You Finally Nailed The Perfect Bracket, Didn’t You?
College Basketball March 20th. 2008, 1:34pm
Don’t be shy. You know you want to brag. I mean, come on! How many people in the history of the college basketball loving world have picked a perfect bracket? Not too many, that’s for sure.
But this is your year. You did it! You’re going to win so much money. That office pool for 67 bucks? Yours! That blog pool with all those witty transients you comment about offbeat barely-related-to-sports stories with a John Scheyer bobble-head for a prize: Yours! One in 7.2 million trillion? Good odds for any Spartan.
I’m sure that’s how we all felt on Monday morning when we first filled out our brackets. But I know how you felt as the week went by and you started to…doubt yourself…just a little.
Monday
9am: You just filled out your first bracket. Genius. Nobody else is going to see George Mason beating Notre Dame. I doubt anyone has else has even heard of George Mason. This is the perfect bracket.
10am: Nope, on second thought Oregon is definetely going to be able to handle Mississippi State.
10:25am: Mississippi State has this one. They’re due.
Noon: Lunch
1:13pm: Stanford is pretty good, but Cornell’s alums are very convincing.
2:55pm: You enter your 4th online pool.
4:49pm: Your first full day of bracetology comes to a close. You start to wonder if this is the year that a 16-seed gets a win.
Tuesday
9:17am: You enter your 7th pool. This one is on MySpace. Winner gets to meet Tom.
11:02am: Austen Paey has looked good this year. You based this on the highlights you saw from their conference tournament last week.
Noon: Lunch
2:05pm: So what Vanderbilt is a top-25 team: You literally, live right down the street from Siena. You’re going to be rooting for them anyway… (What? Just me?)
3:45pm: You notice The Sports Gal’s picks are up on ESPN.com. Despite the fact that she writes just like her husband you still disagree with her on the UNLV-Kent State game.
3:46pm: You find this sentence in “The Sports Gal’s column:”
For the first two rounds of picks, Bill jotted down the notes for what I said to myself as I was making the picks, then e-mailed those notes to me and I rewrote them into what you’re about to read.
3:47pm: Aneurysm.
3:48pm: Seriously, the previous sentence was written in at least the 6th or 7th person.
4:52pm: You’ve talked yourself into Portland State, but decide to sleep on it.
Wednesday
4:25am: You can’t sleep – This is Portland State’s year! You have to get the pick in just in case the brackets are locking early this year.
9:26am: You’re too tired to function at work. You’re muttering incoherently about Stephen Curry.
10:39am: Sent home from work for shouting at co-workers who don’t think San Diego is a Elite Eight team.
Noon: No time for lunch – you need to research Western Kentucky.
1:03pm: Fall asleep face down on your keyboard.
7:12pm: You wake up and find you’ve changed your Final Four to Duke and three 15-seeds…in all 12 of your pools.
10:25pm: Digger Phelps informs Bob Knight he is now part of the media. Finish off bottle of
Thursday
9:15am: Send e-mail to your boss threatening legal action if BYU knocks out your sleeper, Texas A&M.
10:05am: You make your final adjustments. It’s beautiful. You’ve done it. The perfect bracket. All you have to do now is sit back and watch the wins pile up.
10:16am: These are the last changes. Done. Looks great.
11:01am: Just a couple more changes. Oklahoma to the Final Four!
11:12am: Why is this going so slow!? Update you piece of crap! You’ve got to get Oklahoma out of there!
11:15am: Angry call to the IT guy.
11:43am: You’ve decided to stick with The Sports Gal – North Carolina over UCLA.
11:55am: Phew! What were you so worried about? Simmons is an idiot. UCLA will look good cutting down the nets.
12:08pm: Why are the brackets locked! Why didn’t anyone tell me Kevin Love has back problems? Arghh!
12:20pm: Tipoff. You’ve never felt so confident.
12:23pm: What the hell? How is Portland State down 12 already?
[Odds: Vegas Watch via Deadspin]
45 Responses to “You Finally Nailed The Perfect Bracket, Didn’t You?”
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March 20th, 2008 at 1:39 PM
Cuz, you’ve found your nitch. Good job, Sir.
March 20th, 2008 at 1:41 PM
Well two games are over and I’m 2-0, so yeah, I’m calling it right now, perfect bracket.
March 20th, 2008 at 1:44 PM
Well My perfect bracket is down the tubes… 2-1.
March 20th, 2008 at 1:45 PM
“one in 7.2 trillion”
/fixed
March 20th, 2008 at 1:46 PM
2-1, right there with you jibble. Goddam Temple.
March 20th, 2008 at 1:47 PM
Temple already cost me the perfect bracket.
March 20th, 2008 at 1:48 PM
I’ll probably lose another one because 12 always beats 5 at least once, and Temple was my one 12 along with three 5s.
