Early NFC Playoff Banter
NFL December 31st. 2007, 10:02am
No need to ruminate on what happened this weekend in the NFL – because nothing of consequence went down. Did anyone out there have the same thoughts as we did when Kerry Collins stumbled onto the field to try and guide the Titans to the playoffs against the Colts reserves? Our second thought was, ‘hey, this looks like the preseason!’ but our first was, ‘no shot.’ The only thing more impressive than Collins’ efficiency was his postgame flannel.
* New York Giants at Tampa Bay Bucs – The rubes (read: common folk) will think, ‘hey, the Giants nearly beat the Patriots, the Giants are 7-1 on the road this year, and just how the hell are the Bucs a playoff team with a lucky balding guy at QB and a third-string RB?’ You’re smarter than that, and you know the pick is Tampa Bay! If you take New York, you might be kicking yourself when ageless Joey Galloway repeatedly burns the porous Giants secondary. Or, when Eli Manning is sacked five times. If you’re looking for subplots … who is the Giant most likely to get embroiled in Tampa’s hot strip club scene this week? How often will Jeff Garcia’s incredibly gorgeous wife get airtime Saturday? Oh, and lastly, a fact you can use! Tampa has the third best scoring defense in the NFL, and is tops against he pass. Also, Garcia beat the Giants in the playoffs last year, but mostly it was thanks to Brian Westbrook. We won’t make a pick until later in the week, but we’re thinking Tampa at -2.5 right now.
* Washington Redskins at Seattle Seahawks – The Redskins are the hottest team in the NFC. The immobile (indomitable!) Todd Collins has been downright Montana-like in four games to close the season. And to think we once disparaged his name, saying that Eli Manning was better than him! The Skins are going to be a sexy pick because of their late-season momentum, because Seattle isn’t the same dominant home team it was two years ago (when it beat Washington, 20-10 in the playoffs), and because Shaun Alexander is brittle (he barely played in that playoff victory). This game is slightly tougher to predict than the Bucs game, and right now, we’re not sure what to do with the as Skins four-point dogs. This game almost certainly feels like it will be decided by a field goal, whereas the Giants, it seems, are a feast or famine team. In the last four weeks, the Skins have been gold for us against Chicago, Minnesota, and Dallas (still can’t believe we fell for the Giants – arg). Our early guess would be Washington at +4, but that’s nothing we’d wager on yet.
* The AFC is next, but first … we finally hit some form of perfection this week with our picks, depending on how you judge such suchery. The Eagles were a push … so we went 5-for-5 if you exclude that game.
* Lastly, the Atlanta Falcons are the real loser this weekend. Had they inserted DeAngelo Hall at QB, they would have lost and had the 2nd pick in the NFL Draft. Now, they are in a logjam for third with St. Louis and the NY Jets. Going from 2nd to 5th would almost certainly mean no Darren McFadden, or even the chance to dangle him as trade bait. Third wouldn’t be as bad, but it still seems too early to grab Brian Brohm. The Patriots get the 7th pick, and the Rams 2nd.
37 Responses to “Early NFC Playoff Banter”
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December 31st, 2007 at 10:15 AM
fuck the titans…take off fat albert and they don’t have shit.
enjoy watching LT run over you for fucking 200 assholes. eat a bullet.
December 31st, 2007 at 10:18 AM
Hey Spencer, it doesn’t matter who your running back is or how your defense is playing, YOU STILL HAVE NORVELL TURNER ON THE SIDELINES!!!!!!
Have fun with that choke job.
Plus, our D-Line is gonna turn Rivers into a Ryan Leaf clone by half-time…
December 31st, 2007 at 10:18 AM
wow Spencer … i assume all Browns fans feel that way. A bit depressed here, too.
December 31st, 2007 at 10:19 AM
How do they break ties for draft picks? I know the Browns had to flip for it last year, but what do they do if there are multiple teams tied?
December 31st, 2007 at 10:19 AM
Buffalo vs Pittsburgh outside hockey New Years Day @ 1pm
ralph wilson stadium, 75,000 people + Needs a post
lets go BUCS, garcia is a savior for this team. worst in the division last year and they win the division this year. must be his fine wife carmella that takes care of his old balding ass. But hey Gruden likes old guy QB’s. Garcia still has the hottest wife in the NFL.
December 31st, 2007 at 10:22 AM
ahhh spence; your a Browns fan… didn’t get that from the first comment!
December 31st, 2007 at 10:26 AM
august, im a browns fan, i could care less about the chargers.
