What happened to the Eddie Griffin, the man who helped out comedians everywhere earlier this summer when he pulled off the unholy trinity of drunk driving while watching porn and masturbating?

Not much. Apparently, the Timberwolves, have made the moronic move of trying to help the thug out, sending him to Houston to work with reformed drug user and one-time NBA guard John Lucas.

Still, it’s sad to see the T-Wolves keeping this delinquent on the payroll, and almost as bad to see a newspaper print this paragraph:

Griffin, who recently got in trouble with the law after a car accident and is alleged to have had other problems connected with that incident, has convinced Wolves authorities that the incident will be proven to have been blown way out of proportion once his story is told.

What, you can’t say he was busted jacking off to porn? Anyway …

The most interesting note is this potentially blockbuster email from a reader. Just for the sake of argument (and because our lawyer told us to), we’re going to throw in “allegedly” a few times:

Those guys at Santana foods [allegedly] sell guns. The cops [allegedly] protect Santana Foods and get paid for it. Griffin probably never masturbated in his SUV. The cop and that guy at Santana’s [allegedly] tried to extort all that money and Griffin’s lawyer’s said no (that’s why he didn’t get a DWI. IT MAKES TOTAL SENSE. DON’T YOU SEE!!!). They’d rather defend him in court (duh, there are no other witnesses besides the Santana guy who the lawyers will prove tried to extort money from him). For chrissakes he must be on tape. That’s why the news story didn’t break until much later (the santana guy brought it to channel 4 after the failed extortion).

Berry, berry interesting.

EARLIER: The Plight of Public Masturbator Eddie Griffin

PS – Nope, that photo is not remotely recent. It is the single, solitary professional highlight in the lowly career of Eddie Griffin, and we figured we might as well throw this criminal a bone.