How Dull is This NFL Draft?
NFL April 22nd. 2008, 4:15pm
Came into this week all, ’sweet! Can do at least two NFL draft posts a day! Rad!’ And then each day slowly began to unravel and we’re struggling to find anything really awesome or remotely dramatic about Saturday’s spectacle. In 2007 it was all about Brady Quinn; 2006 was incredible on too many levels to count. This year? Weak.
Let’s see … there’s Darren McFadden. He could fall because he’s got a few children with a few women, which some teams value more than a blazing 40. Ummm … Kiper wannabes people are projecting like three offensive lineman in the Top 10. Snooze. That’s a solid 45 minutes talking about pancake stats Saturday. We’d rather spend 45 four or five minutes in a steam with Chris Berman, mow the lawn, and then change the oil on the wife’s car.
There are no sexy quarterbacks in this draft. Matt Ryan? Solid, but unspectacular. Andre Woodson? Flashing the third photo here would be wise. Brian Brohm? He lost steam when Petrino bolted for Arkansas. The kid from Delaware, Joe Flacco, has a name that sounds way too close to “flacid” and that brings up all sorts of penis imagery, which never is a good thing.
The best WR is this kid Devin Thomas from Michigan State. The last “can’t miss” MSU star was Charles Rogers, and all he’s done is end up on every all-time draft bust list. (What? Never heard of Thomas until he became a workout wonder? That’s probably because he didn’t catch a TD against Michigan, Ohio State or in the bowl game; he didn’t even eclipse 100 yards in any of those games.)
Chris Long is a monster, his dad was a legend, blah, blah. We get that. We’re smitten with Glenn Dorsey. But Vernon Gholston, the beast from OSU? A non-factor against LSU in the National Championship – announcers didn’t mention his name after revealing the starting lineups.
Maybe its just us, but other than McFadden, Long and Dorsey, there simply aren’t many immediate impact players to be had in this draft. For those of you wondering: the COMMENTER draft will begin at 4 p.m PROMPTLY on Thursday. We’ll announce picks every five minutes. Will everyone be ready for an afternoon of debauchery? We pushed it back a bit to help out the West Coasters. Also, this will make your Thursday off the charts – new episodes of Lost and the Office highlight your night. If someone asked us if we could meet Marissa Miller for coffee or enjoy the commenter draft and our two favorite shows all in one afternoon/night, we’d have to go with the latter. Now if you changed the female to Jordana Brewster ..
53 Responses to “How Dull is This NFL Draft?”
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April 22nd, 2008 at 4:18 PM
Funny, I am looking forward to this year’s draft because ESPN won’t let Brady Quinn hijack it. Fricking maketability. JaMarcus goes 22 or so picks ahead of him, beat him 41-14 head to head, and gets “his day” taken from him.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:18 PM
TBL – You did hear that Reali reads you everyday, right?
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:18 PM
gholston a non-factor against LSU? if you can, rewatch the tape.
this draft is just horrendous in terms of talent. dorsey looks like a complete bust, gholston is hit or miss, chris long is good but he seems to have a low ceiling, the best potential NFL QB is chad henne? ugh.
i guess the best thing you can say is the draft is deep at RB and OT. but considering you can get an RB anywhere in any year, that’s not that great.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:22 PM
Funny, I am looking forward to this year’s draft because ESPN won’t let Brady Quinn hijack it. Fricking maketability. JaMarcus goes 22 or so picks ahead of him, beat him 41-14 head to head, and gets “his day†taken from him.
Funny cause Jamarcus spent the whole day at Jack in the Box getting in his offseason training program instead of even going to the draft.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:23 PM
who can blame him? have you ever had Jack in the Box’s French Toast Sticks that they serve 24 hours a day?
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:24 PM
At least he wasn’t at Subway holding some guy’s penis and calling everyone “faggot.”
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:25 PM
yea, well at least quinn can see his penis. because he drinks EAS protein shakes.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:25 PM
didnt Petrino leave Atlanta, which needs a QB, for Arkansas?
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:25 PM
Commentator draft; Does Miami still need to show up?
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:27 PM
Nah Spence, but moving to Jack in the Box country soon…can’t wait. Hopefully I dont end up like the Sta-Puff Tiger.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:28 PM
TBL…he was saying Petrino woulda taken Brohm if he was still in ATL. but since he’s gone, people think he’s a system QB or some bullshit.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:28 PM
Thank god Miami took Long. Now my Second pick for commentator draft does not need to go to Long
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:28 PM
This Draft is far from great, but it will still be better than the 2005 Draft which had 4 busts in the top ten (Smith, Benson, Williamson and M. Williams).
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:28 PM
Hell, Joe Thomas shoulda been the star of draft day, since he was the one taken 3rd by the Browns and actually contributed something last season. When does he get Subway and MetRX commercials?