TBL…itd be one thing if the titans at least resembled their earlier form when fat albert was damn near unstoppable, but to see a team get in where the QB’s have combined for 9 TD passes all year? Come on. Yea, the titans D is about as good as the Browns O, but at the same time, it just sucks to see such a crap team in the playoffs.
i cant be too salty tho, our team blew our own chance so its not like the titans dont deserve it, but watching a titans game is kind of like watching paint dry.
December 31st, 2007 at 10:27 AM
august…yea i didnt really specify, my bad.
December 31st, 2007 at 10:35 AM
Is that photo the same guy who had the sign for the Giants game? The one that said, “Giant fans are gay, like their quarterback”.
Tremendous!
December 31st, 2007 at 10:36 AM
spencer096,
I can’t imagine a more soul-crushing way to get shut-out of the playoffs. I’m ecstatic my guys made it in, but damn that’s rough for you folks.
December 31st, 2007 at 10:40 AM
Sadly spence, your Browns did themselves in against the Bengals. But look at it from the good side: all that talent you’ve been drafting for the past 5 years finally stayed healthy and came together. Things continue as they appear and they’ll be a contender for postseason football for the nex few years.
As for the playoff games:
- Giants at Bucs: You’ll know quickly whether or not the Bucs are going to run away with this one because when they start hot, they just don’t get beat. (Ask Saints fans. We know). If it’s halftime and it’s 24-7 to the Bucs, the game’ll be over. You’ll be asking the Giants to air it out for the 2nd half — and daring Eli Manning to beat a very tough defense.
- Skins at Hawks: I don’t know when’s the last meaningful game the Seahawks played. Meanwhile the Skins have been running on emotion and guts for what feels like a solid month. One of these two things will give out. Either the Seahawks won’t be able to turn it on now or the Redskins will finally come back to Earth.
December 31st, 2007 at 10:46 AM
Yes, Dornoch, it is. The guy moves mountains.
December 31st, 2007 at 10:50 AM
yea, honestly, last night, i was too sick to really even give a shit. i was disappointed, but fine with it. it wasnt until this morning when it set in.
this morning, reading the plain dealer, i felt the exact same way i felt after breaking up with my first serious gf. it was like, well those 16 weeks after the pit debacle was something ill never forget, the enthusiasm was awesome. the entire city was brimming with optimism, we actually believed we were a good team. you could talk to anyone here and theyd immediately perk up and act like we werent living in a midwestern shithole.
then it all came crashing down. we get beat by a team full of retards and primadonnas who happen to have the most ignorant, bandwagoning, fair-weathered fans in the NFL in the ugliest fashion possible immediately following a week where the 82,000 fans packed Browns Stadium in the middle of a blizzard.
then we return to form and get another solid performance from our defense only to see an inferior team squeak by only because their opponent decided to rest their starters halfway thru the 2nd.
it feels like the last 16 weeks were completely meaningless. 10-6 doesnt heal years of 4-12 seasons knowing full well that nobody really wants to stay in cleveland and our time with k2 and braylon is numbered (dont even mention lebron). it was the EXACT same feeling as breaking up…the great memories dulled by a huge letdown and hope that things will get better only to have the reality that its over come smack you in the face later on.
sucks pretty hard.
December 31st, 2007 at 10:54 AM
@spence: Ditto
December 31st, 2007 at 11:03 AM
@Spence/@Brave: What are your thoughts on keeping Romeo? Lewis?
December 31st, 2007 at 11:04 AM
@spencer096
Tell the “ignorant fans” comment to the Browns fan who threatened to sucker punch me in the back of the head, in front of his 10-ish yr old kid no less, outside PBS after Bengals-Browns a couple of weeks ago. I did nothing to instigate this (not that I haven’t in the past).
I won’t disagree with your “team full of retards and primadonnas” comment however.
December 31st, 2007 at 11:09 AM
well…browns fan behavior is pretty well documented. we need to get our aggression out somehow seeing as we cant throw dog biscuits at opposing players anymore. anyways, i meant ignorant as in not knowing jack shit about football.
ET…gotta keep Jamal, but the browns would be smart still going after Michael Turner or maybe drafting another solid back. Romeo covered his ass. hes a great players coach, but have you seen his challenging record? he is horrible managing the clock and timeouts and hes still indecisive as all hell (DA saved his ass). if cowher was willing to come back, id make a play for him. if miami really wants to try and get romeo, fuck it, take the compensation and let him go and promote King Chud to HC.
December 31st, 2007 at 11:12 AM
I know this might sound crazy but I have not seen the Bucs play all year. Did I miss their National Television appearance or was it blocked out in New York because the Jets were playing at home? I have no feel for this team, as a Giant fan I think the game is a toss up, I would be surprised if it was a blow out though.
