog on the left? and those are some big tats on the girl in the grey!
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Penn State girls are middle of the road. Actually Iowa is pretty good as well. Michigan, Ohio State and Purdue are no bueno
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Wisconsin might have the best Big Ten Poon.
Eww, eww, eww, Yes.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:15 pm
osu will lose at Wisconsin. They know it, you know it, Zook knows it. Fin.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Pitt +13.5, buy the hook to 14.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Yes x 5, but only at the same time and with the lights dimmed.
And I can’t believe I’m suggesting this, but I’ll put in a vote for Northwestern–though I might just be remembering the sorority girls. Geographic diversity is a plus.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:16 pm
OSU has it’s good poon…when you have a student body over 60k, there just HAS to be a good number of good lookin’ poon.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:17 pm
There’s a great Simmons column at ESPN.com
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:17 pm
MSU takes the cake for Big Televen ass, it isn’t even close.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:17 pm
We always joke the Big East is equivalent to HS football, particularly since they always seem to play on Thursday and Friday nights.
God what a great 4 years it was. Really, the only schools with limited poon-tential in the Big 10 are U of M and Northwestern.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:18 pm
chb49er – how is the column great? Does it include zero references to the Sox, Celts, Pats, Cousin Sal, and Hench?
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:18 pm
i was trying to be modest. but yes, you are correct.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:18 pm
there is?
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:19 pm
It won’t be for you Al.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:19 pm
I can’t believe we are talking Big 10 poon. Visit any SEC school, or either ASU or UofA, then tell me about real poon.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Trouble putting up 60? KState gave up 37 to UL-La. Even if Tech’s defense isn’t anywhere close to as good as advertised, they still win by 3 scores.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:20 pm
best simmons has done in years.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:20 pm
I was thinking the same thing while reading it Spencer. I was actually going to recommend it to you because I know how much you like Manny.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Simmons column he-ah
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:21 pm
if there is a simmons “column” that does not include some reference to gambling, sox, celts, pats, bruins or hollywood in some form, it’s either ghostwritten or plagiarized.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:21 pm
yea…it was a fantastic read. right in his wheelhouse.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Damn Sparty, what happened to that chick on the left in that pic?
i’m with irish on the chick above, those very well may be G’s.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:22 pm
i can’t believe the arguments about schools with hottest chicks. all colleges have really hot chicks, some above average chicks, some fuckable ones and some mediocre ones… except michigan.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:22 pm
I guess maybe I’ve been spoiled by the schools in Florida. I just don’t see any of the girls in that pic being that great.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:23 pm
get this man a megaphone…preach it.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:23 pm
oh, and the University of North Texas and U. of Texas share the cake.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:24 pm
chb49er – how is the column great? Does it include zero references to the Sox, Celts, Pats, Cousin Sal, and Hench?
Well the first line is “When I was working for “Jimmy Kimmel Live” “… so he’s got a standard reference. And it’s about a former Sox player. That count?
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:24 pm
lmao…must be just how it is. chicks on the l/s of pics are just always weird looking.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Ole Miss has some of the best in the SEC.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:25 pm
don’t let SG see this. But Central Michigan has really nice tail.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:26 pm
That Simmons column had more footnotes than a CRM post.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:27 pm
except michigan.
Ive seen some decent black hoes that go to Michigan.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:29 pm
That Simmons column had more footnotes than a CRM post.
Yeah that was the only slightly annoying part.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:30 pm
indiana has a large elementary education school/major.
when in doubt, always go with the schools with a significant student population majoring in education. that’s why florida state is over the top with prime ass. all those chicks wanting to be teachers.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Ole Miss has some of the best in the SEC.
Yup. Ole Miss is a haven or hot rich southern girls who aren’t smart enough to make it into an elite private schools (thus more likely to do stuff to you).
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:31 pm
This has to be in the double digits for the times we have argued about ass on a school vs school basis. What a sad life we lead.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Guff. Disappointing picture. No, No, Maybe, hell yes, mom?!
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Ole Miss has some of the best in the SEC.
Shhh. That’s a sleeper.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:32 pm
You would assume Notre Dame has a bye since they were ignored.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:32 pm
@jimmy- Saturday, 3:30pm
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:39 pm
You know damn well you would bang the girl on the left. She is the definition of drunken whore.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:44 pm
August, I couldn’t have said it better myself about Ole Piss.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Why, sparty? What kind of reaction did you expect to see from me?
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Petey thought Stanford was a bye last year too. And Notre Dame is no Southern Cal… And that includes the Song Girls (to tie it in with the poon conversation).
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Stanford was a bye for Notre Dame last year and Notre Dame sucked tremendous balls last year. Notre Dame wins easy.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:59 pm
just messin with ya. i never know what to expect with you.
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:02 pm
SEC girls > Other girls.
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:03 pm
SEC girls > Other girls.
They fuck faster.
/Science
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:10 pm
It’s absolutely comical the girls you think were “not hot” in college now are “good enough” b/c the fact is you are a small fish in a big pond now that we are in the real world
/taking a 5th year was the best decision I’ve ever made
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Its all a numbers game people, at huge schools (of which B10 has quite a few), you have like 20-25000 girls under the age of 24. Thats more than the entire enrollment at most schools. Depending on your tastes, anywhere from 25%-50% are fuckable. I’ll take quantity over quality any day of the week.
/taking 6 years was the best decision ever
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:12 pm
They are good enough because they all gain 15 pounds after college.
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Diesel, did you just call me fat?
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Tremendous indeed.
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Sorry, most of them gain 15 pounds. Some were skinny to begin with so it doesn’t really matter.
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Need more pictures of girl number four…who is on it!
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Girl number 4 has a bit of a gut.
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Note to self, you CAN have camel toe when wearing jeans.
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:37 pm
If you couldn’t tell she had a gut from the first picture, then you need to get your eyes checked
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:21 pm
That Simmons column is a little hypocritical… he rips on Bonds (briefly) but defends Manny? Bonds never quit on his team, no matter what the circumstances (some may argue with this because of some speculating reporters last year, but they wouldn’t know what they’re talking about).