Don’t ask. We’re not thrilled with photoshopped pictures, but this one’s pretty damn hilarious. Jorts rule. AHHHHHH BREAKING NEWS!! JESSICA ALBA IS PREGNANT! SAY IT ISN’T SO! So much this fine, fine derriere.

Minnesota 88, Washington 102 – The Wiz sure are playing well without Gil Arenas. Jamison, Caron and Brenda all had double doubles, and Roger Mason (UVa represent!) had 17 points in 23 minutes as Washington improved to 11-10. Also, rookie Nick Young is a fantastic dancer. Even though Minnesota fell to 3-16, Craig Smith went for a career-high 36 points.

Los Angeles Clippers 91, New Jersey 82 – The Nets missed 15 straight shots in the fourth quarter – with Vince Carter getting booed during his bricks and airballs - and lost at home. Chris Kaman and Tim Thomas split 36 points for the Paper Clips, who improved to 9-12. Jason Kidd had another triple-double, but perhaps more importantly, he didn’t have a turnover. Still, the Nets’ fourth straight loss dropped them to 9-14.

Seattle 96, Chicago 123 – Perfect elixir for a ream that can’t shoot – the Seattle defense. Ben Gordon scored 27 and the Bulls shot 53 percent from the floor. Kevin Durant led the Sonics with 16, four below his average.

San Antonio 84, Golden State 96 – Don’t read too much into this one, because Duncan didn’t play and Matt Bonner (the redhead!) scored 25 points and took 17 rebounds in a losing effort. Stephen Jackson led the Warriors (12-9) with 20 points.

Indiana 105, Cleveland 118 – Jamaal Tinsley returned to the court since being shot at, and it appears he left his jumper (4-for-12, 10 points) and defense in the Bentley (to be fair, everyone on Indy seemed uninterested in defending). How else to explain Larry Hughes having his first good offensive game (13-for-17, 36 points) in years? LeBron is back from the finger injury (17 points in 22 minutes) and Sideshow Bob played his first game since signing his new deal, and he had six points and nine rebounds in 23 minutes.