While we anxiously await the results of the second testosterone test to cyclist Floyd Landis, with the Tour de France title hanging in the balance, another athlete has become embroiled in an illegal doping situation: World Class sprinter Justin Gatlin.

It appears Gatlin tested positive for testosterone after an April 22 race, and is facing a two-year ban from the sordid track and field world, where an aura of impropriety hangs over the sport.

But fear not for Gatlin – he’s got a brilliant, foolproof defense. He was set up. By a masseuse.

U.S. sprinter Justin Gatlin unwittingly had testosterone cream rubbed into his legs by a massage therapist who carried a grudge against him before the April race at which he tested positive for steroids, Gatlin’s coach, Trevor Graham, said by phone yesterday.

Graham said Gatlin, who faces a lifetime ban from track and field for the positive test for the anabolic steroid, thought the cream was a harmless lotion. Graham said when he walked in on the massage session the therapist hurriedly stuffed a white jar of the substance in his pocket.

We have a new gold standard for athletes who employ the “It’s not my fault/drugs/weapon” defense. Gatlin’s “forget the happy ending, just don’t rub me down with steroids!” defense is far superior to these gems:

Barry Bonds – “My trainer, who was peddling steroids to large portions of the west coast, was giving me stuff, but I didn’t know what I was taking.”
Michael Irvin – “This crack pipe under the seat of my car? Never seen it before. My, uh, friend borrowed the car, maybe it’s his.”
Sebastian Telfair – “This gun in my pillow? Mr. Airport Screener, I’m really sorry. But my girlfriend put my gun in here. She’s going to hear about this one.”

Gatlin’s Coach Blames Massage Therapist (Washington Post)
Testosterone Seems to Be Enhancer of Choice (NY Times)