Was Pedro Guerrero Really This Wild and Crazy in the 80s?
Baseball July 30th. 2007, 4:17pm
Is Pedro Guerrero some kind of folk hero or something? Friday, we posted an old baseball card with Pedro’s glamorous mug on the front. A few folks emailed in tales of the lumbering 80s slugger. By far, what you are about to read is the best one we received. We must preface it, though, by telling you we have no idea if there is an ounce of truth to this story. We’re going to avoid year, place and names to protect the innocent:
Once upon a time, at a celebrity golf tournament on planet earth, someone was paired up with Steve Sax and Pedro Guerrero. “Pedro starts telling this story about this one time he hooked up with this chick down in his hometown in the Dominican Republic. So Pedro and this chick are going at it when her husband walks in. Pedro starts apologizing to this guy, but since Pedro is a hero in his hometown, the guy is fine with it. In fact, they start double teaming her. This leads to the following exchange between Pedro and Sax:
Pedro: “I’m fucking her. He’s fucking her. She’s sucking my cock. He’s sucking my cock.€
Steve: “Pedro, he’s sucking your cock? Isn’t that kinda gay?â€
Pedro: “No, man. He’s sucking my cock.€
Oy. Because, you know, only giving BJ’s is “kinda gay.” Receiving is totally hetero.
18 Responses to “Was Pedro Guerrero Really This Wild and Crazy in the 80s?”
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July 30th, 2007 at 4:31 PM
Pedro’s other explanation: “It’s not gay if the guy sucking your cock isn’t gay.”
July 30th, 2007 at 4:35 PM
hey, a mouth is a mouth right ? what ?
July 30th, 2007 at 4:49 PM
1. I always was searching for a reason Steve Sax made the Simpsons softball episode, and hallelujah, the Holy Grail has been found.
2. The only thing funnier than this, is that Pedro is a dead ringer for Roadblock from GI Joe.
July 30th, 2007 at 5:02 PM
“That power line has enough juice to fry an elephant.” – Roadblock in GI Joe PSA
July 30th, 2007 at 5:16 PM
Upstate: And the corollary to that is: A hole’s a hole.
I guess being a pitcher doesn’t make you gay, just being a catcher. Hello Mike Piazza.
July 30th, 2007 at 5:20 PM
Rookie of the Year would have been a terrible movie if Pedro wasn’t in it
July 30th, 2007 at 5:30 PM
“football bat” gay. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that)
July 30th, 2007 at 6:21 PM
Not to get all lawerly on you, because it’s a darn funny story, but this would be considered reckless disregard for the truth or falsity of the matter, right? I mean, just so we’re all clear.
July 30th, 2007 at 6:36 PM
He passed Diversity Training.
Good job Pedro!
July 30th, 2007 at 6:38 PM
If only Matt Stone and Trey Parker could have consulted with Pedro before that South Park ep last season…
July 30th, 2007 at 6:38 PM
I don’t care of that story’s true or not, it’s great!
July 30th, 2007 at 6:39 PM
Wasn’t there a 9-11 call that Jim Rome used to play where OJ is telling the police that his daughter is doing drugs with Pedro?
July 30th, 2007 at 6:43 PM
For 80s baseball player crazy, I still draft Kevin Mitchell in the top spot. The man decapitated his wife’s cat while not allowing Doc Gooden to leave the house. When you’re freaking out Doc Gooden in the 1980s, you’ve got to be bringing the crazy.
July 30th, 2007 at 7:38 PM
an old Onion headline: “Man Wonders Why All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking His Cock”
It’s only gay if you take it. That’s what Jim Edmonds said.
July 30th, 2007 at 7:38 PM
an old Onion headline: “Man Wonders Why All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking His Cock”
It’s only gay if you take it. That’s what Jim Edmonds said.
July 30th, 2007 at 8:12 PM
I wish I could unsee this story.
July 30th, 2007 at 9:49 PM
Disturbing. The Pacman to TNA post should have been here!!!! How are you guys not all over that by now???
July 31st, 2007 at 6:05 AM
Pedro always could hit with men in scoring position.