This month’s issue of GQ Magazine is deceptively brilliant, and we are forced to use that adjective because it’s the only way to describe a spectacular issue in which annoyingly talented Justin Timberlake adorns the cover.

Tucked away on page 75, along the rail on the right, there’s a two-paragraph item about the literary prowess of Arizona Diamondbacks pitcher Miguel Batista. Up until reading this passage, you knew Batista for two reasons: A) Attempting to throw a baseball at the face of pretty-boy Tino Martinez during a brawl (as seen above), or B) As a once, maybe twice-a-season pickup in fantasy baseball.

GQ’s tiny, yet poignant item tells us about his published crime novel, Through the Eyes of the Law, which was released in January. Surely a gripping page-turner, it’s about a 14-year-old serial killer.

Here’s where it gets good – Miggy’s deep into his second novel, which is about a serial killer in the locker room (whose name probably isn’t Carl Everett). Batista’s former teammate, chat-room loving Curt Schilling, offered up his thoughts: “Can you imagine playing with a serial killer? We’re all here, and he’s thinking about killing somebody.” Batista’s response was, “Schilling, you’re going to deep.” You can’t make this stuff up.

Another reason the issue rules: The 10 biggest dickheads in movie history is pure genius. No. 2 is the douchebag from Wedding Crashers; the clear winner is Billy “Sweep the Leg, Johnny” Zabka of Karate Kid fame.

Yet another reason to buy the issue: The 10 worst sports contracts in the last decade, highlighted by pitcher Mike Hampton (8 years, $123 million from Colorado), center Erica Erick Dampier (7 years, $73 million from Dallas) and the entire 2005-06 Knicks team, including coach Larry Brown ($474,783 per win).