Kimbo Slice vs. Brock Lesnar: Who Wins?
MMA, UFC February 18th. 2008, 1:49pm
Even if you’re not a UFC fan, and you don’t care for grown men beating one another to a bloody pulp, you can probably recognize the fact that the man in this photo is an absolute force. His name is Kimbo Slice, and this weekend, he destroyed some fat bastard named Tank Abbott. We profess to having little or no UFC knowledge, and a friend who passionately follows the sport recently told us that Kimbo will never have a chance to hold the best titles because he’s a brawler, and the dudes that know jujitsu will take the fight to the mat and lock him into a submission hold. But we’re curious about your thoughts on two brawlers: Kimbo Slice and Brock Lesnar. Who wins? We’d love to see this fight. Two guys built like tanks slugging it out … we’d actually lean toward Kimbo, even if Lesnar has a big edge with his wrestling background. When we see Kimbo, all we can think of is Mike Tyson in his prime. The man is a machine. Who wouldn’t read a massive profile on his background? Why’d he leave the U after a year and a half? Six kids at 34 … is he boys with Shawn Kemp?
40 Responses to “Kimbo Slice vs. Brock Lesnar: Who Wins?”
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February 18th, 2008 at 1:55 PM
kimbo is a fucking menace.. i would take him in a fight over anyone, liddel included..
February 18th, 2008 at 1:55 PM
anyone who went to the U gets my vote
February 18th, 2008 at 1:55 PM
i know i dont like it because of the people who just go for submission holds, i dont see how anyone other than ex-wrestlers can enjoy that. which would explain why they like watching dudes in tiny tiny shorts hold each other. but two brawlers i would watch, which is why i watch boxing.
February 18th, 2008 at 1:57 PM
Kimbo will kick just about anyone’s ass in a brawl, but TBL’s friend is right, Slice won’t stand a chance against most of the UFC due to his lack of grabbling, wrestling and martial arts skills. Lesnar is in the same boat on some issues, particularly martial arts/submissions, but at least he has the wrestling background and acknowledges he needs to work on the other areas.
February 18th, 2008 at 1:59 PM
kimbo is not just some slugger guys.. bas rutten taught him a lot of the submission guillotine form of UFC after all his street fights.. he faught mercer and cantrell before this and beat one of them by putting him in a guillotine and getting the dude to tap out.. he can obviously out slug anyone, but i think he would surprise every1 if he faught someone who was better on the ground, he can hold his own
February 18th, 2008 at 2:02 PM
Lesnar would own him.
Who has Kimbo fought, anyway – a couple of guys in their mid-40s?
February 18th, 2008 at 2:03 PM
tank abott used to be crazy in the ufc. he once tried to throw a guy over and out of the cage. now, he is mr. used to be relevant. kimbo wrecked that guy, and i have to imagine if he fought lester, he could end it if he is able to stay standing. if lesner gets him to the ground, lesner wins.
February 18th, 2008 at 2:06 PM
lesnar got owned by Frank Mir because he got Lesnar to the ground so there goes that one
February 18th, 2008 at 2:07 PM
Back in the day this dude could have done something. Back when they had your local drunk brawler in the octagon (see:Tank Abbot) Back then the Gracies killed because they had ground game and submissions. Now, these brawlers don’t stand a chance unless they learn ground game. You used to see guys like Shamrock who could punch and had little ground game become successful because nobody had any ground game. Now, if you dont have ground, you are done. Liddell is pretty much finished because he is getting old, some will counter that with the “Natural” argument, which is valid, but Couture really had a perfect storm happen to get back to where he is now. He is great and I like him, but he got a little lucky to get that belt back from Silva.
February 18th, 2008 at 2:15 PM
Hacksaw Jim Duggan and his 2×4 would masacre these guys.
February 18th, 2008 at 2:16 PM
Floyd Mayweather vs. The Big Show is more compelling to me.
February 18th, 2008 at 2:22 PM
Lesnar isn’t a brawler, he’s a former amateur wrestling champ.
February 18th, 2008 at 2:26 PM
Is Kimbo Slice the guy from that “In the VIP” website? Not that I watch internet porn or anything…
February 18th, 2008 at 2:27 PM
Is Kimbo Slice the guy from that “In the VIP†website? Not that I watch internet porn or anything…
This may be the funniest comment posted in 2008. ANd i think your answer is yes. LOL
February 18th, 2008 at 2:28 PM
Kimbo wouldn’t last two minutes with the lower class of heavyweights in the UFC. He would last with the top half of the middleweights in the UFC. He is a boxer with no ground game. You can talk all you want about Bas helping him out but EVERYONE has someone helping them out. The differnce is Kimbo has had Bas helping him for nine months and EVERYONE else has had someone helping them for twenty years. Big difference. Don’t get caught up in the Slice Hype. He is fun to watch, though.
