No need to hold back: Beano Cook is a national treasure. He had our hearts at, “Ron Powlus will win two or three Heisman trophies at Notre Dame.” We have been enjoying his ESPN videos, but his chat last week took us over the edge. Below, we will present you with many of his unintentionally funny answers. You don’t even need to know the questions to fully embrace his humor. Our list of favorite ESPN “personalities” begins and ends with Cook. Brace yourself for his candor. Just a taste, here’s Beano on the Virginia Tech QB situation last weekend: “I would be lying to you if I told you I knew who should start. I have no idea.” This is something Mark May would never say, because Mark May knows all.

On Charlie Weis:: I think Weis must change his temperment. I think he’s a little bit cocky.

On the Heisman: It’s like, presidents don’t come from Montana. They come from big states, in most cases.

On Politics: But there’s a chance that UConn can go to a BCS bowl. That’s amazing. You have something to be happy about instead of complaining about the high taxes in your state. What the politicians do to you in your state is highway robbery.

On Kansas: Until this season, the only two things people talked about with Kansas was basketball and Dorothy and the dog, whose name escapes me right now.

On Politics, Again: I’ve never seen a Georgia-Auburn game. You could say life has cheated me. The politicians do it on a daily basis, however.

On technology: I don’t have an e-mail address and that’s one of the smartest thigns I’ve ever done. I got rid of my rotary phone a few years ago. That’s the only progress I’ve made in recent years.

On partying: I love what they used to call the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. It’s like an airplane, it used to be the cockpit, now it’s the flight deck.

[Ed. Someone down South help us - what is the flight deck? Is this a Cook-ism, or fact?]

On opinions: It’s just my opinion. It doesn’t mean I’m right. Ever since I thought Jim Brown would be an average back in the NFL, I don’t take my opinions seriously.

On alternative work: However, when coaches are making all that money, it’s tough to sympathize. If it’s too much, work at Burger King.

On pop culture: If Oregon plays for the national title, I understand John Belushi will be there. I heard it straight from a friend of his in the Animal House.

On the song girls: It’s unfair that the USC Song Girls only appear at USC games. They are a national treasure. They should visit other teams across the country.

Beano Cook Chat Wrap (ESPN.com)