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:29 PM
Sterlin…it’s solid, not spectacular. of all the regional fast food places, i miss Whataburger the most.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:29 PM
Correct. I thought you were implying Brohm lost steam as a player when Petrino left Louisville. Nevermind…
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:30 PM
Gonzo…but he has the Cleveland Hunting and Fishing Show! oh, and Under Armor commercials, i guess that counts.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:30 PM
Jim Harbaugh Scramble! A new commenter! Always nice to see. Yes, the 05 draft was abysmal
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:30 PM
I still love the draft just as much as I do every year because I still have hope in April.
/Lions fan
Seriously I am not an evil person, but is it so much to ask that Millen be blinded or crippled or something? You there God?
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:34 PM
A new commenter from Michigan. College football days are going to be nutty around here. Spencer’s gonna go thru Michigan overload.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:35 PM
Greetings new commenter. This one’s for you.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:37 PM
Good play on Jordan Brewster TBL.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:37 PM
Maggs, Lebron is worrying about Washington right now. He’ll deal with your Lions in the offseason.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:38 PM
Michigan Overload is very very GOOD thing
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:38 PM
Hell, Joe Thomas shoulda been the star of draft day, since he was the one taken 3rd by the Browns and actually contributed something last season. When does he get Subway and MetRX commercials?
Yeah, but there were no baby pictures of him in a Browns uniform
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:41 PM
TBL, do I need to submit a pick for MIA or no?
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:42 PM
You forget that when one guy (likely Darren McFadden when it’s revealed on Friday that he knocked up Bill McCartney’s daughter) starts to slip, they’ll keep flashing back to Quinn.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:43 PM
TBL, why you gots to knock our only good thing going in this weekends draft (Devin Thomas)?
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:44 PM
Mike, I haven’t looked at the NBA schedule. Any chance you’re banned from TBL by then?
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:44 PM
they’ll keep flashing back to Quinn.
Too bad Aaron Rodgers didn’t play for Notre Dame and/or came out before Brady Quinn.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:45 PM
No chance. Toronto is winning that series.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:46 PM
lol
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:48 PM
Yeah, just like they did flashing back to Roethlisberger and Aaron Rodgers.
I would pay good money (and not be all that surprised) to find out that McFadden had actually made Brady Quinn pregnant.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:50 PM
@mikeNYC- you can back out if you want to. You dont have to go away for a month. Just do me one favor and you can get out of the bet
so what will it be? stay with the current bet or take my offer
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:50 PM
412…great link.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:51 PM
cmon Mike i gotta go. 3 mins left to answer….
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:52 PM
Sweeeet… a “take what’s behind door #2″ bet addendum. Go with door #2! Go with door #2!
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:52 PM
How come no one recognized me when I first began commenting?
The most exciting aspect of the 2008 NFL draft is TBL’s commenter draft. I’ll be drafting for Arizona, which means I will take this very seriously.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:52 PM
That’s gay?
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:53 PM
I take JaMarcus’s back to an extent. I think it’s stupid to pick a quarterback just because he’s the size of a lineman and can throw a ball through a brick wall. It’s the same mentality that caused Nick Saban to take Daunte Culpepper instead of Drew Brees, and thank God for that.
Actually, JaMarcus is remembered down here as a good quarterback, but ultimately a placeholder for the three years between national championships.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:55 PM
nevermind Mike
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:58 PM
Irish, sometimes I actually have to attend to my job … sorry.
April 22nd, 2008 at 5:00 PM
With Jake Long gone, the Rams just drafted Marissa Miller.
April 22nd, 2008 at 5:01 PM
I think the Raiders over valued JaMarcus’ Sugar Bowl vs. Notre Dame, he was lights out that night, add his size and arm strength = #1 pick for Al Davis
April 22nd, 2008 at 5:06 PM
I think Mike NYC should make the pick he feels the Dolphins should have made. The whole point of the commenter draft is to be able to claim we are better than the people getting paid to do this job. In fact I would be disappointed if Mike went with Long now.
April 22nd, 2008 at 5:07 PM
Can the Rams start negotiating with anyone now?
April 22nd, 2008 at 5:08 PM
Goddamn Mets, nice way to piss away a little streak. 3 losses in a row coming up
April 22nd, 2008 at 5:13 PM
yes they can, with anyone except jake long.
April 22nd, 2008 at 5:14 PM
Ted, I will not disappoint (even if I really was going to go w/ Long).
April 22nd, 2008 at 5:15 PM
Spence, point taken.
April 22nd, 2008 at 5:15 PM
To draw you and and make a comment! Need more of you out here, Sparty.
April 22nd, 2008 at 5:16 PM
Guess not. BUT, a witty comment would be appreciated. You get a sentence.
No. 2…you’re on the clock!!
April 22nd, 2008 at 6:49 PM
Why the love affair with Dorsey? When did he ever take over a game? All I ever saw him do was “occupy blockers” and “limp”. You know who else did that? Dwyane Robertson, great pick he was. Get any other injured 350 lb dude and he can do the same things Dorsey does.