February 18th, 2008 at 2:28 PM
@the Maj
I know he was a championship wrestler at Iowa or wherever, but I was a championship swimmer back in 2001 and you certainly don’t see me dominating in the pool. I am just saying he has been out of real wrestling for some time now. I respect him and all, but he isn’t “for real” in the MMA. He has no chance in that world.
February 18th, 2008 at 2:29 PM
patiently waits for “in the VIP” link
February 18th, 2008 at 2:31 PM
guess theres another post on kidd coming sometime soon, but has this crap of trading retired players been around forever or did it just start happening? i mean keith van horn is the lynchpin of the trade for an allstar pointguard? this league fucking sucks
February 18th, 2008 at 2:32 PM
@Gonzo–if I’m not mistaken, I think it’s just inthevip.com, or something close to that…not sure, I’m at work. And I haven’t been to that site in a while–no, really!!
February 18th, 2008 at 2:33 PM
this league fucking sucks
I wouldn’t say it FUCKING sucks, but it’s pretty damn close to that Moleman. How many times have we seen players signed to multi year deals then they take a break the first few years of the contract ?
February 18th, 2008 at 2:33 PM
gonzo, it ain’t coming … that’s a google you’ll have to do at your home. preferably not around your wife or kids.
February 18th, 2008 at 2:34 PM
Yeah, i realized that after i hit submit. I forgot we cant post porn here. no worries dude.
February 18th, 2008 at 2:35 PM
Kimbo Slice is “in the VIP” getting a slice. Luckily I’m off work and could view the site.
February 18th, 2008 at 2:36 PM
@Maggs – Yeah, but Lesnar has been working in an athletic field that requires him to be in top shape. It’s not like he’s been working in an office. Lesnar has a shot to become a legitimate contender.
February 18th, 2008 at 2:38 PM
@ CRM- So you are saying that if Maggs still lifeguarded at the local water park than he could compete in swimming on a national level?
February 18th, 2008 at 2:38 PM
Was Maggs a world class swimmer?
February 18th, 2008 at 2:39 PM
Don’t forget inthevip’s counterpart, vipcrew.com. I think Kimbo is in a few of those as well.
February 18th, 2008 at 2:40 PM
maggs could take lesnar
February 18th, 2008 at 2:41 PM
Maggs said he won a national championship in swimming. Dont you read these things CRM?
February 18th, 2008 at 2:44 PM
Magglio- I’m not saying that he can compete with the true MMA heavyweights (I’m a boxing guy, not MMA anyways), but he’s hardly a brawler in the sense that Kimbo is a brawler. I know there are a host of different fighting styles in MMA, I just figured there was a better description for Brock.
February 18th, 2008 at 2:44 PM
maggs could also take kimbo
February 18th, 2008 at 2:46 PM
Oh, and he was a Natl champ (and a runner-up) at Minnesota apparently.
February 18th, 2008 at 2:56 PM
@Maj, Maggs, et al – Lesnar is just like all the other wrestlers in MMA (Liddell, Rampage, Couture, etc)…he wants to stand and trade, but he has a deep-rooted wrestling background. At the beginning of all those guys careers they couldn’t defend against a submission attempt. Lesnar, if healthy could play a major role in MMA for the next 10 years if he continues to work.
As for the average age of an Olympic swimmer…I have no idea.
February 18th, 2008 at 3:25 PM
@ atlantasportsfan
Kimbo likes him the ladies [Extremely NSFW]
February 18th, 2008 at 3:26 PM
jesus narrator nice lmao
February 18th, 2008 at 3:35 PM
@ the unrealiable narrorator- that isnt apple juice in that glass is it ? kimbo likes golden showers lol
February 18th, 2008 at 3:36 PM
Not pictured: Him removing the glass from her bikini-less bikini spot after she unloaded her juices.
February 18th, 2008 at 5:28 PM
Put Kimbo in the cage with some legit competition and then talk to me. Gary Shaw, the president of Elite XC, will protect Kimbo by putting him in matches with fighters past their prime, until his contract with XC expires.
Once Dana White signs him, Kimbo will go up against some legit competition. Then, we will see if he’s the real deal or not.
February 18th, 2008 at 8:42 PM
Slice would win. Regarding Lesnar – for an ex-NCAA champ he got owned against Mir.
FYI – Tank used to be a top UFC fighter. Had a great right hand. That was 15 years ago. He has to be in his mid-40s and still chubby. No suprise that Kimbo destroyed him.
February 19th, 2008 at 8:36 AM
Are you guys serious regarding slice?
Tank was 9-13 before the fight. Slice has fought all standing up. The lower card of the UFC heavyweights would crush him. stand up dont mean crap if you got someone that can tap you out from the ground or someone with BJJ experience. Lesnar, although he lost made a rookie mistake and got caught. Id take Lesnar over Slice. Although Slice is officially the scariest man on the face of this earth..