Yup, we mean that. As has been noted elsewhere, the 3 p.m. start sucked the excitement out of the this year’s draft – everyone knew the first few picks by 2 p.m., and there just wasn’t a whole lot to get excited about when teams were spending 10 minutes to select offensive lineman. Fortunately, the immortal Mel Kiper Jr. provided fits of buoyancy throughout, jousting with any and everyone. It’s easy to joust when you’re the most informed member of a 15-person team. (Immortality, of course, bends both ways – we only wish somebody could provide footage of his legendary taunt to Merril Hoge: “I’ll see you at [Mike Williams'] Hall of Fame induction.”)

And it’s not that Kiper’s just yapping from-the-gut opinion – Cris Carter and Ron Jaworski got caught in this net – the man is unapologetically confident because he’s done his homework and possess a prodigious memory; it’s as if he’s counting cards in Vegas or something. Sure, his nerdy, I’m-smarter-than-you gaze is unsettling at times, but when the draft rolls around, nobody’s as magnetic as Kiper. We spent a lot of time muting the draft this weekend – with all the bells and whistles on the screen, who needs volume? – but when Kiper was talking, we were unmuting. There’s a reason all three videos you saw today involve the guy.

Oh, and if we’re grading the ESPN cast of characters on their performance (sorry NFL Network, we only watched in spurts and couldn’t give an accurate assessment) …

Mel Kiper - A. If Kiper calls the draft on the NFL Network, we’ll watch there. If he calls it from the Home Shopping Network, we’ll be there. Is there another analyst covering another sport who has this firm a grip on knowledge?
Chris Berman – C+. When ESPN switched over at 8 pm Saturday, we recall a bit of back-and-forth with someone on the panel, but we didn’t write it down. Can’t find the clip, either. Anyone?
Trey Wingo – B-. Nice bit with the Army kid, and sweet luck with the John David Booty interview.
Mike Tirico – B. Saturday the draft, and Sunday he called the Wizards/Cavs game. For that double dip, he gets a B.
Chris Mortensen – B-. Would have been a B if he hadn’t said, “RB” before the Cards’ first-round pick. Keyshawn quickly said “DB” and was right. Seemed quiet and subdued most of the weekend, which we liked.
Keyshawn Johnson – B+. Have a love-hate relationship with him, and Saturday, it was mostly love. Plus, he got dressed in the dark, like we always do.
Steve Young – C-. Does anyone else seem to laugh as much at their own commentary? Or did we dream that?
Cris Carter – D. Too many hand gestures. He’s got a strong history of success, so he’ll turn it around, but we thought Sunday was sluggish at best.
Kirk Herbstreit – B-. Seems overly positive on everyone, but it’s probably because he knows too many people and can’t really take shots, even when necessary.
Todd McShay – B-. He’s like a young Kobe to Kiper’s Shaq. You can see the potential, but it is not yet his time. Had him at a C until the Donnie Avery stuff.

(This is incredibly weak. It’s not “someone” decided to create a myspace page for Mel Kiper. It’s Joe Sports Fan! Come on man! If you can transcribe the hilarious stuff from the page, surely you can read the banner.)