The NFL, the United Way and the Detroit Lions have announced their earth-shattering choice for halftime entertainment during the Thanksgiving Day Lions-Titans matchup, Jesse McCartney.  I had to google him.

Jesse McCartney was in an ill-fated boy band.  He’s famed for guest appearances on the Disney channel.  He has a frosted coif, not a whiff of facial hair and a negative testosterone count.  White or black, rich or poor, Democrat or Republican, Michigan or Michigan State, Detroit will have the same collective reaction when this pasty, harmless teenybopper takes the stage, “What the f—!”

Detroit doesn’t have much.  The economy is terrible.  The Lions are worse.  Through thankful tradition, we get one day a year of national prominence.  Could you choose a Detroit musician?

Cleveland named Rock N’Roll, Detroit invented it.  It brought the world Motown, Hard Rock and Techno.  Besides cheap pizza and poorly designed cars, Detroit’s greatest contribution to American culture is its music.  Celebrate it.

I understand the national television holiday constraints.  Eminem, Iggy Pop, The White Stripes and (gasp) Alice Cooper might be a bit too edgy for the Palin constituency.  Ted Nugent is kind of a nut job.  But, isn’t Bob Seger generic enough?  Who doesn’t love Stevie Wonder?  Would George Clinton inspire too much vitriol?  

Why not be creative and have The Funk Brothers with a medley of Motown artists?

Seriously, Jesse McCartney?