March 20th, 2008 at 1:49 PM
Perfect so far, but already questioning my Marquette pick.
March 20th, 2008 at 1:50 PM
Your chance at a perfect bracket was doomed when you thought to yourself: Yeah, Temple can win.
March 20th, 2008 at 1:51 PM
I didn’t have a five dollar bill this morning and didn’t feel like borrowing money from anyone. Consequently, my bracket (the same one I used in the TBL pool) isn’t truly “official”. If ever there were a year my bracket would be perfect this would be it, right?
March 20th, 2008 at 1:52 PM
Oh yeah…I had Temple, too.
March 20th, 2008 at 1:53 PM
In straight bets, 2-for-2. Missed the 16 seed parlay.
Next up, the big one: Oral Roberts. Line was 9.5 (where I got them) and it’s now down to 7.5. Lots of late money on Oral Roberts.
Also have Kentucky +6
March 20th, 2008 at 1:54 PM
I know the big10 was weak this year, but Temple wasn’t THAT good were they?
March 20th, 2008 at 1:56 PM
My MMOD froze on me. So I restarted my computer, logged back in to MMOD, and now I have Greg Gumbel’s face frozen on my computer in the pre-feed promo. Am I the only one having problems? I suspect not.
March 20th, 2008 at 1:56 PM
Pitt gets Oral in ten minutes.
March 20th, 2008 at 1:57 PM
my MMOD is running fine.
March 20th, 2008 at 2:01 PM
Barring 900 foot Jesus showing up in an ORU jersey, I’m thinking Pitt stomps the Golden Eagles by two touchdowns.
March 20th, 2008 at 2:02 PM
@412 – Wait, Pitt’s getting a BJ?
March 20th, 2008 at 2:03 PM
Pitt gets Oral in ten minutes.
412 found out my other nickname is Pitt.
March 20th, 2008 at 2:03 PM
Touche Gonzo. Touche.
March 20th, 2008 at 2:03 PM
Big 10 > All
March 20th, 2008 at 2:04 PM
i got Oral
March 20th, 2008 at 2:04 PM
ACC > Big 10
March 20th, 2008 at 2:06 PM
Sucks for Butler (no idea why this occurs to me now), but they lose absolutely everybody on that team next year except their freshman center. That’ll be a huge dropoff. I think it was noticing Pitt’s senior heavy team that made me notice this.
March 20th, 2008 at 2:09 PM
I get oral every day on this site.
/Dwight Howard
March 20th, 2008 at 2:09 PM
bastard lol
March 20th, 2008 at 2:12 PM
UNLV is really laying the wood right now, eh?
March 20th, 2008 at 2:15 PM
UNLV laying wood
Temple got pounded
Pitt getting Oral
Georgia got shafted
I see a pattern here.
March 20th, 2008 at 2:18 PM
@pki – check your mail. I need another invite to the ESPN league. I tried to get out of it because it’s my 4th, but ESPN decided to keep my money in a pay league, so it might as well be that one. Thanks.
March 20th, 2008 at 2:19 PM
Why don’t we all just put the MAC back down to a DII as not to fuck up the tournament! What a worthless conference.
March 20th, 2008 at 2:19 PM
Whoo hoo! I’m in first place!!!!
March 20th, 2008 at 2:20 PM
But my thought of “Well Mi St. can certainly lose” was much more powerful. alas it wasn’t meant to be
March 20th, 2008 at 2:20 PM
You can’t be talking about Siena can you?
March 20th, 2008 at 2:24 PM
Kent St. I live in MI and am surrounded by three POS MAC schools.
March 20th, 2008 at 2:28 PM
I often confuse MAC, MAAC and my father, Mac.
March 20th, 2008 at 2:31 PM
When did baylor learn how to shoot? Anyone?
March 20th, 2008 at 2:31 PM
Sorry, I was not insulting your father!
March 20th, 2008 at 2:32 PM
Oh yeah. Never.
March 20th, 2008 at 2:35 PM
I’m with ya Hef, I went on a limb and took them for an upset for shits and grins and it’s going to cost me a perfect bracket!
March 20th, 2008 at 2:38 PM
Maybe they hired Carlton Dotson as shooting coach?
March 20th, 2008 at 2:39 PM
kicking my self in the ass for picking Baylor and Oral roberts right now
March 20th, 2008 at 2:41 PM
Just checked. I didn’t take baylor. I accidently took purdue. I’m a brilliant idiot.
March 20th, 2008 at 2:45 PM
Kent St. 10 points in a half…thank God I picked UNLV in that one.
March 20th, 2008 at 3:07 PM
Kentucky is going to fuck up my perfect bracket if they keep this shit up.
March 20th, 2008 at 3:08 PM
i just realized i picked Kentucky
/throwing the TBL bracket in the trash can