Actual Headline: Woman Sat on Toilet for Two Years
Random, What the hell is wrong with people March 12th. 2008, 3:03pm
Easily, the best link we have received today: A woman in Kansas sat on a toilet for two years, according to the AP. “She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body.” This part is the most puzzling: “[Her boyfriend] told investigators he brought his girlfriend food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom. “And her reply would be, `Maybe tomorrow,”‘ [Mr. Police] said. “According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom.”
55 Responses to “Actual Headline: Woman Sat on Toilet for Two Years”
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March 12th, 2008 at 3:06 PM
i bet he peed on her. i would have.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:07 PM
That’s a fine looking toilet. I wouldn’t leave either.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:08 PM
is she related to Jerome James by chance?
March 12th, 2008 at 3:10 PM
spencer thats too funny
no sex for two years though…that sucks for him
March 12th, 2008 at 3:10 PM
Did Najeh Davenport and Osi Umeniyiora take advantage of her?
March 12th, 2008 at 3:11 PM
You know it is a slow sports day when this story is on this site.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:11 PM
How desperate are you that you stay with a girl that won’t leave the bathroom for 2 years? I would have left her the second I had to piss.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:13 PM
it’s actually a fine sports day, but this story cracked me up so much, i had to run with it. has anyone ever sat on a toilet for an hour? a day? a week?
TWO YEARS????? Get that woman in the Guiness Book of World Records
March 12th, 2008 at 3:13 PM
you guys are killin me….question though..if you are stuck to the seat how can you efficiently wipe?
March 12th, 2008 at 3:14 PM
WVU is about to be the 2nd Big East team to be eliminated from the NCAAs: Providence 48, WVU 47 with four mins left …
Miami fans rejoice
March 12th, 2008 at 3:15 PM
Sex on the toilet is much harder when she’s the one sitting on the bowl
March 12th, 2008 at 3:16 PM
pki…I am going to guess that both of them were really fat…fat people would stay with each other because they can’t get any better.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:16 PM
MLD…sex maybe…blowjobs real easy…
March 12th, 2008 at 3:17 PM
I’m on the toilet probably one cumulative hour of each day. It’s how i get most my reading done at work.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:17 PM
I’m more impressed that, presumably, she went two years without a clog. American Standard should be signing her to an endorsement, post-haste.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:17 PM
he was a pretty good guy he did bring her food and water.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:18 PM
oh, ive definitely sat on the shitter for an hour, its not a fun trip. first your legs start to tingle and eventually lose their feeling, then your ass muscles hurt, then your lower back freezes up and your only move is to dig your elbows into your thighs. getting up is like learning to walk after paralysis.
but the mel kiper chat was just too addicting to get up for.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:20 PM
That must have been some chilli.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:21 PM
Is it strange getting a blowjob while your chick is possibly using the shitter?
March 12th, 2008 at 3:21 PM
Providence will choke this away.
We always do.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:22 PM
who wants to chip in and get this chick the last 2 seasons of LOST? She’s missed a lot. Of course, I’m guessing she doesn’t have a TV in the john
WVU 52, PC 50, 147 left
March 12th, 2008 at 3:23 PM
lmao @ jb49ers
March 12th, 2008 at 3:23 PM
Isn’t there a name for when a girl blows you while you take a shit?
March 12th, 2008 at 3:23 PM
JB…if she is on the shitter for 20 minutes yes…when its for 2 years…a mans got to do what a man’s go to do
March 12th, 2008 at 3:24 PM
I wondered what Roseanne Barr had been doing.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:24 PM
bad 3-point attempt by PC … clang. But i think the guy had just made one prior, so maybe it wasn’t a terrible shot. WVU ball and timeout.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:24 PM
Paris.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:25 PM
blumpkin oral while you are taking a deuce.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:25 PM
At my last job I used to sit on the toilet and play my PSP, but even then I could only do like an hour, my legs would start to fall asleep. You have to imagine this was one fat bitch, combine that with extreme atrophy and it will be a long time before she walks again.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:25 PM
WVU miss three with shot clock winding down … PC running nothing … forced shot by Xavier and it was blocked
Alexander going to the line with 30 seconds left … 1 and 1
March 12th, 2008 at 3:27 PM
Pitt should own Cinci tonight, right?
March 12th, 2008 at 3:27 PM
@CBH: Yeah there is. Tuesday.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:28 PM
bangs em both, 54-50 … PC with another bad drive and shot, WVU board and going to the line with 17 seconds left. Alexander again, and he’s like 80% … miss! But a lane violation on PC
Wow, bad call. Replay didn’t even show it. Bilas: “oh please. unbelievable.” Oh, they showed the replay again, and he WAS in the lane. Alexander makes the next two, 86-80 … turnover and that does it …
March 12th, 2008 at 3:29 PM
in kansas? i’d be shitting for two years straight to if i had to deal with bill self in the winter and the royals in the summer.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:32 PM
Florida A & M up 7 in the second half over Maryland Eastern Shore. Stick to the comments for updates.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:33 PM
cbh49er Says:
Isn’t there a name for when a girl blows you while you take a shit?
Yeah, it was invented by Bobby Hurley and his coach. It’s called the Messy Krzyzewski
March 12th, 2008 at 3:34 PM
@jimmy- see you at the madness next friday at ST Pete Times Forum
March 12th, 2008 at 3:34 PM
I think I need to start reading more female-friendly blogs, I actually knew that disgusting deuce/bj act was called a blumpkin. God help me.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:36 PM
She’s gotta have one awful case of Hemoroids.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:43 PM
Don’t forget Irish and Jimmy, Hooters is right down the street from the forum…
March 12th, 2008 at 3:45 PM
This thread was both hilarious and disturbing. +1 to everyone who participated.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:45 PM
sportsgal116:
Yup, this is our sportsgal.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:46 PM
ill be at Andreychuks getting loaded before hand
March 12th, 2008 at 3:48 PM
Is that place any good?
March 12th, 2008 at 4:00 PM
Nick, I don’t know whether I should laugh or cry at that comment!
March 12th, 2008 at 4:02 PM
that reminds me: i haven’t received my tickets yet.
March 12th, 2008 at 4:03 PM
Not to speak for Nick, but I think the correct emotional response is to laugh if you merely know what blumpkin means, but cry if you’ve actually given one.
March 12th, 2008 at 4:05 PM
Is there a sex act that doesn’t have a name?
Maybe the talented readers of this site can invent some.
March 12th, 2008 at 4:08 PM
Better.
March 12th, 2008 at 4:12 PM
Not sure about you guys, but sportsgal moved up in my world for knowing what a blumpkin is.
March 12th, 2008 at 4:16 PM
That toilet is a prime candidate to be on hotchickswithdouchebags.com
March 12th, 2008 at 4:27 PM
TBL, your girl can’t control herself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0aedNpZeOw
If she get’s a call at 3 AM she might be on the toilet.
March 12th, 2008 at 4:36 PM
Blumpkins lead to Roman Showers (those are the things Jeff the Vomit Guy likes, right?)
March 12th, 2008 at 4:51 PM
April blumpkins bring Golden Showers or something.
March 12th, 2008 at 5:02 PM
So she’s stuck to the seat, which means she can’t wipe and hasn’t bathed in two years. Not a good day to be an EMT.