Rent Dennis Rodman to Help You Dye Your Hair
Losers April 1st. 2008, 11:43am
We long ago lost interest in Dennis Rodman, but when someone types something as laughable as, “Not since Scott Baio has there been a more in-demand man by starlets in Hollywood than Rodman,” well, we can’t help but wallow in a bit of schadenfreude. The Worm needs money, and he’s desperate to stay relevant. It’s a disgusting combination, like rum, Goldschlager and jagr (Liquid Cocaine, they call it).
* PIG vs. Dennis Rodman – $75
* The worm gives you advice on how to date women: $125
* “Ride a Harley with Dennis down Michigan Avenue for $80. Ride will last 15 minutes and includes two personalized autographs and 10 minutes of unlimited photos.”
* There’s also some gibberish about Rodman picking out your tattoo ($80) and hanging with you while you dye your hair ($80).
This, boys and girls, is why athletes never want to leave the game.
(Photo: Icon Sports Media. That’s Cindy Margolis, if you care.)
28 Responses to “Rent Dennis Rodman to Help You Dye Your Hair”
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April 1st, 2008 at 11:45 AM
Dennis Rodman needs a subscription to The Player’s Club.
(By the way, TBL, I read that New Yorker article on Dykstra and it was simply incredible).
April 1st, 2008 at 11:51 AM
FYI, Liquid Coke is Jager, Goldschlager, and Blackhaus and it is delicious.
April 1st, 2008 at 11:53 AM
not per all-knowing google, baddog
but it definitely does serious, serious damage
April 1st, 2008 at 11:56 AM
i’d rather pay $ to spend time with this guy
April 1st, 2008 at 11:56 AM
The thought of Goldschlager still makes me gag after a bad experience my freshman year of college.
April 1st, 2008 at 11:56 AM
http://rodmancompanies.com/our_story.htm
Sad attempt at an April Fools joke…. Rodman doesn’t need cash.
April 1st, 2008 at 11:58 AM
I don’t know what’s in a Liquid Cocaine but I have heard it is horrific.
Three Wiseman and Four Horseman are pretty hardcore in my limited knowledge of mixed shots opinion.
April 1st, 2008 at 11:58 AM
man, am i happy i’m an old 34. mentally, each of those individually makes me want to puke. i couldn’t even imagine doing it all together.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:00 PM
I liked Dennis Rodman as a player. I remember one time a teammate of his was shooting free throws and he was lined up for the rebound next to the other team’s center – I think it was Shaq, but I’m not sure – and instead of watching for the rebound, he just turned and stared at Shaq the whole time and eventually Shaq got so mad he punched him and was ejected from the game.
Rodman was great.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:01 PM
I don’t know what a game of pig is, but I know I ain’t playing it with Dennis Rodman. Probably not Cindy Margolis either, if that’s what she looks like nowadays.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:01 PM
rodman was the best…but this is just sad.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:02 PM
Liquid Cocaine sounds similar to the “mind eraser.”
April 1st, 2008 at 12:05 PM
Liquid Cocaine goes down much much easier than Three Wisemen. I can’t comment on the after affects though, since I don’t really remember.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:07 PM
xv43, video of that would be hilarious.
i do shots on a weekly basis. i’m not proud of this, but i couldn’t tell you what was in any of my favorite shots without looking it up. it is a sad life i live.
dirty sanchez- is that supposed to be her in that picture? Are they dating?
April 1st, 2008 at 12:08 PM
PIG is just like HORSE except three letters instead of 5. My favorite game of this type is RUMPLEMINZ. Any time you miss a shot, you take a shot. again, i probably drink maybe a little too much.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:09 PM
Mind Eraser is Sprite and something else, those are really good.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:09 PM
Mike NYC – Did you catch the Bernard Goldberg interview with Nails? Damn….that guy went from being one of the best CF I’ve ever seen to looking like one of my dad’s friends pretty quickly. Wonder if the roids messed with him…
April 1st, 2008 at 12:12 PM
seriously – i dont advocate anyone trying liquid cocaine in the near future. it’s horrible.
BUT, if you show up at the bar at midnight saturday after the games, and your friends are tanked, 2-3 shots of this is a good way to get a solid buzz in 15 minutes.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:15 PM
since we’re giving drinking tips, here’s my two cents: With about half the MLB teams still to have their home openers, Hot Chocalate and Rumpleminz is a perfect mix for an early morning tailgate especially when its cold.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:16 PM
412 – I saw just a two minute clip online, didn’t see the whole thing. I just canceled HBO because now it sucks.
If you haven’t had a chance to read the New Yorker piece, you should – I couldn’t stop laughing, at the writer is fantastic.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:18 PM
Mike NYC, is the link in the PM Roundup from yesterday?
April 1st, 2008 at 12:19 PM
Sorry: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/03/24/080324fa_fact_mcgrath
April 1st, 2008 at 12:25 PM
@neo- that site is priceless. That beetlejuice guy is hilarious
April 1st, 2008 at 12:39 PM
I’m pretty sure everyone has a “I got so fucked up on Goldschlager my freshman year that I did (X)” story.
April 1st, 2008 at 1:52 PM
Liquid Heroin: Jager, Goldschlagger and RUMPLEMINZ! Ah, college was silly. I also used to drink Prairie Fires (shots of tequila and tabasco).
Now I sip whiskey and complain about the music being too loud.
April 1st, 2008 at 2:02 PM
I just brew my own beer and look down my nose at anyone doing shots.
Ah, the life of a liberal elitist.
April 1st, 2008 at 2:25 PM
@Mike: I always knew Prairie Fire to be 151 and tabasco. If you’ve got a cold or sinus issues, have one of those. Good God almighty.
April 1st, 2008 at 4:01 PM
Ben, we did tequila and tabasco at cornell…but hey, 151 is equally god awful, so we’re splitting hairs, right?