Who’s Got the Better Athlete Resume, Alyssa Milano or Gabrielle Union?
Athletes and Celebrities October 17th. 2007, 9:11am
So we all know Alyssa Milano is doing a bang-up job over at the Hot Corner. Her interviews make us want to ask her how the heck she’s remained so damn cute through the years. We also want to ask about a certain screen grab from Fear and just about everything from Poison Ivy II (NSFW).
But a friend – let’s call him TBL2 – offered a question that stumped us: Milano and Gabrielle Union have dated more athletes than any other celebrity on the planet, and in terms of bragging rights, who’s got it?
Milano’s had plenty of rumored hookups, but these four pitchers are the ones we’ll count: Josh Beckett, Brad Penny, Barry Zito, and Carl Pavano. Props for Beckett, since he’s on his way to becoming a postseason legend. Penny … eh. It’s not like he’s a Hall of Famer. Zito was on his way to greatness, but he just had a terrible season in San Fran. No need to mention Carl Pavano, who has been a complete waste of space (and $39 million) since joining the Yankees.
Union has fluctuated between the NBA and the NFL, and even found time for a ballplayer: Jason Kidd, Chris Howard, Darren Sharper and Derek Jeter. According to wikipedia, Union and Kidd dated while they were superstar high school athletes (she went on to play college soccer), and may or may not have re-connected earlier this year. Hey … at least he’s a Hall of Famer. Chris Howard was her ex-husband, a running back at Michigan (he played with Brady!) who played for a minute in the NFL. Sharper’s a pretty good NFL defensive back with 50 career interceptions. Jeter? You know how he rolls. Hall of Fame on the field. Even more impressive off of it.
This one seems simple to us: Union. There’s probably some kind of trophy she deserves for nabbing athletes. Anyone got any ideas?
15 Responses to “Who’s Got the Better Athlete Resume, Alyssa Milano or Gabrielle Union?”
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October 17th, 2007 at 9:25 AM
I’m sick of the way these two treat men like pieces of meat.
October 17th, 2007 at 9:30 AM
Alyssa can use me as man meat any day.
October 17th, 2007 at 9:36 AM
Clearly the trophy should be a collection of balls.
October 17th, 2007 at 9:37 AM
Rumor was Union was with Wade about a minute after he announced he was getting a divorce. Question though. If you’re an actress with no discernable talent, do you put “Jeter’s mattress” on your resume when going on an audition?
October 17th, 2007 at 9:38 AM
Jewel-encrusted penis statue perhaps?
October 17th, 2007 at 9:45 AM
What? You didn’t like Union in classics such as “Bring It On,” “Cradle 2 The Grave” and “Daddy’s Little Girls?”
Wade clearly is not the powerhouse carrying that rumor.
October 17th, 2007 at 9:45 AM
Don’t forget Embrace of the Vampire.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109723/
Just as godawful as the rest of her resume. I guess being a slut keeps you in the limelight. She’s basically a groupie that has her SAG card. I really don’t understand TBL’s obsession with her.
October 17th, 2007 at 9:57 AM
At least Gabrielle has diversified her conquests, unlike Alyssa Milano who has targeted solely baseball players. I’d give the edge to Union for conquering athletes from multiple sports. It doesn’t take much skill to get a baseball player. Besides, I think it’s tacky to boast about it like Milano is doing. Looks trashy and makes her “blog” even more ridiculous than it already is. Edge: Union.
October 17th, 2007 at 10:00 AM
Union. And if she dated Kidd in H.S., does that mean she is from the Bay Area?
October 17th, 2007 at 10:05 AM
Didn’t Union also date Adewale Ogunleye from the Bears?
October 17th, 2007 at 10:28 AM
Here’s the really odd question: These two women can get just about any guy they want. So what’s with the obsession with athletes?
October 17th, 2007 at 10:44 AM
“So what’s with the obsession with athletes?”
For as used as their vaginas are, they are actually smart. It’s much easier to keep yourself in the tabloids if you are dating someone famous. Sure, they could date actors, but actors don’t like VD. Athletes don’t care.
That is a hell of a theory I just came up with. And it makes little sense. Nobel Peace Prize for me next year.
October 17th, 2007 at 10:51 AM
Union, for the fact that she’s got a more diversified portfolio. It’d be classic if she started dating someone from the NHL just to complete the grand slam.
NY Daily News has a gossip item this morning where she admits to having a “girl-crush” on the supersmoking Eva Mendes (oh, how many 0-16 Dolphin seasons I would gladly trade to be a fly on the wall for that….)
I’ve always considered Alyssa Milano to be overrated anyway. If I were gonna make a list of the 20 hottest women in the world, I really doubt her name would come up. Hell, I’d even take that CBS Baghdad correspondent Lara Logan before her.
October 17th, 2007 at 11:52 AM
These are some pretty solid comments, fellas. Impressive work.
October 17th, 2007 at 6:58 PM
Milano is only a Mark Redman and a Dontrelle Willis away from being able to claim an entire WS champ rotation. http://www.baseball-reference.com/player_search.cgi?search=2003+marlins&Search+for+Player%2C+League+or+Team.x=0&Search+for+Player%2C+League+or+Team.y=0