Besides The Game this weekend, there are a few other pivotal matchups that are worth putting off that haircut another day. It’s so wretchedly cold on the East Coast, you’d have to be Dave Chapelle-crazy to do anything besides stay indoors. These women go to Louisiana Tech. They don’t know, we think, Lee Diekemper, who muses about the games.

No. 17 Michigan State at No. 7 Penn State, 3:30 p.m., ABC
Poor JoePa. He can’t walk the sideline. He needs hip surgery. He likely saw his last chance at a national title vanish in the Iowa cornfields. And he will lose Saturday. Michigan State snaps its winless streak at Happy Valley since the Lions joined the Big Ten and Sparty will advance to the Rose Bowl. [Ed. Yes, everyone knows OSU loses to Meechigan Saturday.] In an effort to make amends with Erin Andrews after hitting her with a forearm shiver in previous tussles, JoePa will kiss her at halftime. Pick: Spartans.

No. 16 Brigham Young at No. 8 Utah, 6 p.m., MTN
The Utes have a shot at their second BCS berth (though Ball State and Boise State may disagree). Brigham Young is no pushover as its only loss was on the road to No. 24 TCU. The Cougars have won two straight against Utah but that streak ends Saturday. The loss so unnerves Steve Young that he mistakes Chris Berman for a Papa John’s deliveryman. Pick: Utes.

No. 21 Oregon State at Arizona, 7 p.m., Versus
Critics rolled their eyes when Penn State destroyed Oregon State and roundly mocked USC for losing to the Beavers at Corvallis. Who’s snickering now? Oregon State needs to win in balmy Tucson for its first Rose Bowl appearance since 1965. [Ed. Yes, they're beating Oregon, that's a lock.] True story: For good luck, Oregon State quarterback Lyle Moevao wears Sara Jean Underwood’s perfume. Pick: Beavers.

Florida State at No. 22 Maryland, 7:45 p.m., ESPN
Supporters brag the ACC is all about parity. Critics simply call it “dreck,” to be kind. Regardless, the Terrapins control their own destiny for a trip to Tampa and the ACC championship. With a Terrapins win, Maryland alumni and ESPN colleagues Bonnie Bernstein and Scott Van Pelt can be found Saturday night downing Cuervo shots together in darkened corner of ESPN’s Bristol compound. Fear the Turtle. Pick: Terrapins.

No. 2 Texas Tech at No. 5 Oklahoma, 8 p.m., ABC
The winner advances to the Big XXII title game and, barring a miracle, the BCS title game. Playing on the road will catch up with the Red Raiders. Combined with an offense that makes Florida’s look conservative (the Sooners average over 50 points a game), Oklahoma will leave Mike Leach mumbling to himself. In an unfortunate scene between mascots, the Sooner Schooner’s ponies, spooked by the Red Raiders’ guns, bolt into the Texas Tech band. Pick: Sooners.

* Photo, as usual, courtesy of The Wiz of Odds