Went to the game on Saturday night and I tell you, up by 12 in the third I got sucked in, the crowd was excellent, the emotion was real for a meaningless game, and I was glad I went. Plus Eli made a thread the needle throw to Plax on the run for a TD, that never happens. I have hope, a good season right now would be a win in Tampa and getting another shot at Romo. Beating the Cowboys would make my year, even if they lost in Green Bay the next week. I am not saying they will win, but that would be great.
December 31st, 2007 at 11:14 AM
spencer096
Mixed blessing year in Cleveland, no championships but you have had a great run, lets not be too bitter about an NBA finals, an ALCS team and a 10-6 Brown squad. I know, you would trade it all for one parade in the last twenty years but things are improving.
December 31st, 2007 at 11:18 AM
yea, it couldve been worse. we could have been the falcons this year.
but cleveland still has OSU to rest their hopes on. if the last comment from me comes on Jan 7, i probably instituted myself.
December 31st, 2007 at 11:30 AM
Skins fans are already talking like they’re a world-beater for winning against a Dallas team that rested players and had zero to play for. Can’t wait for the Bucs to stomp them.
Also, I’m positive that my Steelers are going to get destroyed.
December 31st, 2007 at 11:31 AM
TBL, not sure why NBC will be showing Jeff Garcia’s wife during the Steeler/Jag game but I would take the Under.
December 31st, 2007 at 11:37 AM
oh, is Giants/Bucs on Sunday?
December 31st, 2007 at 11:47 AM
Sunday at 1:00, Schedule is Skins/Seahawks, Sat 4:30 Jags/Steelers,8:15 Giants/Bucs Sun 1:00, Titans/Chargers. Sun 4:15? 30?
December 31st, 2007 at 11:48 AM
I LOVE Browns fans. I am officially jumping on their bandwagon for the next decade.
December 31st, 2007 at 11:48 AM
sunday 1 pm and the irishmafia will be there to yell obscenities
December 31st, 2007 at 11:49 AM
Giants going to Strip Club, Does Shockey still count? If no I go with Corey Webster, angry about being the last DB on the depth chart, screw it I am not playing anyway, lets stay out. Or Lawrence Tynes, those Scottish lads can put away a few pints.
December 31st, 2007 at 11:50 AM
Giants/Bucs Sunday at one on FOX…Joe Buck will be OUTRAGED at Garcia’s wife Cleavage..he only likes rubbing Todd Zeile’s feet
December 31st, 2007 at 11:50 AM
As a Steelers fan, I am all for showing Jeff Garcia’s wife during the Steelers/Jag game. If our run defense/tackling is anything like it was on Sunday, her pics will be the highlight of my day.
December 31st, 2007 at 11:55 AM
@ET: Romeo was probably more lucky than good. Like Spence said, he’s awful with challenges and clock management. We’re finally getting good players around here, so I’m going to withhold judgment on him and give him one more year to see if this was a fluke or not (ala Butch Davis). Gut reaction is that we could use a better coach, but I don’t have a real burning desire to fire him.
As for Lewis, he’s going to get paid, but we have the cap space, so sure, let’s go for it. Turner would be good though too. I still want cap space to fix our defense somewhat, it was a revolving door against the run this year.
@Ted: I can handle massive failure with the Browns better than close but not quite. The other teams…I’m glad they did well and they gave me great things to cheer about.
December 31st, 2007 at 12:36 PM
Superb Todd Zeile reference
December 31st, 2007 at 12:38 PM
Go Bucs!!!
December 31st, 2007 at 12:45 PM
Carmella DeCesare + cold Heinz Field = Happy 412! But…unfortunately, I’m guessing Carmella will be in toasty Tampa this weekend to watch Jeff Garcia and the rest of the Sistas take on the G-men.
December 31st, 2007 at 1:06 PM
I’m staying the hell away from Washington/Seattle. No idea what the hell to expect from either team. You’re nuts if you bet on that one.
Eli on the road against one of the best defenses in football = cha ching!
December 31st, 2007 at 2:26 PM
How is Albert Haynesworth not the MVP of the NFL? The Titans are like 0-5 with him and 10-1 with him (that isn’t actually true but it feels that way).
December 31st, 2007 at 4:16 PM
I think Giants-Bucs game will be a great test of how to finish the season. The Bucs have basically coasted and let guys rest for the last 3 weeks. The Giants played their guts out to the final gun of the final game. It will be very interesting to see which approach wins out in this situation. I think Bucs win based on their defense forcing Manning into mistakes.
January 1st, 2008 at 5:06 PM
Warning to all those salivating over possible Carmella sightings–she is six months pregnant and apparently blowing up like a balloon complete with double chin.